Do you believe that a person finds the one or a relationship when they are not looking? How come when Im not looking I still have not found the one?

I have heard of the variation of this saying. Some say you find the one when you are doing the things you love in life. I have not been looking for years and now that I look back I just realized that I never found the one. Even when I was out having harmless fun with my friends


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just because you're not looking doesn't mean that the universe owes you a perfect boyfriend that will magically come into your life at the perfect place and time, will happen to be single and will happen to like you and everything will work out like a fairy tail. If you want "the one" you have to go find him! The world is full of people who never take action and just sit around and wait for things to happen because they have this messed up mindset that the world owes them something. Guess what? No one owes you anything. Successful people in happy relationships almost never get all of that by doing nothing, and if they do then they are the luckiest person alive. If I'm looking for a girl and I find one that I like, but she doesn't do anything because she's "waiting for the one" I'm going to leave her and move on with my life because I'm trying to be successful and I'm not wasting my time on another person who's waiting for the stars to align and everything to magically work for them. Chances are that "the one" will do the same thing because you never took action. He'll just walk on by and you'll never realize that he was the perfect guy for you because you never did anything about it. If you want something in life then go an get it! Because it's never going to be handed to you. The world doesn't care if you get a happily ever after life or not. That's your choice.

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    • I never felt that I was owed anything

      I actually do approach guys. The last guy who I approached we exchanged numbers and we talked over the phone and he ghosted me

    • Then keep looking. The right guy won't come to you so you have to go to him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • When I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone, a lot of guys showed interest in me but I told them that I was just not ready for a relationship. When I was looking for a relationship with a new person, I went all out. I put ads in craigslist etc, I said yes to anyone who was interested in dating me and very interested in getting to know them, mind you this getting to know tons of guys and having lots of dates doesn't mean that I did anything sexual with them. Most guys were not for me, I figured this after about a month or 2 of dating them. I would some times datae 2 to 3 guys at a time. I never told any of them we were exclusive and I never said I loved them so to me that was fine. I eventually found a guy and been in an exclusive relationship for a few years now. But to tell you that you shouldn't look, I would say no. You should be looking for someone to date if that's what you want.

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    • A lot of guys do show interest in me too but they are not attractive to me

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    • I would have never guessed that was her boyfriend. She is pretty and I'm not saying that he is unattractive but I thought that was just her friend lol

What Guys Said 2

  • Because it isn't your time

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    • Can you be more specific

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    • But I rarely go out of my house because I'm temporarily unemployed? Is the love of my life supposed to show up at my door?

    • He could be anywhere. The grocery, gas station and yes someone could knock on your door

  • I don't know. I have the same experience as you, which validates the fact that you don't meet the one always by not looking for them. Perhaps you have to look or continuing doing what you're doing till your time comes.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just have patience.. everything will come in the right time. for now just make new goals.. career or good grades (if you're still in school )

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