How important is space in a relationship?

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? I feel like if I spend more than 3 days in a row with my girlfriend I start to get antsy and wanna just be alone, but she always wants to see me, why doesn't she feel
this way. How much space should be normal for a 4 month old relationship, and she's 29 and seems clingy for that age or am i wrong?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get the same way. I'm an introvert so I value my alone time.

    If both people have their own lives going on and places to be, then that will make spending time with the other person much more appreciated than spending 24/7 with each other. A few times a week sounds normal.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Space was always important to me and I've felt that many times. You pretty much lose it outright though, once you live together, get married, etc.

    Some of the desire for space can go away if you start developing a very open line of communication, sharing your deepest secrets, connecting on a level where you two can start to anticipate each other's needs and desires without speaking a word.

    A lot of time that desire to be alone is kind of an escape, like "she couldn't possibly understand my need to do this", and that temptation to escape diminishes the more you grow her understanding by communicating very openly with her.

    That said, us guys always need some space now and then.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Space is a nice time to re-energise. It's nice to have space in general. Spending a lot of time (24/7) can be exhausting, so finding time away can always be benefical. I offered that idea to my boyfriend, but he refused it early on in our relationship.. Now he thinks it's a good idea and loves it.

    Maybe your girlfriend is in the honey moon stage still. She'll realise it later on

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  • It took me a while to learn it but I think guys want/need more alone time than girls.

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  • I love when i have my space.
    I love being with people and especially with someone i like but i still need my space
    Everyone needs

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  • at that age she must be afraid to lose you and she doesn't want to make any mistakes and wants you... guys honestly do need more time alone than girls, don't take it personally she probably just doesn't want to lose you - good luck xox

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  • By that age she's probably scared about not having chances with relationships, so I think it's normal for her to be clingy. However, I agree with you and I think everyone needs space. You should spend about 2-3 days a week with her, sporadically. Just a date here and there, maybe a lunch, a movie or just staying at home and cooking if you like that.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Yeah, space is certainly important for me. I do need my alone time, even when I am in a relationship.

    I guess you're girlfriend is being clingy, but you can try talking it out with her.

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  • Honestly, i don't seem to value space like other people do. I just hate being alone, and i think you should spend almost all of your time with the person you're supposed to be committed to. Maybe I'll want a little alone time every once in a while, but i can't see it happening very often.

    But i guess it really just depends on the person.

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  • I question the same thing. I'm the one who's always like to my girlfriend let's do something and she always says yes. You both need your space. If either you or her wanted space then talk about it. It's common for people like you to feel like that.

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  • Communicate thy will to your woman. Are you afraid it would "ruin" something? No, woman needs to know what's up. Break her out of her fairy tale.

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  • It seems to vary from person to person, so you would need to tell each other personally.

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  • watch brooklyn

    or jane eyre

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