What is a tactful way to ask a man if he has issues with errectile dysfunction? A man a woman is dating so she isn't wasting her time?

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My friend is meeting these guys on dating websites, says they are nice but describes them as "tiny." They are all older gentlemen. It's awkward. I don't know what to tell her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • She can mention something about her sex drive and see how he responds. Or she can just have sex with them, before she wastes too much time dating them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like even if you did ask, a guy would lie about it. You likely wouldn't find out til you have sex

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    • That's true. Lot's of people can be dishonest about sexual things:(

    • Maybe she could mention that a good sex life is really important to her, that way if they have sexual problems they know to take the pill

    • I don't think she knows how to mention it.

What Guys Said 5

  • If all you care about is his erection, then you are wasting your time and his.

    The reason I say this is because marriages are "through sickness and in health". Suppose shortly after you got married, your husband is diagnosed with prostate cancer and has to get a prostatectomy leaving him impotent. Are you going to leave him now?

    Is that all you care about? What about that same man in your question? What if you have suddenly had to get a double mastectomy? Indeed, maybe some G@ger ought to ask this question:

    "What is a tactful way to ask a woman if she had a double mastectomy? A woman (that) a man is dating so he isn't wasting his time?"

    I'm sorry if it seems that I've gone ballistic here, but this is the sort of question that I'd expect from a teen or early 20-something, not a 45+ year old woman who should know to value people well beyond what's between their legs (or on their chest).

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    • If you are asking these questions for friends, show them this post. Yes, sex is important, but if it was gone does that mean the person should go too?

      ... and divorced/single middle-aged women wonder why they have a low probability of being (re) married...

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    • Marriage and relationships are the most serious and important thing in your life outside of raising your kids. You should be able to be a bit direct and make sure that you get what you want. At the same time, I understand. A guy with a fantastic hard-on might be turned off by such a direct question... thus, your original question.

      Again, I think her best bet is simply to gauge the physical health of the guy. If he's in very good shape, he likely still has a righteous boner. Of course, another issue with the older woman is lubrication, so such a guy might date younger for just that reason.

    • That's understandable :)

  • Lol #don'twastemytime

    Date 20 somethings and you never have to worry about it.

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    • That's what I told her but she said no.

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    • Either way it's a win-win for both of them, right?

    • That most men would think very little of her? I guess.

  • Mabe you can be his cure!

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    • Wish it worked like that! Lol.

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    • Tell her go for healthy looking guys or guys that workout, they may not have problems. As a young guy older women are hotttttttttt.

    • You're right! I told her the same thing!

  • Well onluly onw way to find out...

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    • She doesn't like that and she doesn't want to be mean about it.

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    • Some people are afraid of the truth. It makes them uncomfortable and makes them feel badly about themselves. I see it a lot. I'd rather just be forthright to create understanding for all but if offends if you don't go about it just right.

    • Yeah i agree.

  • Kind of odd to want to know that right away when she is in that age group , not sure how she would tactfully ask except online dating maybe, glad I don't have issues with that yet

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    • Ha! Wish I could introduce you two lol!

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    • Yeah it is surprising to me when I'm just about 50 with no issues like that and masturbate almost every day, maybe she needs to go after the ones that are bald on top, we seem to have the high testosterone still, I don't have a lot on top anymore😊

    • I'm going to mention that to her lol! Haha:)

What Girls Said 2

  • Why be tactile? I asked mine straight forward. He found it hilarious to be so blunt but i got my answer. No point beating around the bush

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    • That's a golden man with a fine sense of humor!

  • It's be "wasting your time" if the guy you date has ED... Wow

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    • I know that sounds mean but when you are much older and feeling frustrated, you may understand better.

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    • Yes, that makes the situation a lot different. I hope your friend finds a guy :)

    • Me too, one who matches her drive.

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