Am I stupid for wanting the right guy at 17?

I dont have many experiences but I worry about who I'm going to fall in love with and who I want to be in a relationship with. i just can't seem to find the right guy. I've thought about it.. LIke why does it seem to never work out or how i always find a reason why I shouldn't date this person. So i thought that it's because i haven't found the right guy and I know he's out there somewhere... I just want to fall in love with a guy who will feel the exact same way for me and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I crave for passionate love. Meanwhile, girls around my age have already started dating and they just date anyone they like.. then there's me and I don't date them even if i liked him back..
DO you think i should change my perspectives on relationships?

  • Yes. you need to go through the wrong guys to get to the right guy. It's worth a try
    32% (15)25% (14)28% (29)Vote
  • No. You should keep looking for the right guy. He's out there
    68% (32)75% (42)72% (74)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Oh and can you comment why?
Okay guys.. Well what if there is someone I like, but I don't want to date him because I think we won't work out or he's not my type? Like what if he seems like a player or a douchebag

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I didn't vote because I feel kinda in the middle about this. Maybe if you both like each other you should try it. My best friend just dated this girl in high school and now their married and I have barley seen a happier couple. But then again. I'm kinda the same way about wanting to find the right person. I think it's just a teenage thing. You obviously don't need to date someone just to have a boyfriend, but don't be afraid to try I'd you think it can go somewhere. You will never just see a guy and go. Yep that's him. That's definitely the one I've been waiting for. I'm sure glad I'm not in a relationship. You gotta date the people to find out...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It may not have worked out just yet because you haven't found the right you first.

    I think you should adjust your perspective, not change it entirely but tweak it a bit. It's great that you have no desire to waste your time on the wrong guys. That means you know what you want and have no interest in settling for any less. That's an attitude you should keep for the rest of your life because it will guard your heart and spirit from relationship/romance related nonsense. However, it's better not to look for this guy and let him come to you. Let the two of you find each other and in the mean time, fall in love with life. Relationships are always more fulfilling when you have fallen in love with life first. Be so passionate about life that it takes a certain type of man to catch your attention. Enjoy your youth before you do fall deeply in love because it will change life as you know it.

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What Guys Said 14

  • 1. For one there's nothing wrong with the way you think or what you want, it's all normal for almost every girl around your age, younger or older thinking that way. Men do too but again in a different sphere :)
    2. Fixations of thought thus expectations are what kill a relationship most times. Things that start out hunky dory wind up in doldrums because of this.
    3. Familiarity breeds contempt hasn't been coined by someone who didn't know what he / she was saying
    4. Fairy tales are what we hear & want but 2 people have to work together towards it to make it happen and they have to do it in full realization of every perspective :)
    5. It's never about 'what have I done' or 'how much I have given him / her' - it's always mutual
    6. I realize a tad long lecture, typical of old men lol but so long as such things are kept in mind things will work out :) Nothing comes ready made
    7. Don't be in a rush to find Mr. Perfect / Prince Charming cause when you do, you wind up most times disillusioned. Remember no one is perfect. Look for compatibility and remember change is the only constant. You will change and so will he from time to time. Learn to accept that and it should go ok :)

    Good luck young lady <3 :) I am not polling :)

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  • vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    No, you are not stupid. Keep looking for the right guy. I think maybe people have the mindset of 'experimenting' at 17 but I think that should be a desire for everyone our age. I really believe if you know what you want, that is a good thing as you have a goal you can actually work towards.

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  • I think you have a wonderful perspective. Don't change it for anyone but yourself. It's tough to find real love in the world but just know there are guys out there going through the exact same thing you are. They are struggling and getting their hearts broken while they are surrounded by other guys who are just going out getting laid with different women each weekend.

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  • naa i have turn down girls that were 10 out of 10 hot because she wasn't what i wanted in a girl. and that was when i was 17 ^^ know im 19 i had lots of girls like me but only 1 in like 100 i meet i like. Even when i go 2 the bar or anything class i would only fall for the girl that 2 me was worth being with. So everywhere i go only one girl is worth trying for and even on this hole site only meet one girl worth my time ^^ picky 2 the max

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    • I see nothing wrong with it , The only time i could see something wrong with it is if you hate being alone

  • I think once you start having relationships, your idea of who the right guy is will most likely change.

