I only have sex with my girlfriend every 3 months lately?

Please help here, my friends are starting to put things in my head. Even friends that are girls, me and my girlfriend are great or at least I think we are. She seems very happy, and the sex was always great. We started dating and having sex at least once a week, now it's once every 3 months? I'm the only one to initiate sex, and I get denied quite often. She is either too tired, she feels ill, her head hurts or her stomach hurts. It's gotten to the point that I don't want to even try to initiate anymore because my ego has been thrown into the dirt.

This week is New Year's, my parents are out of town and I'm home alone. My girlfriend and I had plans where she was going to sleep over; and yesterday I got a text from her saying she got her period which is about 2 weeks early from her normal cycle. My friends say that get pissed at their girlfriend's if they don't have sex for 3 days. And some of my friends that are girls asked me "Are you sure she isn't having sex with someone else?". My girlfriend and I have had problems in the past but we sorted them out. Honestly, she says she loves me and I make her happy but is she not attracted to me anymore? I've tried talking to her about it but she just gets frustrated and says things to make me feel guilty.

I'm really stressing out because I love this girl and I treat her like a princess. But I don't want to be with someone who isn't attracted to me the way I am to her. I've been in several relationships before and I have never encountered this problem. And I'm not the type of person to break up over sex but what exactly am I supposed to do to stop this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Trust me when I say it's not always about she's cheating or whatever I've been with my guy for 6 years never cheated never even been close and I don't have sex with him as often as he wants heck I can for weeks without it. It's just not always about sex maybe she just isn't that into it as she used to be? My boyfriend gained some weight and sometimes it bothers be but not to much he sort of let him self go. Let his beard grow his hair his belly. And its not to attractive but I still love him and haven't cheated. Maybe she's just not that into it anymore.

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    • But I haven't changed in appearance. I'm still the same weight, my characteristics are the same. We are both fairly young, and I'm at the peak of my sex drive so it drives me insane.

    • Then ask her about it. Maybe her sex drive isn't as high as yours that's how I feel I can go for a long time without even making a dirty comment to him but he can't go an hour without trying to just touch my boob. Sometimes I'm just want to hang out maybe that's how she is to.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Time to cut her loose. Let me ask you this, can a girl whose really into you not want to have sex in high frequency in the absence of some personal crisis? It's unlikely. Not a good sign my friend. Then she tells you she's not attracted to you anymore? I would have told her right there she can go find someone else she is attracted to then, and dumped her. Again can a girl who's madly in love with her boyfriend say such a thing? I don't think so. Is it possible to be in love with someone you're not physically attracted to? Nope. I also think she might not have meant not physically attracted to but in general. If that's what she meant again, can you love someone you're not attracted to as in personality ect? No. I believe that is womanese for I don't love you anymore. Didn't that make you ask, "why are you with me then?"

    If not it you probably should ask yourself that and her. I'll tell you what I think is going on. You said you treat her like a princess. Either 1. She's using you for what she gets out of you, or 2. Is cheating on you, or 3. Is with you because she doesn't want to be alone until someone else comes along.

    Drop her like a bad habit bro. Sorry, and best of luck.

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What Girls Said 7

  • This situation made me cringe for you. Sorry to say :( You should leave her. yikes im so sorry. I know what you mean you dont want to leave simply cause of sex but it is important to you, you are not being treated well because she is not willing to discuss something important to you at least, which is not respecting your feelings.
    The thing is she has her period, but you all can do other things like oral sex lol and while i dont condone having sex to the whims and fancies of a man, she could compromise knowing it has been a while and it is making you feel emotionally neglected.,
    But the blatant emotional neglect of this situation is making me very sad for you :( I would say do not move forward with this relationship unless she shows soon she is willing to have a serious conversation with you and you both can come to some form of solution, but i would say this relationship has little shelf life left in it. :( Good luck, it will all be alright one way or another ;)

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  • "And I'm not the type of person to break up over sex"

    Uh, why not?

    Sex is an important element of a relationship. You have needs. Assert them. If your needs are not being met, leave.

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  • Please ask her and talk to her! Express your concern!

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  • just ask her what's wrong and tell her your concern.
    it's so sweet if a boyfriend asked his girlfriend if he's not attractive to her anymore.. and you wanna have is her love. I think that's better, ask! don't simply assume anything. maybe she had a problem that she tried to hide from you (painful sex or anything)

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  • Well either she is no longer attracted to you which was my problem with my ex boyfriend. I was not attracted to him anymore so I would have sex with him like twice a month and we lived together. Or, she is just not the horny type or has a hormonal imbalance.

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  • Wait, does she live in London, UK?

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  • If you can't have a proper conversation about it, then something is clearly wrong and she needs to speak up.

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What Guys Said 9

  • The simple answer is leave. Why would you put yourself through this punishment? Do you hate yourself? It's time to take back your balls and leave.

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  • It could be simply because of like sex drive.. Cause everyone's sex drive guess up and down from time to time...
    Other then that I don't know... Just talk to her about this issue and if you are not happy then dump her...

    I mean you deserve sex and if you are not getting it to the point where you are not happy with it and if she is not trying to solve it up then it could mean she doesn't love you anymore... at least the way she did when the relationship was new!

    If she cheating? Maybe or maybe not... Just because she is rejecting you doesn't mean she cheating... It could be because of 10 other problems

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  • Like you guys only bang once in three months? Inb4 Tim tebow, If she isn't getting it from you OP. Where she gettin it from

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    • Yes, and now I can't even connect with her on New Year's which is pretty lame.

    • Show All
    • @foreverxinsanity What does that mean?

    • Then wtf you still doing with her OP? Dump her asap

  • don't treat her like a princess, stand up for yourself and your needs. you only get what you negotiate in a relationship. you remind me of my 9 year marriage, it won't get any better unless you demand it

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    • and don't be a dick about it.. this sounds so bad

    • Whenever I change how I approach things towards her she gets pissy with me

    • of course she does, that's how she controls you, if you put your foot down, she will get upset and try to guilt trip you and manipulate you, but if you say "I am tired of being treated like this, like a slave, I am done" she will change, youtube Coach Corey Wayne and listen to his stuff, really eye opening stuff on this subject

  • I wouldn't trust her
    when a girl likes a guy she wants to have sex with him all the time end of story

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  • Just dump her.

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  • This extreme usually wait until marriage lol lol

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  • She is cheating on you, wants to cheat on you, is sick of you and is a coward for not breaking up with you or has some sexual issue that she is not telling you about. Sorry man.

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  • Dump get asap.

    This is not okay.

    She knows it's not okay.

    And when you bring it up she acts like you're the jerk.

    If she recognized the problem and needed time and support that would be one thing.

    The only problem she sees is you not wanting to be cheerfully celibate.

    Dump asap.

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    • Like I said I'm not one to dump just because of sex life. But I can see what you mean with her not negotiating anything and being selfish about it.

    • I've been in your position.

      Sex life is important to most of us. That doesn't mean it's the only thing. But it matters.

      She's showing she doesn't care about it, or your happiness or that side of you.

      You would be 10x happier with someone else.

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