Travel issue with significant other?

My girlfriend and I are both 22, fresh out of college and with full time jobs. We have been dating for 3 and a half years. We took a 3 week euro trip (first time for both of us leaving the country) and it was the best experience ever. I am trying to travel more now that I realize this is the time to do it, however my girlfriend has made me feel bad about the fact that she can't afford another trip anytime within next year (somewhat significant difference in salaries). I am certainly not going to pay for her entire trip. I want to go with my friends sometime soon if they can but my girlfriend makes me feel bad and feel like I'm leaving her behind. Should I feel bad about traveling with my friends while she is saving up money? Of course we shared each other first experience out of the country but I just can't wait around for her to save money to go on another trip.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as you behave lol, and don't go somewhere you planned to go together, it's fine. She'll be sad but there's no real reason not to and she should be happy for you too. You say you wouldn't pay for her whole trip, so would you pay for just hotel and she can save flight money and spending money?

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    • My thing is this, we are still young and I already pay for a lot when it comes to us doing stuff. I don't want to set the tone of me being the bank while we are this young. If we didn't end up together in the end I would feel like I put more into it

    • Hmm yea, i get that. It's just like a habit that you pay, or will become that.
      What percentage of her income does she spend on you roughly?

Most Helpful Guy

  • You should break up with her. Your money is more important that time with her so you aren't ready for a real relationship. When you are in Europe, she will be at home wondering, "Why wasn't I more important to him than money?"

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    • To clarify what you mean, your saying it is not ok to travel without a significant other? I'm not saying money is more important than her, I am just asking if it is weird for me to travel without her while she saves. Why did you phrase this like if I actually loved her I would spend all my money for both of us to travel?

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    • Sharing experiences is something I want to do with her obviously. But on a personal level I do want to travel the world more and since we won't be able to see it all, why can't I go with friends for 1 trip

    • I am an attorney and I spend time counselling clients about their legal rights, but I spend more time talking to them about what is the right thing to do. There is a huge difference.

      You have the right to follow through on your plan but you can't force your girlfriend to not have any feelings about it. Do you want to pursue your rights and say 'screw you' to her feelings? Do you see this girl being a permanent part of your life? How you treat her should be motivated by the feelings in your heart and not the legal obligations eventually imposed by a marriage license.

What Girls Said 5

  • She should realistically not be the one to hold you back, if you get to go with your friends then great! I don't think you should feel bad, as it's your life, maybe you should ask her whilst she's saving where she'd like to go with you and therefore you can go other places with your friends

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  • It's wrong if you go somewhere she's made clear she really wants to go visit, especially with you.

    But otherwise I don't see the issue.

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  • She wants to see the world with you so I understand how she feels however she shouldn't hold you back either she should let you go on vacation with your friends but don't be upset if she decides to take a trip with her friends or even alone.

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  • Love is sacrifice! If you take your relationship seriously and you believe she might be the one do not travel without her. Just go once a year with her. If you wanna live life and go on vacations like you are a bachelor you should just stay single.

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  • This is exactly why I think it's better to be single why traveling or be in a relationship with someone who travels and is willing to travel as much as you

    Because issues like these occur and one of the partners ends up not going because their SO can not or they break up due to exceedingly different lifestyles and goals

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