Girls destroyed my confidence?


I used to think I was a fun, good looking guy with cool hobbies and a good job.

I met this girl, I was on top of the world because I really liked her and she really liked me.

I asked her out, and she said no. Which really broke my heart, I didn't understand why at first but my thinking now is that she is way too good for me.

As I started to get over her, I though I needed to move on, So I made online dating profiles on various sites and decided to go out to meet girls...

Going out to meet girls, most girls didn't really seem too interested in myself, I had no problem doing small talk or actully talking to them, but that was it. I could tell most didn't really like me.

Online rarely do I get a reply to a message I have sent, Girls just don't seem to want to talk to me online or even give me a chance. I thought online dating was supposed to be about getting to know people?

I have my profiles set up pretty good, good pictures, good bio, funny, and I send personalized messages and never a Hey or a What's up?

I just feel like maybe I am not the man who I thought I was... I am 23, can't get a girlfriend,

Maybe I am boring and ugly?

It's really just made me depressed the last few months,

I don't feel like doing anything ( Going to the gym, working on my car, hanging out with family and friends)

Even my job, I hate going to work now...

And I just don't know what to do. I am a failure at life...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Your not a failure at life. :) Your not the only one who goes through this kind of thing. Don't be so hard on yourself, sometimes it's not the individual's fault but others. Have u ever tried not dating online? Also, What website did u use? It could be the type of website ur using.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Online dating is never a good measure of how attractive you are. If you don't believe me, find a photo (or photos) of a semi-attractive girl on the internet and make a profile on one of those things, you'll see literally hundreds of "likes" and messages within the first few hours. There are always hordes of guys competing for one girl, she might never even see your profile because of that.

    You're not a fucking failure, if you let yourself think that you're just going to become more and more unattractive, just keep working at shit and women will come around, you're not going to die alone.

    • Excellent answer. :)

    • You honestly have a statistically better chance meeting a girl in public than you do online. Because instead of competing with guys at one place you're competing with guys for miles and miles...

What Girls Said 1

  • You are young, your time will come. Many people go through what you are feeling. It's life. Just have good people around you like friends for family that can lift your mood up and don't shut them out, thats what friends and family are for, to help and support you try to push yourself to open up the them and just hang out, do fun things. Don't limit yourself to just internet dating, go to social places, but don't try too hard, just be you. Hope this helped ;)


What Guys Said 5

  • My experience is that people don't really want to meet other people for dating. They say they do, they say "why can't a meet a guy" or "why can't a meet a girl" and they dismiss everyone they meet and are back asking the same questions. We are our worst enemy. As hard as it is, you can't blame yourself. I know how incredibly easy it is to blame yourself and say you're not good enough. I mean, look at the common denominator in all of your rejections. Its you. But that sort of mentality is devastating for your confidence. I'd stop with online dating. Its terrible for guys. Absolutely terrible.

    I wish I had the answer for you but I really don't. I'm in the same boat as you and I haven't fully figured it out myself. But I think the worse thing you can do is crucify yourself and convince yourself you're not good enough because that's not true at all.

    I think the key is to keep your eyes open for opportunities to meet women in your day to day activities without actively seeking them out.

  • Trust me, I am in the same boat as you. We're still young, you got PLENTY of time to find the right one. Just take a break from looking for a relationship, focus on yourself, and who knows, maybe the right one will show up. Seriously though, FOCUS ON YOURSELF! I've been depressed the past couple of months as well, exercising is definitely one way for me to release all this stress. I actually just got rejected tonight as well from a woman who I thought was the one, so you're not alone. After this one, I said screw it, I'm focusing on myself, which you should too. You'll find her soon man.

  • so you hear the girls say many people go through this
    but you never hear them say
    I GO through THIS pay attention

  • Stay away from dating sites, they are the worst. Plus the girls on those sites are usually bottom of the barrel. People need to know their worth in order to gauge how much the other person means to them. Impress the girls or otherwise completely ignore them

  • I feel your pain!

    You just have to keep telling yourself not all girls are the same, because they aren't.

    I don't think we get much in the way of sensitivity as guys- we get laughed at, mocked, ridiculed for not being macho and it sucks, and girls know how to hurt us the most, so they use it.

    Try not to let it get to you though, girls go through the same with shitty guys, we just have to accept there are bad people of both genders and try and find the good people! Good luck with it :)