Guys, what are your biggest challenges and complaints with online dating?

I asked a version about women's challenges with online dating:

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/dating/q1853825-ladies-what-are-your-dislikes-challenges-with-online-dating

So now I'm asking the guys now. What are your biggest complaints with online dating? Answer in as much detail as you wish. #PleaseAndThankYou


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Getting rejected constantly offline is bad enough, but when you've sent over a thousand messages in a few months and have maybe a couple of conversions but still no dates, that's soul crushing. I've had a few people tell me that Maryland is the absolute worst place they've ever been when it comes to trying to meet women.

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What Girls Said 4

  • When white males message me they always ask if I'm into white dudes, I get it ok a black female but it gets so annoying!!!

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  • People that lie on their profile

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  • Guys I've met online say they get irritated that a lot of chicks are heavier than their pics show.

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    • Truth be told, I don't mind a little bit of thickness but when a girl takes very misleading pictures and ends up having a double chin, very big cheeks, rolls, or a massive gut then I do find it as a turnoff. I just don't see the point in using misleading pictures. You won't be able to hide it in person. I mean that goes for guys too when they hide their height, baldness, etc.

  • I can't find anyone that I'm attracted to

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    • hun there's thousands to millions of guys online I don't think its them its probably you

    • @skeptic007 thank for your univited and uninsightful rubbish

What Guys Said 27

  • It is literally a female utopia meat market where being mildly attractive means you can pick and choose a person who is miles out of your league based solely off of the fact that you have a vagina.

    Whereas, being a man, you have to be an 8/10 in order to be deemed "worthy" of the average 4 or 5 /10 female. Putting up with the "if you can't handle me at my worst", "I'm high maintenance but I'm worth it", and "I'm not like other girls" is just part of what you have to go through. Plus, you know that 70% of the photos are going to intentionally we be extreme close up shots to hide their lying about being "fit" or "skinny".

    This photo summarizes all online dating in a nutshell:
    http://i.imgur.com/YXf4DgQ.jpg

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    • I don't know if i'd call it female utopia... I've heard stories from girls about pretty psychotic guys they met up with that seemed normal when they were messaging... not that the girls always sane on sites and apps but yeah...

  • Most girls are extremely shallow, conceited, and stuck up. They suck at conversations too.
    That's why I don't use online dating when looking for a girlfriend, cause most girls aren't girlfriend material. You need to go through hundreds of girls to find one that's decent.

    Another complaint is that girls never message first, which sucks given how this whole online thing goes about. Girls receive hundreds of messages each week, 90% of guys they won't even consider. Isn't it easier for everyone if they at least messaged those they like? Nah, they got too big of an ego... there, add that to the list too. But how can I blame them, when most guys put them on such a pedestal they'd die if they fall from it.

    Online dating is just for sex, man. You meet her, deal with her bullshit, fuck her, and get out of there, and never talk to her again.

    Just to make this clear for all the dumb people out there, this is a generalization based on the majority of women you find in online dating, it does NOT apply to women who don't use it, ok? Just clearing it out for those who'll think I'm talking about the female gender in general.

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    • Very well put mate. I agree 100%

    • Is that really what online dating sites are? I thought there was an actual point to their existence? But what do I know I've never used one before and don't plan on it.

  • I think the biggest challenge for men, is the skewed male-female ratio on most dating sites. There are a lot more men than women on such sites, so we men need to REALLY stand out to hope for responses from women.

    In other words, the competition for men is much tougher with online dating, compared to in-person dating.

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    • Too bad so many people are lazy, moving their feet to face rejections face-to-face

  • -low response rates
    -of those that do respond, many don't try to carry on a conversation - it's usually up to the guy to do that
    -profiles that aren't very detailed and/or are generic which makes it harder to initiate and carry on conversations

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    • Yeah those are very common. I feel that it puts pressure on me when a girl expects me to carry the conversation entirely with her putting no effort in at all.

      I've seen some who don't do anything and even if I'm attempting conversation while they aren't, they give me weird looks or claim im boring when there's an awkward silence. The irony is too thick.

      That's like a girl or guy who puts no effort into sex and just sits there and talks about how shitty their partner is.

  • Biggest challenge: getting a woman to respond.

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  • when i was online dating the biggest challenge i found was truly being able to convey my personality to the person through messages and online profiles.

    i felt like my profile conveyed the message that i was overly conservative or dull, but i preferred that to sounding like i was some wild child. in fact my personality is varied. I can be quiet, reserved, introspective but also outgoing, unpredictable, spontaneous etc.

    i just found it difficult to truly convey my full personality online

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  • Challenge: Getting them to respond your messages.

    Complaint: Scams, lots of fake profiles.

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  • If you talking about tinder

    1) Chicks who filter so hard that they don't even look like their pic irl, It have happened like twice to me. They look nothing like their pic

    2) Most of them are psychos Tbh lol IIdk if its only my location in Alabama but most chicks there are total nutcases

    3) They are so desperate and depressed for relationships lol

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  • Maybe im unfit to really answer this question since I never been a part of a dating site, but I still had 3 relationships which started online anyway. Not much to complain about really, other than perhaps you are sort of an amusement box, there to entertain in many ways. Which can be just sad sometimes in itself. What I dislike the most when it comes to the opposit sex though, is how they will spend like months trying to get under your skin and they may say all these sweet things that they dont really mean. You can easily meet many who dosent have any idea who they really are nor what they want, but this goes for life in general anyway, but dont fall for easy flatter. Cause I do think many are just looking for a kick sort of no doubt. Bored wives or girlfriends an so on.

