Total player or legitimately interested?

I have been talking to a guy online intermittently since just before Christmas.

After he contacted me on a dating site, we sent a few messages before we started exchanging emails talking about our interests etc.

Things went quiet for a few days, turned out he had to go interstate due to a family illness, so we had another chat when he returned.
We then went almost a week without any form of contact, it turned out the family member had passed away and he was a bit down about it and initially didn't say much in our last chat to start with.

He gave me his number early on but I said I don't like to move fast and waited awhile before giving him mine, I sent him a couple of texts with my number and asking how he was going with the family stuff, I thought he was ignoring them but he said he didn't get them.
Not sure I believe that, unless he gave me a fake number or is lying.

However the majority of our chats online and via email eventually hint at some dirty comments, like how he wouldn't mind seeing me with my clothes off even though I'm a bigger girl, and he said he liked that.
Most of our chats online have been late at night, which is probably why he is saying the dirty comments.

I was also honest with him and said I was inexperienced with relationships, and that I was beginning to take his lack of talking and contact as that he was losing interest.
His response to that was "I do like you I'm just really having a rough time right now, I don't know what to say or how to say it".
He has also said he is interested but admits to being pervy.
He has casually asked about hooking up and I have said generally I don't go for hook ups, that if he is after something casual I'm possibly not his girl.
His response to that was "I don't just want to f*** you, I like you and want to see where it goes but it's been a long time".

Basically I am asking- do you think he is a player or is interested?
I'm thinking player, but will keep chatting to him and see.
We haven't met yet.
Thanks for any advice :)


What Guys Said 1

  • To me it sounds like he just wants to get into your panties. Look how fast he changed his virtual ego from nice guy to dirty talker. He's garbage, you deserve better.

    • Thanks for your response.

      I was leaning towards that, when we first started sending emails we were talking about anything and everything to do with common interests, it has only been in recent chats that they have got a bit dirty.

      I may still try to meet him perhaps, just to see, but I think I should probably try to find out his intentions beforehand.

      In regard to the asking about hooking up, I took it more as a general question as in do I go for it, that sort of thing.
      He asked me early on what I was looking for and I said I wasn't 100% sure, that I go online to meet guys, talk to them, become friends and then see what happens after that.
      He found that a bit confusing because he apparently thinks too much.

      I guess every guy is different, some more so than others.

    • Oh everybody is diferent dear! Like u said, try to find out hiw intentions beforehand. Make sure you don't get forced to do things you don't want. You never know who you're messing with

    • Indeed everyone is different.

      I asked him last night what he was looking for, he said he wasn't sure, he thought he was ready for more but wasn't sure.

      Of course he was saying the dirty stuff after awhile.
      At one point I said his comments made him sound like a player and he cracked it, saying that sometimes people don't want more as they have been hurt and all that.

      He deleted me off the site and didn't reply back to my email explaining my thought process.
      Didn't expect one, reckon I called him on it?

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