Do looks still matter in a 3 year relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe they matter less, but people shouldn't be careless at all. Attraction plays an important role and it should always be kept within the possibilities.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • of course they do.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I'd say so. If my wife turned into a total slob and just let herself go, I'd be rather disappointed and might find it very difficult to get aroused by her. I'm sure she would do the same if I just started getting really fat and developed a beer belly.

    Over very long-term relationships, you get really used to your partner's body. A lot of the excitement of seeing them naked goes away. Yet when she puts on her best dress, carries herself well, that's one of the few things I think that kind of still reinvigorates that sexual interest.

    Someone mentioned pregnancy and if my wife got pregnant and her belly swelled up, probably I'd consider that an exception and probably find her more beautiful, the mother of my kids, feelings swelling up again. But pregnant women are beautiful to me, they're not fat. They tend to kind of radiate, and there's all those fresh feelings connected to protecting this woman carrying your child.

    But that's a bit different from turning into a slob and letting yourself go. If my wife got super fat sitting around the couch, it'd be incredibly unattractive to me. I'd probably still love her, but our sex life might go to near zilch, and my eyes might wander more towards other woman.

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    • I think, in some sense, looks matter more over the long term, because "looks" means the woman is kind of taking care of herself. Earlier in a relationship, you kind of love her even without her looking her best, since you're so blinded by the most passionate form of love. Later you kind of get less blinded, and just the effort of the woman dressing nicely, putting on lingerie, something like this -- it helps perhaps even more than than earlier in a relationship, when you might even like her at her worst when she's not even trying.

  • To me when I enter a relationship, looks; body shape; type etc I've left light years away. Passage of time is immaterial to the relationship.

    However, the only thing that can really get to me is being mind fucked :) If she does that especially based out of insecurity etc then she can be the most beautiful girl in the universe with the best body but I'll quit in a jiffy :)

    I've been on for almost 9 years now and nothing ever diminished only increased. It's just that her insecurity and related actions that condescend & disparage me is getting to me and even though I feel the same way; my logical side may take over any moment :)

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  • For me, Although its been more than five years of marriage and she has given birth (picked up weight) recently i love her more than ever.

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  • It shouldn't matter in ANY year relationship. If it does matter, then the person in question is superficial.

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  • I'm pretty sure I'm in a relationship with someone with more than just her looks, but as long as she doesn't let herself go too much, I'd still love her. Looks do matter in a relationship and you're suppose to still want to look your best for one another and when you stopped caring about your looks, it means the relationship lost it's spark and whatnot

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  • Depends on the individual I guess.

    Looks matter in the sense of me getting attracted to you, it's like how in the workplace, the resume just gets you the interview, the rest is on you.

    If I was dating a girl for 3 years and her looks are starting to decline, at this point, her looks wouldn't be my top priority but rather how much time we spent together and usually all the struggles we've been through so, it doesn't become a matter of looks anymore. I would hate if the looks declined to the level of repulsive though.

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  • Hmmm. That'd be partially true. I'd be somewhat worried if my partner isn't keeping up hygiene at least. There is no excuse if they gain 40kg after a three year relationship. They've to at least take care of their own body. Otherwise they're just getting lazy. And that is a bad sign.

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  • Eh, depends. Some, if not most, would probably say no. But honestly, there's nothing wrong with maintaining looks. Me personally, yes they still matter but I'm not so deluded into thinking someone has to look exactly the same, youth fades with time but they can still look good regardless.

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  • of course looks always matter , once you let yourself go he will look the other direction

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  • Yup.

    Studies suggest men care more, not less, about looks in a long term relationship. (women care more in a hookup).

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  • Yes.

    It is ALWAYS your responsibility to make sure you stay reasonably attractive for your partner. This goes for both men and women.

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  • looks always matter.

    we just get blinder as we age.

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  • YES IF YOUR NOT PERFECT YOU DON'T DESERVE LOVE.

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  • Uh, well... yeah. Sry

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  • YES, of course they do.

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  • I can't see why they wouldn't matter

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  • Looks always matters trust me.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I've been with my man for 16 years, and, yes. Hell to the yes. They matter just as much as ever.
    Granted, I am a vain shallow oversexed visual bitch. (:

    Like most things, though, this isn't gna have a one-size-fits-all answer.
    Some people like to, um, "get comfortable" once they're settled into a long-term relationship. Where "getting comfortable" involves lots of comfort food, with all the weight gain that ensues therefrom. At an extreme, if these people got themselves back into tip-top shape, that'd be more of a warning sign than anything else.

    You really just have to know yr partner.

    Just totally letting yrself go, though, is ALWAYS a huge big red flag.

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  • I would say yes, when I was in 3 year relationships I still made an effort with my look and I expected them too, of course we could be comfy around each other, but I know initially what I looked like when we started and there's no reason to stop putting in effort just because you've been together for a while.

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  • I don't think people should just let themselves go just because they are in a relationship. People should take just as much care and concern for how they present themselves as they did when they first met. I am not saying that either person has to have super model good looks or anything, but at least put forth effort to be presentable. Don't think it is okay to sit around in pajamas or sweat pants all the time just because you feel comfortable that way. You should want to look nice, not only for your partner, but for yourself.

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  • If your talking about looks as in letting yourself go. Yes that still matters. You shouldn't become lazy about your health just because your dating someone. So keep working out and keeping your body in good shape.

    Make up doesn't matter anymore in a 3 year relationship.

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  • Looks most certainly matter in my 7 year relationship. I have never let myself go, and i am always trying to improve myself. afterall, any guy loves having a lady others want to look at too!
    My fiance on the other hand has let himself go quite a bit, and doesn't put much effort into getting back into shape, even though I have told him i no longer find him as sexy as I did. i know find myself looking at other guys. its just looks, but it def does matter!

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    • Huh... You've told him that explicitly, and, still no effort? That doesn't sound good. If there are deeper underlying issues (e. g., depression), I hope he can get some help. If there aren't, it sounds like he needs to get his shit together.

      I mean, obviously this little blurb is not a complete description of yr relationship, but you've made this sound pretty one-sided. Girl I hope the whole thing isn't the same way.

  • it doesn't matter much , your man may say it's okay baby ur messy oily hair doesn't bother me , u r still pretty.. etc , but personally i would advise u to never let urself go , it will make him more happy if u take care of urself and be clean FOR HIM , a guy may find other women more attractive if he finds u like his buddy in ur looks if u know what i mean ^^

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  • Well i guess it does a little bit bc if ur not attracted to that person's appearance then you may not be attracted to them anymore.. it really just depends

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  • I believe looks matter.
    I don't want my boyfriend to care less on his appearance after being for years in relationship.

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  • You want to keep your man/woman keep up with what you got when you met them is all im going to say.. unless obviously its age related.. you're not going to be 89 with a 23 year old body... but literally the way you act and look when you met is usually what keeps them around unless you can get better some how.

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  • I think so. At that point you've seen each other in every state but you still have to keep yourself up!

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  • Looks still matter in my 15 year relationship.

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  • Yes, looks always matter.

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  • love your question!!!

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  • Yes, looks matter in any sort of relationship.

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