Is it wrong to deny my boyfriend sex once in a while?

Me and my man have been dating for 2 months. We just made it official last week. Last night we had sex for the first time. Tonight he wants to have sex again, but I'm leaving town early tomorrow for a job, and I wanted to focus on that and get some sleep. I'll be gone for 5 days.

Is it wrong to deny my boyfriend sex before I leave town? Or should he understand my reason for not wanting to?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are wrong.

    He probably understands your reason, but that shouldn't have stopped him. You're still wrong. Very wrong.

    You are forgetting that he is going to be without anyone to be intimate with because YOU have to be away. It's not his fault.

    But more importantly than that, not having a ton of sex before a business trip is one of the dumbest things any woman can do for their relationship. Just because he promised you that he won't be sleeping with somebody else doesn't mean his biological urges will simply disappear. Leaving him high alone like this is just flirting with disaster. Sure, he'll try to do his best, and he'll probably keep it in his pants this time, but over time, eventually a perfect combo of temptation is going to fall on his lap.

    And the thing is, you didn't need to make things harder for him. Just fuck him before you take your trips, fuck him well, and then things will be easier for him, and it'll be easier for you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i personally always want to give my guy a good romp before he goes away on business. So he can have a good memory while we're apart. Hopefully your guy understands it's not a punishment as "deny" often represents but rather you just setting your priorities. if he is bumbed out, you can always promise to make it up to him upon your return with something special.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Of course not, you don't really even need a reason. You can have sex with a person 100 times, that doesn't mean you are obligated to do it any more. It takes at least two willing people in order to be sex. Otherwise it is rape. If you don't want to for whatever reason, don't do it. If he doesn't respect that, find a better boyfriend.

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  • sex doesn't have to talk that long lol, just bang the poor fella and go get your sleep

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  • It's alright.
    Just be alright if/when he does the same.

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  • Can't you have a quickie and head back to your place?

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  • So he TALKS you into having sex, ya? What a beta male...

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    • No promise dude, today is today, tommorrow is tomorrow. You gonna treat me good and respected in order to have the next ''meal''

  • fuck in the morning.

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  • No, its shouldn't be an obligation. He might miss it though...

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  • If you don't want sex you don't want sex

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  • You're worrying about this already? Just go with the flow. Don't you like sex?

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  • Sex as a weapon. What could possibly go wrong?

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    • Lol leaving for 5 days without a goodbye shag? I'd bounce

  • Once in a while you can do it. In this special case it is a little bit curious, because you have had your first sex the day ago. Are you not eager to come again, and again... or is it a very special, important meeting you have tomorrow?

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  • It's kind of wrong if you are going to be gone for five days. If it was just skipping a night because you had to be up early for a one day trip there would be no real problem. Maybe you can compromise and give him a really good BJ.

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  • Why not having a 10 minutes quickie?

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  • Do you think the sex will take like, 12 hours? I mean jesus christ

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  • There's no universal answer on this.

    I'd understand that for you, squeezing in a quickie is a lower priority then everything else you're doing before leaving for 5 days. How people feel about that depends on how they prioritize things.

    For many of us with moderately high drives, you cannot cut out sex from your life to save time. You're going to have sex or you're going to masturbate, but the 'neither' option is reserved for pretty extreme situations.

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  • ye he should just take it from u

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  • If your going to be gone that long wouldn't it be nice to have sex before you go instead of him waiting even longer?

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What Girls Said 12

  • Well how long does it take to have a shag? In fact wouldn't you sleep better after a session? In the end it's up to you whether you want to have sex or not and, yes, he should understand your reasons for saying no.

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  • It's not wrong to deny having sex with your boyfriend. What's fundamentally an issue (not necessarily WRONG) is when you have a sexless relationship, but if you don't feel like you want to, at no point are you obligated to.

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  • You never have to have sex with him if your not in the mood or just don't feel like it. Do not let him pressure you.

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  • That seems understandable. Don't feel bad. Your sex life just started and 5 days is not a big deal at all.

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  • No, that's fine. If you're not in the mood he can wait for another opportunity or take care of himself.

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  • Sex, or packing... hmmm... yeah I ( I mean him) would be packing it in, if ya know what I mean :P

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  • shame, no man... dont deny him sex. give it to him, and make him crave you for the next 5 days!

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  • I think a good man would understand and only want you more for being focused. Besides absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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  • Absolutely not!

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  • If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood.

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  • Hell no.

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  • Focusing on that and getting some rest before your journey is not wrong. I hope he understands. You two can have sex when you return.

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