    Therefore waiting for the perfect match to show up (at an age when boys don't want to settle down) will cause you some problems.

    Nothing fatal though, hopefully.

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    • Though I wouldn't say 'go through the wrong guys', I would say try guys who are close to what you want. Who knows? You may learn something from hims.

  • No it's not stupid of you but it will be quiet a challenge to find the right guy at your age because guys your age are taught these days to be like girls to be wild stallions.

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  • Hahah that's the same question I've asked and the only difference was that I want support, affection and love ❤ too 😂

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    • ehhh you're the same age tooo hahaha okay and why did you chose B?

    • Bc you may loose affection about love and it won't be that magical feeling if you'll find Mr Right

  • Listen , You can choose any one right or wrong " it's your choice " but can you be sure that he will not hurt you !!
    You are 17 maybe you have a lot of passion , but believe me try to focus on any thing useful , work , sport or study. don't think much about right or wrong guy , just think about your future , and sure the right guy will come to you sooner or later , just control your passions and don't fall in love so fast because the fast you love the fast you hurt

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  • No, you are not stupid for it, enjoy it, embrace it.

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  • B, I'm like you, but I'm still single from my shyness and stupidity, lol :) :( :)

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  • Are you sure your dating life should be based on public opinion?

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  • Expecting perfection in humans is a bad idea, regardless of age.

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  • its in your nature to find some perfect guy that doesn't exist

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  • I think you should date more. Don't go out looking for the guy you'll be with forever. Don't start a relationship excpecting to stay together forever, just see how things go.
    Otherwise:
    1. When you find the perfect guy you'll have had no experience at being in a relationship and will likely lose him
    2. You might get curious as to what it's like to be with someone else and be tempted to cheat or break up with him for a new experience
    3. You will scare guys off if you go into a relationship thinking you will be together forever
    And more

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What Girls Said 7

  • I can totally see your point of view - and felt like the way you did at 16-17. However, I didn't exactly keep to my word. Had my first love at 16 and dated for a year and a half and he didn't treat me that well, ended up cheating on me. Anyways, when I went to college I started hooking up and going on dates with lots of different guys. It was fun, but sometimes, I got played and used for sex, and other times, I was treated like a princess and spolied. It hasn't been easy to find a guy that's just right for me, but getting to know other guys made me learn so much about myself and about what I want in a partner/relationship. Hope sharing about my experience helps you! GL.

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  • No, it's not stupid. At this age, though, I wouldn't fret over boys. This opinion could be from my bias of being a commitmentphobe who isn't good at staying with someone for longer than 2 months if that. I doubt it though. I just believe that at this age you should be focused on getting through your education and hanging out with friends instead of being tied down. I wish I had waited to start dating because I was so obsessed with boys that I missed out on doing fun things with friends or talking about more important things that didn't pertain to boys. Dating is fun, but being single is much more fun when you're young.

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  • I get what you're saying but at the same time I say you'll never know unless you try. Even though the guys in the past I dated or went out with didn't work I realize that I come out knowing more of what I like and don't like in a guy. Before dating I was like "I have no preference. I'll date any type of guy if I like him."

    Hah hah! So not true! Dating has helped me narrow down what my ideal guy is.

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    • so are you suggesting me to date anyone i have feelings for? Even if you think you guys won't work out?

    • If you have an interest and are attracted to them then yes. Going on a date or two won't kill you. Your views on your ideal guy may change based on your dating experience. Like for example you might have wanted a overly romantic guy and once you get him you realize his over romanticism is suffocating. You still like being romanced but you realize now it's better in smaller douses.

  • If you question whether or not you should date a guy, it is probably best to follow your instincts. You can maybe try going on a date or two, but don't try to rush into anything. So my answer would be kind of between A and B, but leaning more towards B, if that makes any sense.

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  • Dating is fine. Thats what its for, to find out more of the person. Love isn't always instant with some people. Its a slow grinding process.

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    • Yh but i don't want to get hurt and you know, i want to be with someone I want to look forward to seeing

  • No you are not, he's out there! He might be right in front of you so keep your eyes open for him. Someday your prince will come! = ]

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  • What is the right guy to you?

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