Hello, I would really like to know how I can accept myself as I am and stop focusing on my flaws, and the negative aspect on myself.
I want to switch my mindset from negative to positive.
I am used to be a pessimistic person so it will surely not be an easy task, but I am sure that I can do it with your help.
I am really tired of lacking confidence, and self-esteem. I want to be able to date, and all but in my current situation it is impossible.
22 years old and still wasn't able to ask out a girl, how pathetic I am.
I will really appreciate your help, since I'm facing a harsh situation and do not know how to overcome it on my own. I am seeking for your help, I am sure that you know some good tricks to get rid of this situation.
Here's a better idea: Try to TAKE ADVANTAGE of yr present state of dissatisfaction.
Dude, dissatisfied people accomplish EVERYTHING in the world. Happy people don't accomplish stuff. "Satisfied" people don't accomplish stuff, because they're already satisfied!
Just take the situation in which you find yourself, and come up with ways to use it as an engine for self-improvement.
What don't you currently like? How can you fix or improve it? Etc.
What yr feeling now, is the same thing that's the basis of "ambition" and "drive" and all those other positive words that people use. Ambition is basically the same thing as dissatisfaction, except people are actually using it to go out there and DO stuff.
I have always said it and I will say it until the day I die: you can't hate yourself perfect.
Look at your situation for a moment. Is putting yourself down going to make you hotter, smarter, or more talented? No, it isn't. It's just going to put you into an even worse state of mind which only prohibits you even further. Sitting there obsessing about what's wrong with you doesn't magically make it go away so why waste your time doing it when you can spend your time changing what you can and becoming at peace with what you can't?
Half of what we tell ourselves we're unable to do we are truthfully more than capable of - but we spend so much time being negative and telling ourselves that we can't so we never make the effort. Really, asking people out isn't hard. It's getting over the mental hurdle and being strong enough to accept rejection. All you can do is keep reminding yourself that putting yourself down doesn't help, it just makes your situation worse.
try looking into the mirror and finding one thing you like. just one thing. look at it closely and tell yourself : this is pretty, this is mine. next day remember that one thing and then continue and find another. just one, you will surely be able to do that. proceed and one day you ill stand there and think: hey i am pretty
Confidence starts on giving yoursef the value u deserve, before thinking about girls, u need to think about how awesome u are and that u are valuable. What helped me the most in this area was setting goals and work for them, the process made me realize Im capable of lots of things, so are u. Stop thinking on the negative aspects of your life, by the end of everyday try to think about 5 POSSITIVE things that happened to u and write them down if u need to, that helped me coz it made me realise that I actually have things that should make me feel grateful. Before complaining about something, stop for a second and don't say it, try to replace that thought with something positive If u are not content with yourself take your time to analyse what are the things u like and u don't and work for the things u don't. This is a journey that takes some time but loving yourself is one of those things that will have a huge impact on your life :)
In my opinion you do love your self. The problem here is fear. You want to feel safe. You don't want to deal with rejection, judgement or heart break. And I don't blame you, im on the same road, I have social anxiety, and im get better at controlling my fears. You just have to find that strength in you, and don't let your mind control you. You will find love. No doubt.
Now in order to think positively. Just say to yourself. "It could be worse." Because in a reality it really can be. Let that reminded you, that you are capable of more than you think.