Too much of an age gap?

I'm an 18 year old high school senior, and I really like my 14 year old 8th grader neighbor. We have a lot in common and get a long very well. I'd really like to make her mine but our age gap makes me nervous. I want this to be a strictly no-sex relationship. I'm a virgin and I'm saving myself for marriage. Do you think I shouldn't make a move because of our ages? After all about 4 years from now our age gap won't matter. But she does hang out with some questionable people sometimes and I want to protect her from that.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • its way to much of an age gap and completely inappropriate! she's in the 8th grade and you can legally vote. wtf. are you too much of a loser that you can't get a girl your own age so your only choice is your 14 year old neighbor? also that is illegal. you say you want a strictly no sex relationship...so that's why you are considering a young girl who is more likely to be easily manipulated by an older guy? how do you think her parents (especially father) would feel? I think you know the answer. it is not your responsibility to protect her. I don't know how dating a creep would be protecting her, but whatever makes yourself feel better I guess...

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    • 4 years is not an ''too much of an age gap". Hell it's barely a gap at all. The age gap isn't what matters here. It's HER age. No one said anything about manipulation etc. Stop making things up.

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    • She's 14 years old. it would be different if she was 20 and he was 24 but there is a huge developmental difference between a 14 year old 8th grader and an 18 year old young man. I'm not making things up, I'm saying if an 18 year old guy dates a 14 year old there is usually a reason for that. stop defending pedophilia :)

    • Once again, thanks.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think that's cute, but right now I think you two should become good friends. You can protect her from those people but you can also be good friends at the same time. I would'nt make the move, if you really liked her you'd wait a bit, you know?

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    • You're right. She's definitely worth the wait. We both like each other, but since I'm the guy it's my job to make the move. I hope four years isn't too much time for her. She's pretty mature for her age and not exactly impressionable, but you never know what hormones may cause.

    • Well I hope she feels the same way towards you. Wel I know she does, but I hope it's strong enough for her to wait 4 years also. If you really really liked her you'd stop yourself from doing anything hormones could cause.

What Guys Said 4

  • Friends is best, for you and for her. She's still got a lot of growing up and so have you. I don't even need to mention the legality of it all. Stay friends, but don't get too friendly either, you don't want to be leading her on, she's young and she won't be able to stop herself.

    In 4 years, if your both still in contact (many things can change by then) then you can get more romantic with her. You see, by not getting too friendly, you've kept some of your own mystery intact, so that she (if she's willing) will be able to find new things about you that she would not have known before and that she would appreciate more now that she is older.

    I know it sounds bad, but seriously, it's just being in the right place at the wrong time; which is, as I have come to know myself, life!

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  • Your 18 she is 14 it is against the law, now I know you said your a virgin, but that will probably change when you get sent to prison, when you become Bubbas new gf. Not only is it illegal but it is creepy and it is pathetic, come on man, hook up with your own age or older.

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    • I could, I'm actually a pretty popular guy (hard to prove anything over the internet, I know). But I just have the problem of falling for a girl that seems too young. Also it's not illegal, only if I had sex with her would it be illegal.

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    • Yeah only if you have sex, but if she goes crying to her parents because you made her mad all she has to do is say my 18 year old boyfriend touched me where he shouldn't have or had sex with me, and then guess what you go down for rape, she's not legal therefore you go to jail. That is why you stay away from girls who are under the age of 18.

    • You could be right and therefore helping me dodge a very large bullet. It's just hard for me to imagine her doing anything like that. She's just very mature for a 14 year old. Might be why I've fallen for her.

  • You can play protector without dating her, but dating her officially is probably a bad move and will put you in the hotseat. A place that being "freshly legal" you do NOT want to be.

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    • I'm not entirely sure how to play protector except for dating her.

  • In four years time, no, it will not matter. But now, that's a different story. Wanting to protect her from questionable people is very good, but just leave it at that. Friends/acquintances, nothing more than that.

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