When a woman gives a man her number without him asking, is it intimidating?

I'm crushing on a guy who performs at my favorite bar. It's been over a year that I've been going there and something about him intrigues me. Wednesday night I went there and I was on the dance floor all night; we kept exchanging flirty glances the whole night. Now, I'm not a shy girl whatsoever but something about him makes me feel like I'm in first grade - with those little flutters in the tummy. I decided to go ahead and write my name and number on a piece of paper. After the night ended, I introduced myself, told him I've been growing the balls to do this for awhile (and I added that if he had a girlfriend, I totally understood) and gave him my number. He put it in his pocket. Well, it's now Tuesday and I still haven't heard from him. I don't know if giving him my number intimidated him or he just wasn't that interested but the looks he was exchanging with me told a different story. I'm almost kind of ashamed because I didn't think I'd take it this hard, but it's taken me a year to work up the courage. Then to top it off, I ended up coming across his Instagram and I'm at a standstill if I should follow him or just not bother. Help?

Updates:
Okay, so I've gotten mixed responses about the whole following him on Instagram thing. Do you guys (and ladies) think that I should just lay low for awhile and the next time I go to the bar, see what he does? He knows who I am since I'm a regular for the most part. There IS a possibility he lost it. It was on a piece of paper they use to request songs on (not that big). There IS a possibility he wasn't interested. There's just something about this guy... what do you all think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You did nothing wrong - he's not intimidated and he was probably flattered if anything that you did that. He may already have a girlfriend or someone he is seeing, he might not want a relationship and doesn't want to lead you on. So he could have been interested in you but if he's a good looking performer he probably has a lot of girls after him. Maybe he wants to focus on his career too, who knows

    I know the feeling of spending months working up the courage to do something like that only to have them not reciprocate. Personally I wouldn't follow him, because you'll keep thinking about it and keep looking at his new pictures wondering if he has a girl. The best thing really is to set your sights on another guy and work towards forgetting about him.

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What Guys Said 14

  • If this guy is a performer and good-looking, he gets tons of girls like you wanting him. I seriously, seriously doubt that he was the least bit intimidated by you, not because you're not attractive, just because guys who are successful with girls don't get intimidated by you guys. I don't understand why girls always think that guys are so intimidated by y'all. We're not. Yeah, I'll get nervous around a girl I like, but not intimidated.

    The reality is that he probably just forgot about you because he has other options. Frankly, he probably did you a favor by not calling, because he would've just used you for some quick and easy pussy if he had called right away. So it may be a blessing in disguise.

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  • I would imagine it would be for some guys but more often than not they have misplaced pride in that they think that a woman showing direct interest is masculine of her (thus being emasculating for them) and thus they would see it as intimidating. But more and more guys are becoming more open to the female approach.

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  • Well he may just be one of those guys that talks to a lot of girls and simply forgot about you especially if he's a performer. You did nothing wrong. I think you did everything right and it's not intimidating to most guys. Most would love it.

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    • I mean, I know the ladies check him out all the time and what not (I mean, who wouldn't? He's attractive.) Like stated above, I did come across his social media account and from the looks of it, it's almost as if he's afraid to try and be in a relationship because of his busy schedule. Which is understandable. I would've honestly just liked a simple response to let me know what's going on. If he's interested or not instead of leaving me hanging. Buuuut now I am battling with myself to follow him on Instagram BUT I don't want to come off as creepy girl, haha.

    • You can follow him if you'd like but I wouldn't try to contact him again through social media after you already tried getting him to call you once in person. That might come off as creepy.

  • You look gorgeous to me and had it been me I would have been all over that number minimally twice a day. That is unless I already had a girl before I got your number. But that's the problem with meeting people in bars. Bars are never a good place to look for relationships for too many reasons to list here. I don't think the word is intimidation because if he's out there dancing and all that it doesn't sound like he that shy. I think there's something else to it.

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  • It depends.
    If I already know you and we talked a bit already, I'm okay with it

    But if I see you for the first time and do not KNOW you at all, I'm like 'hmm...'

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  • Don't be discouraged. Looking at your profile pic I can rule out that he's not interested (unless he has a gf) which leaves the only other possibility of him simply losing it. Either way, you're definitely a good looking girl so you shouldn't be discouraged.

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    • Thank you! I mean, I've exchanged numbers before and I kind of regret not asking HIM for his in return. I will still continue to go there, it's my favorite bar regardless, so I will be seeing him constantly still. I just know that I'm still going to have this school girl crush on him. Which is completely lame but I'm the type of girl that when I'm interested in someone, I'm interested.

  • I would just be really flattered. And feel great that a woman is interested enough to make the first move. That may not be all guys though.

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  • On contrary to popular belief it's actually highly, HIGHLY welcoming and we encourage more women to do it.

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  • He probably has tons of women going after him anyways

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  • Yeah but in a sexy kind of way.

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  • Ever wonder if he said , "No thanks"

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    • No, he didn't. He introduced himself back to me, said "thank you, that's awesome." And hugged me. I have no idea what that means, though. Lmao.

  • Hell no, it's a shocker though in todays "Standards" or modern standards, but yeah go through it, best of luck!

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  • It's not intimating. The more you do this the less you'll care. Not everyone can be interested in you but eventually it will work.

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  • It's not intimidation, it makes it easier for us to decide if she likes us or not. Don't follow his instagram, because you'll look too clingy. Give him some time to contact you

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What Girls Said 3

  • That's a good thing to do

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  • Honestly, he's probably not into you or has other things going on in his life. I wouldn't follow him. Why would you if he couldn't text you back. Hmm.. May be he lost it. It was a paper right. That could easily be lost.

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  • Yeah u have to make him to ask. Just learn to do it you must! - jedi

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