How much thought goes into the who-pays-on-dates topic for you?

My opinion is work hard in uni, get a nice career, and just fuking pay the bill already like a gentleman lol way too much time spent in this topic imho. I see it all the time asked/discussed on here. Hbu?

  • I keep a ledger and send her an invoice to collect the difference at the end of the month
    5% (1)9% (2)7% (3)Vote
  • I just pay, unless she insists. I'm not going to fight her.
    35% (7)55% (12)45% (19)Vote
  • I want 50/50, but not bothered if she doesn't want to pay
    60% (12)36% (8)48% (20)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Glad to see a guy on this site who doesn't bitch about it. I have zero problem paying my way or splitting the bill, but if the guy wants to pay, that's fine with me.

    I think it would be uncomfortable having a random person footing the bill, but then again, I usually only date people I know fairly well.

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    • Hahaha thanks and you're welcome

    • Also, where are these people going, that this is even a big deal?

      Maybe it's just me, but early-stage dates should be so cheap that it's basically nothing to either party. If either party even has to THINK about it, woops! Too expensive.

      FIRST dates, in my book, should always cost a grand total of $0.00.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I ain't gentleman,

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    • Also negs for being Wk fgit. Baha I am usually one paying when hanging out with Bros and don't see problem in doing it when going out but I do have very high standards of dating doe. BJ by second or I am out baha (Not that I feel like I owe em anything, Just gotta filter)

What Girls Said 11

  • I think everyone is confused about why men should pay for dates. I think it displays how interested a man is in you and his ability to support you if you need it. A woman is giving up her Time (youth and fertility) dating a man that she can never get back. Why spend it with a man who is stingy and likely will make a bad partner or won't help you if you get pregnant? If he bitches about dinner, what will he be like paying for diapers or helping you if you are sick? Women are already team players. Men are harder to gauge. I submit if a man can't afford to date a woman, he cannot afford to have sex with her and run the risk of imprenating her or afford to eat up a girl's youth making her wait for him to someday-maybe be ready to make a home together, or odds are he moves on because he isn't mature enough for a relationship and all it could entail.

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  • I think it's a valid concern for men to not always have the burden of paying, but, as usual internet folk blow everything way out of proportion.

    I think whoever invites should assume responsibility for payment. The other person should still try to pay their half at least, but in the end it's the inviter who has the responsibility.

    Ideally, it'd be 50/50. And I don't want someone paying for me.

    Did you hear about this guy who wanted a refund because he wasn't getting a second date? Lmao. I'm sorry, but that's just too pathetic and it shows how petty these bitter single dudes can be haha.
    i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ge-a-22_1447340490465.jpg

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  • Because some women (like me) also work hard and we don't like to take from others, especially when we're not in a relationship yet or even close to being in one yet with this person. I just don't think it's a nice thing to do to someone.

    Some dates are just a way of getting to know each other and I don't like someone feeling obligated to pay for me when we don't even know if we like each other yet.

    I am completely sick of seeing this topic though and all of the whining that goes along with it. They could always just take someone on a cheaper date if they don't have a lot of money as well. Plus in the end it depends a lot on the preferences of both people.

    Also it's a lot more difficult to just work hard at college (for some people), especially when you grow up really poor. Not everyone got off to a good start or has anyone to help them.

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  • I feel the same way. I really don't understand how this is an issue. Almost all of my dates pay for me even though I make sure to have money on me in case it gets split. And if I have to pay my own way then so be it. They don't owe me anything , but when they do pay I feel it's a nice gesture of being a gentleman, something a lot of men fail to be now a days.

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  • no time at all. if i eat it or do it i pay for it. end of story. doesn't even take a second to decide.

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  • I want 50/50, so I let him know I got myself covered. He just needs to focus on paying for him and having fun.

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  • Take turns if it's convenient. Go dutch if you have to. Relax. It's just money.

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  • 50/50 is the best thing to do

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  • Oh Tim, I'm glad men like you still exist!

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  • 50/50 but he insists on paying then I'm going to pay on the next date.

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  • Guy always pays unless he is my boyfriend and I am taking him. out for his birthday

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What Guys Said 19

  • I just would pay for the whole date unless if the girl relentlessly stops me which had happend before. I feel bad not paying for the date and it bothers me for some reason.

