So let's pretend you have a teenage daughter who is 15. And she liked a guy who is 18, you met him and he's very respectful and he cares a lot about your daughter and he even asks for your permission to date your daughter. Would you give him permission?
So in case you're wondering, this question is sort of based on myself. I am a 15 year old dating an 18 year old who is turning 19 in June. The only difference is my family never knew him and I kinda told them I was dating him out of the blue. When I told them his age they were like "Are you fucking kidding me" and none of them like him because of this reason.
I would tell him that I'm flattered he asked for my permission, but it's not me who has to give him permission, it's her. Either way, I would tell him that it would make me rather uncomfortable for him to date her when she was 15 as where I'm from, that would make her a minor whilst he would be considered an adult. I would tell him that I approve of him already for being so mature about the matter and showing that he cares for her, and I would ask him to just wait one more year until she's 15 when they're both considered consenting adults and no one's doing anything illegal.
By pretending, do you mean, "how can I convince my parents that this is okay?"
Let's say that I've known the young man for years as a member of my church. I've seen his character, know his family, and think he has his stuff together...
If he has his life together to the point of being able to support a family, even if it means being poor, I would allow it. At eighteen, I'd say he has to either be part of a growing family business or is committed to a lifestyle career like the military.
If he does 'not' have the ability to support her, then I would say he needs to focus on his life and either a) she or he will meet someone else that's a better fit for their season of life, or b) they'll be able to fully enjoy a relationship together in the future.
It really has to do with practical reasons. Them tying their hearts down when a marriage and family isn't feasible at the time is only going to hold them both back. Why marriage 'and' family? Because let's not fool ourselves. Sex happens and so do children.
It is my hope that my future daughters and sons (and their spouses) will learn from me that much of their long-term happiness will depend on their individual pursuit of the Lord and the success of their marriage (Not careers, college, and materialism.) While children and sharing a few struggles can help bond a couple together, severe amounts of struggling financially can shatter their relationship.
It all comes down to emotional honesty. If it's better to wait, then they should wait. Because it's so much harder to make a rational decision about a relationship when you've already spent a lot of time letting feelings grow deep roots. And it hurts that much more when you hit the brick wall that you could have seen a mile away had you not ignored it.
"Love" doesn't necessarily "always find a way." From what I've seen, either love had a plan or was fortunate and had an opportunity.
I was/am in a similar boat and arguably an even worse one as I am 19. Not telling them is the worst decision you can make and it really makes the guy look bad since it shows that they already cannot trust him--a legal adult--to follow the rules and be a good example to their daughter. Instead you need to be very open about this and make sure that all parents are okay with it, and that no illegal activity is occurring. Given that I'm saving my virginity until marriage, that isn't an issue for me, however, most people will still gossip and assume things so be prepared to face a huge social stigma.
It is not advisable. It isn;t just 3 years here. Your brain goes through massive changes in those years. At 15 you are not an adult, at 18 you are. Biologically speaking. Also an 18 year old guy going for a 15 year old says to me he is creepy.
Sure I would after gentle reminding him I'm the chief of police and a ex sniper
If she was 16-17 maybe but not 15. That's to young.
But I'd ask him why he can't date someone his own age. In a way he's taking advantage of her.
I would have had to have known him for a long time and know him really well, so I know there's no funny business. Even then, I'd politely ask for him to wait a few years. But if both parties were adamant, I'd have to let them go.
If he's truly respectful, he wouldn't be asking. Until she's 17 or 18, she has no business dating older men. At 15, she is still a girl, not a woman... the men should have that figured out. If you want her for a lifetime, waiting 2 years is nothing. If you don't want my daughter for a lifetime, and you don't think she's worth waiting for, stay the hell away from her. Just sayin'...
Yes I would if she wants to go ahead, if they fall apart she will get over it. I know if I tell her I don't like him or prevent her from seeing him or dating him she be upset with me and not realize if he was bad for her. She needs to learn from her mistakes (if he was a mistake) so she won't do that same mistake again.
At the end of the day there is only 3 years difference. If you trust your daughter enough let her go but if you are worried, restrict and demand certain things such as places they can go and what time she has to be back for. I turn 14 in a week and my parents let me date a 17 year old.
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