So I've never had a girlfriend or been on a date, and I always here this phrase "put yourself out there more!" How does a guy do this? I do go to the gym nearly every day, and have a job, and occasionally go to group meetups for church related stuff. Should I just hold a sign in the middle of a crowd which says "date me, I'm single!" I don't understand what to do.
Just meeting girls isn't enough, "getting yourself out there" means getting to know them on a more personal level. You don't have to be a smooth talker or a mysterious bad boy, just genuinely interested in getting to know them. Really dig for those things that they value and hold dear to them and truly get to know them as a person. By getting to know someone on a deeper level and taking off their masks is how you start to develop feelings for another person, and vice versa. If you need some help with what kind of things to ask to get deeper conversations:
If you had to re-live 1 day every day for the rest of your life, what day would you choose? What is the most important person you have ever had in your life? What do you consider to be the biggest turning point in your life? Name 1 thing that makes you feel nostalgic. What do you bring most to a friendship? What makes you feel supported/cherrished/safe/loved/powerful? ( ask only 1 at a time ) How do you show your love to others? What is the biggest lie you tell yourself? What is your biggest fear and why? What lesson did your parents teach you that resonates the most with you today?
And other questions asking about why they made the decisions they did and why they like what they like
So when you go to church meet ups... do you actually chat to anyone of the opposite sex around your age group? If not that's not putting yourself out there is it?
To put yourself out there means you need to chat to females... can't expect them to come chat to you regardless of what a lot of girls are old fashioned so you got to strut your stuff towards them and talk to them! get yourself a hobby or something also...
I just start talking to people and then start flirting with them. That's all it takes. I'm an extrovert and social butterfly so it doesn't really take much for me to get to know people and sometimes get to know them as more than friends.
First, I don't think you understand what dos the phrase "put yourself out there" mean. This phrase mean that you need to get out of your house and meet new people. Obviously you will not get any girls if you only stay in your home.
Once you meet new people, remember to be open minded, be a good listener approachable, and friendly to other people (both guys and girls). You don't necessarily have to be an extrovert to put yourself out there. It will be bonus if you can start new topics that others can relate. For example, you do not want to suddenly talk about Jesus if the people around you do not care.
The sign thing is funny you should actually try it I'm serious! But if your not that brave just walk up to a girl introduce yourself ask for her name and talk to her as if your making a new friend. Later in the convo be playful about sex and that's it. If you get her to laugh she's yours. If not you'll have to keep trying for a while until you can gauge her interest in you.
Disclaimer:just because she laughs doesn't mean she's into you but it's 10000x better than not making her laugh. Be confident and make sure she and YOU are comfortable. Often times guys get so caught up in making her feel comfortable but if your nervous and anxious and awkward that energy is conductive. Excuse my poor grammar it's late and my hand hurts. Plus I write enough papers in college