How to deal with finding your absolute dream man but he has a child from a previous relationship?

I do not want to date a man with a child because I have finally reached a point in my life where things are just blissfully peaceful and I feel that would be disrupted with the inevitable baggage from his past. Naturally, he would still be carrying that 'baggage' including constant memories for the simple fact that he is a partner to a woman for their child. She's not just someone he can leave behind and fully move forward from because there is a little one who needs both their mommy and daddy. I wouldn't be comfortable with him constantly interacting with someone he used to f*ck and even make love with. Not because I'm insecure but because I'm aware that while things may not work out emotionally and mentally, our bodies can't help but crave and miss something particular that was done sexually. Sometimes all it takes is enough alcohol, enough hope, or being caught up in the moment and being starry-eyed with the vision of a family unit. This is also what can create 'baby mama drama'. I can see why a mother may feel some type of negative, hurt way seeing her child's father build a familial unit with another woman involving her child. That would hurt my feelings as well. But I don't want to have to deal with a bitter, angry mother who can't help but start drama.

There's also a risk that I may get very attached to a child whom I have no legal rights to. I absolutely adore children to bits. I love setting their imaginations wild and providing their needs so there's no doubt in my mind I would become strongly attached to a child I have no lawful rights to. This means that if the relationship doesn't work out, then that's not one but TWO emotional attachments I have to sever. Avoiding the risk of dating a man with a child seems to ensure an outcome of undisrupted peace but what do I do if I finally find that man who fulfills my greatest dreams and draws me in like a moth to a flame yet has a child? Have you ever been in this situation? If so, what happened? What do you guys think about the truthful, unavoidable possible negative outcomes that come with dating someone who has a child?


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What Girls Said 1

  • He's not your dream man then is he?

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