I'm 19 and thinking about dating an older guy?

.. I need to find an older guy, but I would like to date guy who is like 25-35 because he'll want the same things as me a baby you know? so where do I find this older man


0|0
9|11

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there will be lots of older men that will want to date you, but I don't think its a good idea. just because they are older won't mean they will want the same thing. you could find a guy your own age who feels the same way you do, but DON'T, a baby is a life time comittment. only settle down with a baby when your absolutely sure you have found the right guy and fully prepared, after all the baby will always be his and yours. its best that it has both of you in its life. if you don't find a guy who will love you for who you are before hand. a baby won't make a difference and you may left as a single parent and SOME guys may not want to go out with you in the future based on you already having someone elses child.

    Don't rush things, take your time, you will have a baby in the future, no need to rush. I think you think a little lowly of yourself. which is not good at all :(. stop putting yourself down, just know there are lots of guys who will be right for you but at the moment may not want a child. if you go and meet guys in a club to get pregnant you don't know what you might catch and its not the best way to make a baby. just please think about things a lot more carefully.

    GOod Luck, God Bless

    3|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 10

  • Keep your eyes open and live your life. When you find a good man, regardless of age. Ask him if he is interested in the same things you want (being the baby) and if he wants the same, you both can enjoy a great relationship together, while fulfilling your desires.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    3|1
    0|0
    • Courteousy Reminder: Don't forget to choose the best answer. If you need further assistance in this situation, please post an update.

  • Older guys does not translate into "want a baby". A guy 25-35 dating a 19 year old girl translates into "Just wanna have some fun".

    Forget the age categories and just look for the right person for you. If a baby happens, it happens.

    0|1
    0|0
  • So I am 26, and I would never find myself dating a girl who is 19 or even 20. I would not want a baby with a 19 year old girl (or 20). I want to date a girl who is at a similar mental and maturity level as I am. I would find it hard to be interested in talking to a 19 year old girl, because there are so many things the world has to offer in a conversation with an older girl. But you recently graduated high school, so I don't want to talk about things that teenagers talk about. I have not been a teenager for a long time, and I am not interested in revisiting that history of my life, because I enjoy talking more about the future than the past. A girl closer to my age would have a better perspective about that.

    If a guy is 25+ and he wants to date a 19 year old girl, then he is not the kind of guy you are looking for. He is not mature, and he does not want a baby. A guy who is older and wants to date a teenager has not grown up.

    0|0
    0|0
    • A 29 year old guy came up to me in a nightclub I had just turned 18.. so that's not everyone.. and its not about if he WANTS a baby its about if he wants to have sex with me and if so I'm going to get pregnant because I want a baby.

    • Show All
    • I figured I would probably be a single parent anyways

    • Don't hope for that. It's not a good plan.

  • Please, its getting harder these days for people to take care of a child and I kinda feel bad for all those teenagers that got pregnant and are living the hard life. Are you even finacially stable, do you even know what exactly you will be getting yourself into. I have some friends that are still struglling (got pregnant around 17-18) and their is 2 of them working jobs. Its going to be really hard for a single parent, as it always is these days. I strongly suggest you reconsider your thoughts, that's a big gap you are making there. MOst of the guys around that age that are actually looking for a kid, I am guessing would prefer it be with someone their age. There is a lot of maturity to gain during those years and I am not sure they would want to settle with someone who just came out of H.S.

    Don't mean to sound harsh, if I did I apologize.

    0|0
    0|0
  • An older guy does not translate to "maturity".

    0|1
    0|0
  • Older guys don't necessarily want a baby. I'm 28 and have no interest in being a father yet. Why are you in such a rush to have a kid? You'll change so much by the time you're 30.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Awww hell I'd throw in my two cents but this stupid little girl is probably already knocked up with a greasy 50 something with two chins for a dad, hmm hope the kid don't end up being a rapist or a murderer.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The best place should be a club/gig.. But It might have to be up to you to show you are interested..Most blokes get thought of as perverts chasing younger girls..

    0|0
    0|2
    • Going to a bar to find someone to spend the rest of your life with? Terrible idea.

  • Chat Roulette... :D lol :D

    0|0
    0|0
  • im an older guy

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 9

  • I think you should be asking yourself why you would want a baby. A baby will solve none of your problems. Yes it will love you forever, and you have something that will pay attention to you and you have something to pay attention to, but I think there are deeper reasons why you feel the need to have a baby right now. No 19 year old is ready to have a kid, and I can't think of any 19 year old girl who wants a kid who didn't have deeper issues.

    Think about it:

    do you like hanging out with your friends?- well your time will be focused on your kid. Feeding, watching and doing everything for your kid. That baby is going to need constant attention especially for the first couple of years.

    like to go out at all? not with a kid. Kiss much of your social life goodbye for a while, especially until the kid is old enough to be taken care of by someone else (especially after breastfeeding which is 6 months)

    some of your friends may even grow more distant because you will no longer have much in common with them- you're a mother

    most of your extra time is going to be spent working to afford food, rent, diapers, formula wipes and all the basic necessities your kid needs, and eventually daycare or a babysitter.

    do you have any idea what its going to cost? Do you know how much diapers, wipes, and formual are? do you know how much you will have to spend per week, month, or year? Do you know how you want to raise you kid? Do you know about nutrition for your kid and for yourself when your pregnant? Do you have enough money saved up to care for a kid? Eventually you will need to go on pregnancy leave to give birth, and after to take care of the kid for a bit so you will be out of the picture for several months. Do you have money to support you and a baby? Do you know how much the dad will need to make?

    if you don't know the answer to those then you are clearly not ready for a baby.