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  • -girls who like your profile first, who you have a huge number of compatible interests with, and yet don't respond when you message them.
    -girls who start their profile off with an angry rant demanding no douchebags/PUAs/etc message them.
    -the ever popular 'what the hell is an average body type anyway' gripe
    -claiming to just want new friends when their profile has been set to 'dating, long term'
    -Macchu Picchu and drugged tigers (Tinder users will know what I mean)
    -profiles that give you absolutely no insight on how to start a conversation or what about
    -long, pretentious book/movie/music lists
    -answering your non-yes-or-no questions with a yes or no

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    • Agreed though what do you mean by pretentious music, book, movie lists? I think having a long list of those is better than none at all or if a person just has music, movies, or books listed as their interest.

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    • Yeah I know what you mean. I won't lie, my list of bands I like used to be really long but I shortened it. It wasn't a page long though haha. That being said, I'd rather have a girl list particular artists as opposed to just listing music as an interest or just movies. I do say something similar to wow you like (insert band) but I ask if they have seen them live or what their favorite album is. I don't think that's bad. Definitely better than being turned off by a certain band they like as if it's a deal breaker.

    • @bloodmountain1990 I tend to save the music/movies/books/TV thing until we're actually hanging out, so we can share those things with each other. My girlfriend and I have shared a lot of new things with each other and enjoyed them or at the very least tried them on the strength of the other's recommendation.

      As the song goes, "I never should have said, the books that you read, were all that I loved you for."

  • The over inflated sense of entitlement. I don't want to believe in the whole 'league' thing but there's not better way to put it when you have 3/10's expecting 7/10's

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  • I've used them extensively and have had quite a bit of 'success' as far as getting dates and even relationships with a few girls. I'll share what made me successful and the frustrations from that.

    I post pictures of me doing things I like, as well as a few that clearly show me. All pictures within 6 months. I state in my profile 'i don't usually send a message first, so if you are interested in chatting with me; either send me an email OR a wink'. Most girls do not send messages first but they will wink. From that I email them and my response rate is about 90%+. I rarely browse profiles myself, I just wait for winks every now and then.

    Frustrations:

    -many women are terrible at having conversation through email. I give up on these ones pay

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    • Submitted too early

      - a lot of girls just date to get attention
      - a lot of girls are very very quick to judge when meeting
      - some women aren't completely honest with you at first and don't come clean until later

  • Girls who don't respond at all, which is most of the time. I appreciate those who at least send a brief message saying I'm not their type or whatever.

    I would much prefer to meet in person, but my work is 85% male and I rarely meet women in the real world.

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  • My biggest challenge with it is that it's overly competitive, meaning that you have to multi date because the person you're seeing/dating is seeing/talking to others as well. It can be hard to find a relationship in that case.

    My other issues are that a lot of women use misleading pictures which can be awkward if you meet them and end up having no physical attraction at all. It can also be very difficult to initiate conversation with women that have very vague/bland profiles that just say they like food, movies, walking, being outside or worst of all, just ask. *rolls eyes*

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    • Oh yeah I'd also like to add that there's a lot of attention whores on there. There have been many times where I'd talk to a girl for a week or so and then when I'd ask them out, they're like maybe, I'm kinda skeptical of meeting guys online or I'm not looking to date. It's like why are you even responding then. Then there'd be those who do agree to a date but then just disappear out of the blue. It's like well why the fuck are you talking to me then?

  • Thanks for the question--i'd say it presents an extra step of having to get them comfortable for a meet/figure out if they have no intention of meeting up and just want someone to text with. the price you pay for a softer rejection is paid for in time wasted

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  • Cool question. I haven't really been having any. I've been getting a lot of interests from others. I wish there was more interation through the sites though. Like relationship games or like dumb psychology things you can do with one another. Just more fun stuff rather than just the same old. Pic. Like. Email.

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  • Most the issues men face in online dating have been posted by other men here already. Online dating, for men, is a total crap shoot! I've heard some people have success with it but finding a good woman online is like hunting and catching a unicorn.

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  • I really have no complaints at all. I use tinder frequently. If you have something to offer that makes you a step above everyone else then you are practically in for easy hookups. I lift a lot.. I'm a bodybuilder. I post half naked pics on my tinder account and get easy matches all the time. I would imagine the biggest complaint would be girls not wanting anything serious.. Or ugly women.. I don't know.

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  • I hate that there are so many girls who describe themselves as being grounded and level-headed, and yet when they show up they're bat shit crazy.

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  • Catfish, fuckin hate em👎🏽

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  • The ladies don't message back... But then again that's because I don't use online dating lol.

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  • That it has too many ugly people in it plus you know its a scam if you have to pay for it.

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  • We have a lot more competition, women have a lot less competition.

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  • I rather die alone than to make an account on a dating site

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  • All of it. Every aspect. So much easier meeting people in person I just hardly have the time :(

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  • Probably that people pretend to be someone they are not.

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  • women think there better than men
    I don't blame them they where raised that way

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