Why do women think the average guy is unappealing?

I read that 80% of men on a dating site were rated below average. What's the point in even trying with those kinds of numbers?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of guys need to take better dating site pics. So many are more unflattering, feature him scowling, too dark, etc. Many use webcam, which takes pics that make people look like anti social aliens...

    I met a guy from online once who was pretty dorky, short, slightly overweight, and fairly average in the face who told me when he spiced up his profile pics, he was lining up a few dates a week vs not having any when using a generic selfie.

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    • What kind of pictures work best?

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    • It's just so hilarious and sad how some girls just put up 6 shots all of them from the neck up. Do they actually think these are good pics or are they just trolling lol?

    • I think some are deluded that once a guy gets to know her, he'll be ok with it. Advice I've read says always include full body shot and at least one photo that doesn't hide a more unflattering feature you may have (big nose, balding, weight, etc). I mean, not to use your worst pic ever, but don't run from it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • "Why do women think the average guy is unappealing?" Because the average guy isn't packing any #EyeCandy maybe? I mean just look around you in public where your/the average guy has a

    bad body
    average face
    can't dress
    bad hairstyle etc.

    So yeah I can see why girls don't "lust" over them now.

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    • I can't really be objective on most of that but I do dress nice.

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    • #Asker I just saw the #Link with the girl in it. And yeah who didn't see that coming? They always overrated females on here or lie to them to protect their feelings. But the same rules don't apply to most guys who ask HDIL questions -_-

What Girls Said 5

  • You can't compare a dating website with the real world. Obviously on a dating site you only have so much to work with in terms of determining attraction and people could look worse on photos than they do in person too.

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  • That's why you gotta have a personality and other things going for you than just looks. If you're average you clearly can't rely on just looks.

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  • Girls say they want above average boys to make there friends jealous, I would be surprised if those girls were actually liking for someone they liked.

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  • It's annoying when people take dating site statistics as real life, it's nowhere near the same. Everybody knows there are much more "below average" men on dating sites or men with issues.

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  • That's just a dating site and doesn't apply to the rest of the world. There might still be a probable chance of someone actually liking the guy (or a guy liking a below average girl).

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    • Nobody wants to date me in real life, I've never been on a dating site.

    • It's like a science experiment... if what you are doing isn't working, change up a variable. Maybe change your hairstyle, clothing a bit, or something and see if it improves at all.

    • What if you lost your hair to a condition at 18 and attractive girls show revulsion to you? What can you do then?

      Non sarcastic here I want to know, and don't even suggest settle or lower standards-I'd bite the bullet before I'd do that

What Guys Said 17

  • The argument that guys are the problem here doesn't really hold water. In any marketplace, there is no objective reality, only what the market will bear. If 'average' were a dealbreaker in market behavior, no one would buy Toyota Camrys. As it is, they're the best-selling cars, and the reason is that most people are average buyers. While they may *prefer* to have a BMW, they know that their resources do not afford such a choice.

    In the dating market, most women are average buyers, so they should eventually understand their position and make a rational choice. This isn't what's happening, though. Women are essentially saying that if they don't have the market power to buy a luxury brand, they will do without a car. That's not a rational choice, given the detriment caused by abstention from participating in the market.

    This is increasingly the case in the most developed nations. Go investigate what's happening in the dating world in Japan. Relatively few young people are pursuing relationships and having sex. It's a totally irrational situation, given our biological drive to mate.

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    • Yes, this is what I don't understand. Why is it that girls ignore the market reality (i. e. what they can actually get vs. what they want) at the risk of being totally left out? When I was fat, even fat girls didn't really want anything to do with me. It's not that I would've expected them to fall at my feet, but reality should tell them (as it did me) that fat guys are their expected matches. But that isn't happening. What you have are fat and average girls thinking that they stand a good chance of doing better than fat and average guys, and that's a very illogical thought process.

    • @BigJake but guys are the shallow ones amirite?

    • @Asker Well, if I know one thing about women, it's that they don't like to have their noses rubbed in their own reality.

  • it's still worth trying because all it takes is 1 girl out of the many women on this earth. plus it's not like the entire world entered that poll, just the ones on said dating site.

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  • Well, I will say that there are a lot of guys out there who seem to be extraordinarily clueless with women, like so clueless they just lack basic common sense.

    I see guys doing things all the time doing things that are meant to impress other guys more than girls. Like guys with these crazy Al Qaeda beards. No girl is attracted to a fat hipster with poorly groomed facial hair. These guys have to follow the trend, even though the trend gets them even further away from catching a girl's interest.