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    • Yeah same, I'll just always try to pay unless she insists lol
      I was raised pretty traditional however.

    • Thank you very much for the upvote.

    • Lol same here. I think it is the right thing a guy to do. Also I don't want the girl to think im cheap. I think it leaves a bad impression on a first date if a guy doesn't pay.

  • It depends on the situation man. I was doing tinder for a while. I'm not going to be paying for every date I go on when I was going on 3 a week lol. That's a lot of money. The women completely understand on tinder. If I'm at a bar I don't offer to buy a woman a drink. I see so many women getting free drinks then going no contact to the guy the rest of the night. I'll buy a woman a drink if I already started flirting with her and I'm vibing. My approach would never be hey let me buy you a drink you know lol. If I ask out a woman that I really like then I'll go ahead and pay because I'm letting her know that I'm enjoying her company. That's my way of telling her. At the same time if the relationship continues I don't keep paying. I split it 50/50. I don't want to give her the impression that she is doing me a favor by going out with me.

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    • Lol good point
      And yes drinks are different to me I don't buy drinks. And I don't like taking a girl to anywhere expensive early on, ever. Don't want to appear like I'm"qualifying" myself to her. Das not it, Das beta mayne.

  • Totally agree, man. People get so riled up over the righteousness of tradition that they lose sight of what really matters -- just go out, have fun, and be a gentleman. It ain't hard to do.

    If dating leads to a relationship, then sure, you take turns from there. Equality is great. But in the beginning, I *like* to pay.

    All the scorekeeping just seems like such a turn off (I'd feel the same way if my girl kept score, for what it's worth).

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  • If I asked them out and set the date up I plan on paying. It was my idea after all and I wouldn't mind paying at all. If they ask and set it up I don't mind paying for my half.

    If they expect me to pay for everything including all of their expenses when they asked me out and they were the one to set the date up I'll also pay but I won't probably ever call them back.

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  • work hard in uni, get a nice career, and just fuking pay the bill already like a gentleman.
    totally agree with you 100%

    But at the end of the day the question is most people have to ask themselves.

    https://i.imgflip.com/wj6j6.jpg

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  • I never even think twice about it lol I'm always ready and willing to pay if we're on a date unless she really insists otherwise. Didn't even know this was a problem until I was on this site xD

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  • I just pay. But I also choose something that won't destroy my wallet.

    It's like why would I take her to a fancy restaurant on a first date if I didn't want to buy her expensive dinner? Makes no sense to me.

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    • Ya that is smart.
      Plus, in my opinion I never take a girl somewhere expensive early in BC then it appears you are "qualifying" yourself to her.

    • True. It makes things more complicated than they need to be. Just take her to something chill and inexpensive and feel out her personality.

  • I knew you were a "Beta" provider xD

    Srls it would be cool to split the bill but if she was poor or I was a massive earner I would fork out on it

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  • The man should always pay.

    I'm old fashioned

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  • I dont even think about that when new I just take care of it

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  • Split it to a degree.
    Paying for everything always feels like a bribe for sex to me

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  • lmao @ people stressing over this

    I'll pay idgaf

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  • lol the first.
    But in all seriousness i just go in under the assumption that i will pay. Then it is a MASSIVE plus if she says 50/50, it means she isn't governed by society and things about others. Boom done
    >mfw

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  • I will always pay for the date where ever we go

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  • We do alternates.
    I pay for now, she does it next.

    I really don't count and I always tell here when I am broke, and she understands.

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  • I haven't been on a date that requires payment.
    Or a date in general.
    My only real opportunities just started this fall.
    Can I blame my lack of game on a bum knee?
    That's what I did in soccer.

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  • I don't see why it's a guy's responsibility to pay. I have bills to pay. But I'm not looking to date right now so I guess it's irrelevant.

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  • Your point-of-view will come into question when dating a girl who doesn't think it should always be the guy paying. And that's when you know you have found the one!

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  • I expect the girl to offer to pay for herself. I'll insist at least once. Don't really care if she agrees or not. I do want to know that she isn't assuming I will pay for her. That ruins the whole gesture.

    As for thoughts before the date:Can I afford this? Yep. Good to go.

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