Just went on a date with someone with Asperger's and I need advice by what she meant, preferably by someone who also has Asperger's or knows someone?

So we went on a date several days ago. It felt a little weird because we have been friends before I asked her on a date. So after the date I asked if she would like to continue this or remain friends. She said she wouldn't be against continueing what we are doing. So I said I take that as a yes and she said well most of the time I don't know how I feel about things in general. How should I take this? I felt like she has been flirting with me for the last several months and giving me clues to ask her out, but now I feel like it was like sure w/e. Has anyone been in my shoes?


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What Girls Said 1

  • People with Aspergers tend to struggle with emoting in general. They also tend to be very straightforward. With her, you can probably take whatever she's saying literally.

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    • Not only that, we really don't know how we feel most of the time. We have a hard time talking to doctors about pains because we don't know how to describe them. All types of feelings, both physical and emotional, can be confusing for us, and we don't USUALLY think about how we feel.

      When we do, we have to go through some kind of checklist... like "Why do I feel bad? does my stomach hurt? Am I hungry?"

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    • So she's struggling with her emotions?

    • Probably. Like I said, people with Aspergers are not usually very aware of their bodies or emotions. The good thing is that you can take everything they say at face value.

What Guys Said 1

  • I have aspergers and it's really hard to show empathy because we're so bad at it, which makes us ashamed and afraid to show it again. It's why I learned to use big words, as a defense mechanism, so I could sound as emotionally detached as possible

    She obviously likes you, but you should read up more on what Aspergers entails. When you asked her the first time you seemed very straight forward, but by adding in the extra part of "I take that as a yes" probably made her feel like she gave the wrong answer to the first question, so she backtracked.

    We usually really don't know how we feel. Feelings of all kinds are confusing for us, not just emotional feelings, but physical feelings too.

    I was confused for years by people saying they "feel the burn" while working out, because it doesn't feel like burning to me... this made me think I was doing it wrong for years.

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    • I read into it to some extent. I'm going to try take it slow.

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