    Same with the way guys dress. Girls pay tons of attention to a guy's clothes. Dressing well is a great way to catch a girl's eye even if you're not naturally attractive. Yet I see guys walking around my college campus wearing food-stained t-shirts with snarky sayings, crack-baring shorts, and flip flops. What girl is going to be attracted to that?

    So yeah, too many guys are their own worst enemies when it comes to this stuff. That said, women can be pretty damn picky. But one must remember that when you aren't meeting people in person you're only giving them an image of yourself to hook them. Girls are going to get pretty dismissive when all they've got to go on is a tiny pic of some guy's fat, bearded face.

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    • I'm not talking about guys like that. Normal looking guys are dismissed as well. It seems like you need to be at least an 8 to get any attention. Maybe a 7 if you dress nice.

    • Yeah, but again, a lot of average guys are doing things more to impress other guys than for themselves. But the big issue with being average is that online dating only works for photogenic guys. I'm a big guy, and girls are attracted to my height and size when they meet me in person. In online dating, though, girls can't see those features. So in online dating, I'll lose out every time to the perfect-looking guys who have headshots posted on their profiles.

      But I agree with you, girls are too picky, way too picky. My issue with them is that average girls are turning up their noses at average guys. That is hard for me to figure out.

    • Exactly, it's ridiculous.

  • Don't consider yourself "average". If you think you're average, the first issue you need to deal with is your lack of (and I use this term carefully because it's misused most of the time) self-esteem.

    The way I've always looked at making my profile on a dating site is more like a way to take stock in who I am first. If you really want to make a good profile you need to be honest with yourself and also a bit vulnerable. From my experience, a good mixture of those two things is what people tend to appreciate. It also makes it stand out a lot more than other profiles.

    You are unique. Figure out what makes you different and show it!

    Hope that helps :)

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    • There's nothing wrong with seeing yourself as average. Being confident doesn't mean you have to deny reality. I'm no male model and I know it, that doesn't mean I am insecure it means that I have an accurate grasp on reality. Seeing yourself as pure greatness doesn't make others see you that way.

    • I agree with the part about seeing yourself as pure greatness. I do think that if you see yourself as "average" you won't appeal to to many people, especially on a dating site.

      It's one thing to think that you are more than other people. It's another to think that you are less than other people. Neither one of those are my point at all. I'm not suggesting that you weigh yourself against anybody else. I merely saying that you are unique and it's best to understand what makes you unique then accentuate it.

  • That's why dating sites don't work for men, unless they're in the top 20%. In-person dating is vastly different, or so I have heard.

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    • I haven't experienced that.

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    • How many girls have you asked out? And did they ALL reject you? Also, count out those who were already taken, because they couldn't have accepted you anyway.

    • I'd say maybe 25. Every single one turned me down. I can't count the number that were taken because almost all of them said they were taken. It's the go to excuse for women to turn down guys.

  • If the situation was reversed and you were being pursued by innumerable girls, you would likely develop the same attitude and become extremely picky.

    Don’t get discouraged, keep trying.

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    • So what you're saying is they are spoiled?

    • Spoiled for choice, yes. It's commonly known that there's many more guys on dating sites than girls.

  • They want above average guys to have an above average lifestyle with and make above average babies with.

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    • Everyone wants above average. That doesn't mean you should snub average.

  • You're using information from a dating site, so I wouldn't concern myself with any of that noise if I weren't you.

    You've gotta remember that serial online daters are kind of their own unique subset. They don't accurately represent the larger population.

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  • Interesting I'd love to see the source it would be interesting to see what else they found. Well on a dating I think women like men expect to find grade-A material so they set the bar really high.

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    • I think it was OK cupid or something like that. You can Google it.

    • Interesting a related argument stated that on OK cupid the rating feature says who you do and do not want to talk to rather then who is above or below average. 1-2 is "hide" and "4-5" means that person will be notified

    • here is the source for most of these observations: blog.okcupid.com/.../

  • Multiple reasons.
    -Women's main priority is now how you look so when that' all they have to go by they are moke picky.
    -Unlike women, most guys suck at picking pictues and looking their best in them.
    -Lots of good looking guys won't need online dating.

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  • Because they're women. Women are hardwired to only go for the top 20% of men, anything below that is "ugly".

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  • An average guy, does not wear makeup and doesn't use Photoshop to modify pics.

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  • You have to play to win, even if the chances are slim. Also, there are other factors besides looks that have to be taken into consideration.

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  • Thats why those women are alone. Lets face it if your on a dating site your below average anyway so fuck it

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  • I think the guys in dating site should take a crash course on photography for at least a week.

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  • There's an old mytake on this kicking around:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8397-do-women-only-find-20-of-men-attractive

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  • Because it's in their DNA to only mate with the best of the best.

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