I don't like the idea of my boyfriend having a close female friend?

Yes I know I'm probably being silly and I would never ask him to give up any of his friends. But secretly its on my mind and its starting to upset me. We only started dating and its being going amazing but his close to this one girl and it bothers me so much. She's constantly what looks like to me as flirting on all his photos and stuff its just getting at me. Like how do you deal with this in a reasonable way?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Can you elaborate on the flirting she does? And more importantly, how he responds to it?

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    • Like just little compliments on his photos about the way he looks something as a girlfriend would leave. His never replied to it from what I can see on the posts. I wish it didn't bother me but it does.

    • I see. You should share your feelings with him if you already haven't.

      I don't know exactly what she's said, but it kinda sounds like she's skirting the line a bit. Frankly, as a man I wouldn't love it either.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's okay to have FRIENDS of the opposite gender when in a relationship, BUT those friendships have to be kept in check. Period. No low-key flirting or touching or anything. You can't treat friends of the opposite gender the same way you can treat same sex friends either. You have to keep the friendship more at a distance, nothing too close or personal.

    Just explain to your boyfriend that you're okay with him having girl friends but not with him having CLOSE girl friends, like, having a "female best friend" is a no no, your GIRLFRIEND is supposed to be your female best friend.

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    • Wow... really? So you don't have a male bestie to ask his point of views for certain matters like these? Well, fair enough. We do have girlsaskguys. com we can rely on...

      I have close female friends and my woman knows all of them because I have introduced them all to her. I am not secretive at all and share my day-to-day activities with her, that alone keeps me in check, not to mention I flirt with my woman constantly for so many years. She's not bothered by their compliments and small flirting. That's for HS.

      Keep in mind, these two have only started dating. Dating does not mean exclusive. Even if it was exclusive, I wouldn't just tell the woman I was dating to drop her best man friend... shit will only make me possessive and psycho. So that'll make you?

      I wouldn't drop my close female friends for a woman I just met.

What Guys Said 9

  • You have an amazing thing going. Don't put too much thought about things that aren't there to begin with. There is a reason why he dated you and not his "close friend" >>>> you're more interesting than her in his eyes. If a female compliments your date, so what? He's with you! If you decide to wage war in the matter, you will lose. He knows her way longer than you and there are other pretty interesting ladies out there. Please enjoy and be happy for whatever time is given to you. Don't put drama into the mix... it's way too early for that and feelings aren't that strong to create a solid foundation you two can build on.

    Jealousy and trust issues are signs of insecurities; a relationship demon nearly every couple encounters. It takes open-communication and trust, which requires a leap of faith, and with time and constant watering will vanquish this demon.

    It's too early to tell and regardless of how great it may have been, if he's not the one for you, honey, then he ain't for you. Just reserve some parts of you guarded so you won't end up disappointed in case things weren't as serious as you may have wanted.

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  • Maybe you're just being paranoid. How long have they been friends? I bet they met long before you ever met him.

    Your boyfriend decided to be with you anyways, and you both just got in a relationship. I'm sure he won't do things to screw it up already since he compromised. And regarding his friend (I'm not saying it isn't possible she likes him), just ignore her. If you try to tell him to stay away from her you only will push him away and give her... hmm, "advantage" (IF she actually likes him).

    The only way to handle it is if your boyfriend ever sees the girl again just tell him you trust him and wish him well on his way out. You can also comment his photos/status by just posting something simple (maybe heart emojis or smth), nothing too corny or obvious. Other than that, trust him and enjoy being together. It's not healthy getting this possessive so early into the relationship.

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  • Tell him how you feel and why you are concerned. He is choosing to be with you so that should be a sign in itself

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  • If they've been friends for a while, and she does stuff like that to him, then he's probably just not that attracted to her or something probably would have happened already. So there's that.

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  • If you trust him, there shouldn't be an issue.

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    • It's nothing to do with me trusting him it's her I don't trust. I don't like some girl all over my boyfriend.

    • I reiterate, if he's loyal to you, nothing will happen.

  • do you have guys hitting on you?

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    • Yes but I always make clear u have no interest and I have a boyfriend.

    • okay well she knows you both are together so whats the big deal, sounds like another women vs women thing

  • Let see if tty have been friends from when they were kids then they don't love each other most of the time

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  • Honestly speaking, if I was together with a girl who tried to make me break off relations with one of my best friends due to her insecurities I would be ticked off about it.
    I am fine with her reacting to it and I would be okay were she to express that. Just don't expect or ask me to change anything. She can be very confident that my best friends know about her already.

    That friend was likely around before you were and had he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with them he would have already done it. We can all understand that you're secretly jealous that another girl gets sides of him that you won't get and I am sure you're wondering if maybe he likes her more or she plots to steal him from you. It is just, that is in your head. Not his.

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  • Hey, guys and girls can't be just friends. You have every right to tell him that he can't have girl friends, but, beware he could turn around and say you can't then have guy friends

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    • I don't have any guy friends it's never worked out that way because they've always tried it on with me. I think that's what I don't like because I don't believe guys and girls can be just friends.

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    • But that wouldn't bother me if he said it. If it made him uncomfortable I'd put him first.

    • Right

What Girls Said 5

  • Just tell your boyfriend how you feel.
    That's what I generally do. He knows it makes me feel uncomfortable when he spends a lot of time alone with another girl. Not in a possessive way or anything, but unless it's a necessity that they spend time together to work on an assignment or something school-related, he's usually pretty good at respecting how I feel.

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  • Some men just appreciate and understand women. You'll know soon enough.

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  • then always be by his side when she and him hang around I don't think he should have a problem with that.

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  • if u had a close male friend , would u ruin this friendship because of your boyfriend jealousy?
    my advice is , try to be a friend to his friends :) he will appreciate it and you'll be more secure you'll know them :)

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    • The only male friends I have are gay. I don't have close male friends because in the past they have tried to make a move on me. The last thing I want is to be friends with her. If I did have male friends and it made him uncomfortable it's sounds childish but I'd out him first.

  • Express your concerns with your boyfriend. If it's bothering you then he can talk to her about her comments.

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