Guys, would you give me a final chance?

I liked him from the very begining but bottled up my feelings for so long and never told him how I felt. I was scared of being hurt and rejected, and push people away before they can get too close and hurt me. Now I've fallen for him so hard but I'm not sure where he stands because we just have sex now. We first hooked up a year ago, and have been hooking up ever since. He asked me out on a date a month after we first hooked up and we then hung out a few more times. He was making an effort then. But we both never talked about what we were or our feelings and so I started doubting he liked me and I just assumed it was casual. I feel I pushed him away because I would only message him when I was drunk and we'd hook up when we were drunk because I thought he didn't like me. I think he felt I had rejected him a few months ago when he made a rude comment then tried to kiss me, and I didn't let him so he just left the bar. I was angry because I didn't know what we were and I told him we should just be friends. I didn't mean that, I just said it because I was upset. I would talk to other guys and hook up with other guys also because I thought he didn't want to be anything serious. All along I just wanted him and I still just want to be with him and go back to spending time, not more BS. What do I do? I just want to tell him all this and be honest


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Most Helpful Guy

  • just tell him, word vomit. get it out of your system. he won't know until you tell him, rejection sucks, but we all have to face it. it doesn't get easier to face the rejection, it does get easier to get over the rejection. if he doesn't feel the same way, then at least you know. and move on. obviously its much harder to live by this then to actually do it. so its up to you. you may not get a response the same day or night you tell him, cuz he will be in shock over the word vomit, and will have to think about every single word you just said. if no response then you also have your answer, and should move on. hopefully this is useful to you.

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    • Thank-you I really appreciate the advice! We talked a bit when we were drunk a few weeks ago but I feel that doesn't count. Im moving away in two weeks so I feel I have nothing too lose. But just wondering if that changes how he's gonna act/feel/ react to what I say! IS it okay for me to ask how he feels about me and if he had feelings at any point? I just dont want to look stupid and like Im annoying or nagging him

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    • hmmm. depends on how you say it, bring up the guy you slept with first, then tell him that you know about his girl. if you dont want to bring it up, then you have to get over the fact that he slept with someone else too. last week was last week. just bring up stuff that is current then. dont bring up that you know about the girl if you're not willing to tell him about the guy. but if you were, bring yours up first, and when you bring up his guy, he may deny that he did anything with a girl, and if thats the case then its all up to how you feel about it, is he lying? probably. but if he admits it then, who knows what could happen from there. but first you actually have to tell him how you feel. then all this advice could come into play.

    • he's not the kind of person to just sleep with someone. I think it almost hurts more than he went on a date not just slept with someone else.

What Guys Said 3

  • Talk to him face to face.

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    • Thats what I want to do! I just dont want to seem like lm annoying him. Do you think he still has feelings? We had a drunk talk a few weeks ago and I told him I liked him and asked him if he liked me and he said he did.

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    • To be honest, starting a long distance relationship sounds like a bad idea. Especially if you will only visit once a month. And your history that you guys sleep with many people sounds bad too. Can you trust him when you are across the ocean? Might lead to many arguments

    • He doesn't sleep with other people so he wouldn't be the problem. I dont know if long distance is the best thing but I dont know what to do about my feelings

  • Personally no because I would have been gone long ago. The good news is I'm just some asshat on the Internet. He seems interested if you cut the crap and become a little more straight forward

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    • I know I feel there's been so much crap, that he's just over it all. Im gonna be straight up with him because im over all the bs too.

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    • One way to find out.

    • I hope he gives it a chance or at least tells me how he feels and is real. It would be great if he tolf me he liked me like I like him and was just scared

  • I usually refrain from replying to wall-a-text questions, but since this does not currently have replies...

    From all that, i get the impression you have only ever displayed a desire for friends with benefits and nothing more. To suddenly change the game is taking a chance. You can attempt the 'I want something more' approach but due to the length of the friends with benefits, i can't say for sure how it will go.

    As to the question - Would i give you a final chance? In all honesty and i do NOT mean any disrespect, no. I would not. And when you attempted to make something more out of it, i would likely break off the arrangement and go back to just friends.

    That is my honest and sincere answer and opinion. I offer no disrespect but that is my truthful answer based on what you have written.

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    • No worries! I get it! We never really had an arrangement because we never talked about anything. We did date initially but I was still at school so long distance wasn't an option so wed just hook up when we saw eachother. Now Im done school and things just stayed. Its just a mess of confusion. He got jealous and called me mean when I was talking to another guy,

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