He's not ready to be official with me. Should I give him time?

I've been going out with a 23 yo guy for the past 3 months (about once/week) and we have not been physically intimate yet. I've come over his place and met his roommates a few times but we have not gone past first base and he hasn't tried to push for sex at all. We're both very busy with grad school so I was fine with the amount of communication we had. He used to only text me every few days to set up dates, and they usually involve doing things together like going to dinner or doing an activity. About a month ago, I asked if he'd like to be exclusive and he agreed. Since then, I told him I'd like to hear from him more often and he has made an effort to text or call me almost daily, mostly just check-ins. He's also expressed that he really likes me and he's looking for a long-term relationship.

However, our pace is still pretty stagnant and I don't sense that he's that into me. A few days ago, I approached the topic of becoming official and he said that he's not ready to call me his girlfriend yet even though he sees a potential for us to be together. He said he needs some time to think and figure it out, his only hesitation is that he won't be able to dedicate the time since he's busy with school. I find myself falling for him and I have a hard time deciding if I should give him time or if I should walk away now. I think if he was truly that into me, he'd make time. Being busy is just an excuse. What do you guys think?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Being busy is not an excuse, but he is right that it takes a lot of work and commitment to be in a relationship. You are already expecting him to put everything into this relationship already, and it isn't official. You're accusing of bull shitting now. His priority is his school and work. If you cannot be his second priority, then, I would suggest that you move on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Run. I know it is hard but if he is telling you that he is not ready to commit yet you guys have been dating for 3 months, you need to get out of this now. That is just an excuse for him, the same exact thing happened to me, this guy was talking to me every day, said he wanted a relationship at the beginning, took me on really nice dates and after a few months told me that he really likes me but "doesn't want a relationship yet" I told him that was fine, yet he still disappeared on me, completely went ghost.

    You deserve better than what this guy is doing, so my advice is ditch him now before he gets away with doing it to you.

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