She tells me she's just not ready to settle into a relationship right now! What on earth has happened here?

Ok guys and girls I have the most bizarre dating story to share that I just can't seem to get my head around.

i was recently dating this girl for two months. There were sparks flying on the first date and it was only date 3 before things got very physical.

The last two months have just been an amazing blur of sex and us trying to juggle work schedules to maximise free time for more of the same!
she starts telling me things like she thinks I could be her "one", she's falling hard etc it's the best sex she's ever had and I made her feel like no other.

This girl is stunning and I'm starting to get some pretty intense feelings for her too. The more were together the more we can't get enough of each other.
Then one Sunday she says she's coming over and we need to talk. I know it's not gonna be good.

She tells me she's just not ready to settle into a relationship right now!!

The strange twist is fast forward a month and she's with another dude! We couldn't be more polar opposites. I'm in good shape, have all my hair etc this other guy could be a distant cousin of shrek himself!

Neither of us are kids. Me in early 30s and her in mid 20s so I've kind of ruled out any immaturity on her part but seriously what the hell has happened?
Is this girl just plain crazy or have some sort of split personality, gold digging or what. I really don't get this one and have never experienced anything like it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Perhaps you liked her more than she liked you? I have had this happen with guys. I thought we had amazing chemistry, the sex was great, and we were spending lots of time together. Only to find out they don't want to be with me. They say they don't want a relationship, next thing I know they are married or engaged or seriously dating someone else. It drives me mad.

    Usually when someone says they aren't looking for a relationship, I take it as them just not being interested in me. Anything is possible and tbh most people will settle down if they find the right person. I've seen it happen time and time again. People who had no desire to settle down, have all settled down in my circle. Yet me the one who wants to settle down the most, is single :P

    I think you need to just not try to understand her. It will honestly drive you mad. The only thing I can think of is that this guy made her feel something she didn't feel with anyone else. And now she is fine with me.

    But again, looks are deceiving. Perhaps they are not happy and maybe they won't last? Either way it sounds like you dodged a bullet there. If she's truly that indecisive about what she wants, imagine being in a relationship with her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh man... reading the title and 'bizarre dating story' I knew I'd enjoy reading this. I lost it at the shrek reference

    Maybe she let her heart go cray cray and without knowing for sure if this what she really wanted. "Is this feeling the one I think it is?"
    Maybe she's been talking to some other guy in the meantime

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    • It is obvious now she met this guy at the very end of our dating period. But Jesus most women have a "type" of guy in mind by this age. Bizarre to the max!

    • True... but taste can change as you grow. Like for example, I like girls with long hair, but the FIRST girl that got me paralyzed of her beauty when first laying my eyes on her... had short hair, it was a little shock to me :p

What Girls Said 4

  • She was only in it for the sex and found someone she likes more. women sometimes confuse lust with feelings but it eventually wears off and they lose interest once it does. She probably meant those things at the time but once the hormones wore off so did the interest.

    I'd be concerned either way if someone was telling me I was the one after two months of dating.

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  • If she downgraded on the next guy, she's an idiot. Overall she may of said all of those sweet things half heartedly if she left you. She is either confused in general or she didn't lime you as much as she may have led you to believe which is common. Move on and upgrade.

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  • Heyx welcome to the world of being in lust and not love. And if this girl has done that to you at this stage be thankful it wasn't way down the line. Unfortunately some people dont consider how their actions make other people feel. But dont let it affect you moving on and giving your heart to someone who truly deserves it as not all women are the samexx

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  • Sounds like a rebound to me. If she's gold digging or has split personality you would've known during the times you guys were together. Did you manage to speak to her to find out anything more?

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    • Any time I try to contact her she just says there is nothing more to say. Take care x. This was honestly a total mind job for me. If someone had given me a blank sheet of paper and said write down your ideal girl I'd have written her down. Never mind.

    • Show All
    • But if she were a true classy why would she swiftly change guys so quickly?

    • Sorry mate, not much I could offer here. Am in an emotional state atm, hope all is well with you.

What Guys Said 5

  • I once had a girl stop dating me because she thought I was too good for her, After we broke up, a mutual friend told me that the girl had a cocaine habit and she was initially flattered by my attention but was afraid that I was lose interest in her so. . . she broke up with me before I had a chance to break up with her. . . but I was happy with her and had no intentions of breaking up. If I had discovered her cocaine problem, I would have been patient in trying to help her.

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  • The other guy had a smoother talk. Or she can't stand alcohol and he knocked her up and she needs him as a dad for their kid.

    JUst move on to better... or worse.

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    • Or you gave the impression of pushing her a bit hard.

    • Would be much easier to move on mate if I knew I'd put my foot in it somewhere. To tell a guy your falling hard for him on Saturday, sleep with him then end it on Sunday is a tough pill to swallow. I have no answers to think yeah il do this or that differently next time.

    • I know the feeling all too well. :-p But she ain't gonna tell you.

  • Possibitlies :
    1) she could have got panic because it was getting seroius
    2) she could have played you to use you for sex
    3) your are good looking and she felt unconfortable to get in a serious relationship with you.
    4) she does not know what she wants -> not so mature like you think

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  • She want to use you for sex and She did used you for sex, its rare type of women.

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  • Nothing surprises me about women anymore. Western women are the most crazy lunatics on planet earth. They are also very dangerous. I avoid them like the plague. You will never be able to figure them out and they will eventually do your head in.

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