When would you mention you have a baby?

i have been talking to this guy and im really starting to like him and we're supposed to hang out for the first time this weekend but there's a couple things i know that bother of us are keeping from eachother. MY dad died a few years ago and i dont really like to talk about it and its a conversation killer so i havnt brought it up. I know he has a kid but i dont know the story behing it. he hasn't brought it up at all. should i be concerned that he hasn't mentioned it yet? im not going to ask him about it if he's not ready to tell me, it doesn't bother be that he has a baby but i just dont know if i should be concerned that he hasn't told me yet. how long should i wait before i should be worried he hasn't mentioned it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I would tell this to the guy that you are seeing right away about a baby being in the picture.. no point in side stepping that one.. and if the sock was on the other foot I would tell the women that I was interested in about a baby soon as possible, but also in my unique situation.. before I told her that news.. I would first tell her that in a round about way there are two baby's in this relationship.. one being me.. not that I am a baby in any way shape or form.. but I do wear diapers and rubber pants same as the baby does.. and if that was or turned out to be some stumbling block... well then the second part of the answer would not really matter and it would then not even be discussed.. as any women that I want has to want and except all of me and that includes what I wear.. I did not ever ask to wear them.. it was just bad luck that it happened to me like it did.. but seen as I do wear them now and still enjoy all life's perks just like anyone else.. I just move on and if she is not the right women for me.. well so be it.. lots of other fish in the sea.. take care and have a nice day

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    • Paragraph breaks... Are a thing.

      I saw this giant wall of text, scrolled up, and was dismayed to see your age.
      Dismayed.

      You're almost my age, boy! Organize your damn thoughts.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The fuck?

    Excuse me? How can he, even?
    How can he.

    Your kids ARE you. They are part of you.

    If he has any significant time with that kid, this is just beyond weird. Sooo far beyond weird.

    I mean.
    My husband is an industrial-grade test tube of testosterone. He is not a talker, or a sharer, or a socializer, except with his annoying wife who just will not leave him alone (hi!).
    But when he DOES open his mouth? His son football bla bla, his daughter built this car thing bla bla. Kids kids kids. That's pretty much 95 percent of it. The other 5 percent, well, that's classified. ::innocent look::

    You see my point. A father is a father first, and everything else approximately 483,759,668th. That should be almost all he DOES talk about.

    Unless.

    Unless there's another parent, and a custody battle, and all that. Because that shit, is shit. And then that is a whole different ball game.

    Not to mention the ball game of being The Other Woman, whom **that** woman will make the kid hate.
    I mean... Um. I've pretty much made my whole life out of putting myself in difficult situations, but that is pretty much THE one I could not take.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You should wear a sign. Not trying to be cruel but the guy should know that before he even says a word to you.

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    • im not the one with the secret baby. He is.

    • or were you talking about the my dad being dead part?

    • No, just generally. If you (a guy or a girl) are getting involved with someone they should know that before they get in at all.

What Girls Said 5

  • How do you know he has a kid if he hasn't brought it up?
    Did you see a picture on his FB or something?

    If so I think you should just bring it up, there's no harm in it, and he can't think badly of you bringing it up, even if its a touchy subject its something normal people ask about, just something like "I saw you have a baby? They're lovely, Is it a boy or a girl?" that way you make it clear that not only you're ok with the fact that he has a kid (something he may be worried about) but that you're also interested in the kid, which assuming he's a decent dad he'll want the person he's dating to be

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  • Wait until you become serious, it sounds quite casual at the moment Since it's the first time you're hanging out

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  • if you know about him having a kid and you are comfortable about it, then dont bring it up, wait for him to tell you. There is no rush. Maybe he likes you too and doesn't want to scare you off

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  • It's not really your business until he tells you. He'll tell you when he feels comfortable.

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  • Just give him time to mention it, he probably wants to wait to see where it goes before he brings up a serious topic.

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