    5|0
    0|0
    • I just want one.. I don't know how it'll work out but it will I mean if a 15 or 16 year old could do it why couldn't I?

    • But do 15 and 16 year old really make the best parents? Most of them don't finish their education because the focus becomes providing for the baby. What are you gonna do if the dad bails on you- then you're a single mom with only one income. Babies aren't toys. Its a human life. Are you prepared to be responsible for whether or not it lives or dies? Whether or not it resents you or whether or not it grows up to have issues and insecurities do to your ignorance and selfishness?

  • So I've read your other questions. You are a virgin. My guess is you have low self esteem. My guess is that you feel like because no man has had sex with you yet that no man wants you. You feel unloved and unwanted. So, you feel that a child will fix that, because a child is there for the rest of your life. Its supposed to love you until the day you die, they care about you, come to you for advice and they want to be around you- its unconditional love. Plus, you feel like the only way you can get a man to stay with you is to have a baby, and then you will have your perfect family (maybe to make up for a crappy home life?"

    Well here is the reality, many men, when they have a child young or are forced into having a child run off. So your relationship will end due to the stress of a child or because he's a liar and a cheat. So you will be a single mom. You will be left to make all the mistakes. Your kid will grow up to have issues because they never had a dad.

    Grow up, get your education, and find a man who will stay with you because he loves you, and not because he has to due to a baby.

    3|1
    0|0
    • Youre right about all of that except I do have a good home life my parents are together and love each other a lot

    • You have to realize that a baby is not going to fix your self esteem. Your problems are temporary, and will go away if you commit to therapy to figure out why you have so many issues with yourself. A baby is forever, whereas therapy may only be needed for a short amount of time. As in a year, versus a child being there until the day you die.

  • you ever wonder why he can't get a girl his age then?

    he's 25-35, it's easier for these types of guys to manipulate say , a 16-19 year old to do what he wants and appear to be a 'good guy' or 'caring'.

    the fact he can't or has trouble getting girls his age, says something about his maturity perhaps?

    he probably is more experienced at relationships, has made a lot of mistakes, has done things that he's covered up or he could be a good guy. my advice is not to rush into some relationship just because he appears good because the more experienced a guy is, the better he is at hiding stuff he doesn't want you to know about.

    further more, why not go for a guy around your age or a little less ancient?

    0|0
    0|1
  • I'm trying to think of how many 25 year old guys I know that would want a baby with a 19 year old who, at least in their eyes, is still a baby herself. But I'd say go to the bar since there's always a wide array of sleazy older men who'd love to take advantage of a 19 year old girl looking to get knocked up. You're gonna have to get a fake though since you're obviously not old enough to get into a bar. Oh yeah, and it won't be a nice bar, it'll probably have to be a sh*tty one since most respectable guys between 25-35 won't want to date teenagers and won't be looking to pick them up in bars so whatever bar looks like it may not pass a health inspection and where the guys look like they're never going to go anywhere in life that's the bar where you should go to find your baby daddy. Have fun!

    3|1
    0|0
    • I could go to a night club and if I really wanted I could tell them I'm older.. I don't look 19

    • Are you an idiot?! I'm not recommending that you sneak into a club I'm recommending you date guys your own age and don't get pregnant.

    • Don't do it !!!

  • You think a 25 year old is ready for a baby? psh. You too young to be thinking about kids; plus its hard enough to take care of one's self in these times, let another a child; especially if your a single parent. I wouldn't dream of bringing a child into this world unless I knew I could fully provide for it; I would never be that selfish.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It wouldn't mean the guy would want a baby, if he is that age he could already have them. He would probably be looking more for fun then a relationship. I have a friend who while very attractive and in that age range would not sleep with me to have a kid because he is divorced and had his babies already.

    0|0
    0|0
  • eharmony, or in a restaurant.

    0|0
    0|0
  • eharmony ?

    ebay ?

    craigslist ?

    chatrooms ?

    there are a whole lot of predators on those websites 25-35 willing to get you pregnant :D

    But seriously, don't be stupid take your time live your life first, your being a bit rash.

    I assume you have problems with insecurity or something of that sort when your already considering having a baby. To be honest it isn't going to solve anything for you.

    Work on yourself and your problems right now before you do anything before you even get into a relationship. How do you expect to take care a child when you aren't even happy or secure ?

    0|0
    1|0
  • I used to meet a lot when I was a cashier

    butt...

    I don't think a baby would solve your problems it would only add to it. You shouldnt have a baby just because you want one, it should be a decision you have made with a loving partner after serious consideration. Too many kids are brought into situations that honestly could have been prevented or improved because their parents didn't think it through. not trying to judge you at all but really think! Do you want to end up a single mother taking care of a child without the father? Because just looking at some of the comment responses it does not sound like a good situation. Sorry if I come off harsh at all

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...