What should I do everytime my boyfriend brings up my past like anything and leaves me on hanging?

Okay um long story short. I am geniunly a good person. I have a very horrible past. The only person whome was with me was my bestfriend through every situation that happend. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who happens to be my ex now. Okay so i was datin him and it was long distance. I tried workin it out. As usual i try. He wouldn't be there for me, nor would call or try talkin like girlfriend and boyfriend do. He would say hurtful things like i dont love you the way i used to etc we stil managed to.. Well me.. I was crazy. I was with him for almost 2 years.. hoe can i not be. I shouldbt had some sense that he was not worth for me. So i met my bestfriend at college where i joined an yr ago. He and i used to be friends in high school as well. We met after years and i do share my stories with him as he listens to me more than my boyfriend does. I do have a messed up family life as well. So yea and he is there for me always. I opened up way too much because i felt like he needed to know everything about me. I kept it to myself since and i feel beyond horrible. I told him im not a virgin. I lost it to my boyfriend whome i regret it everday. and few days later my bestfriend and i were together as friende hangin out amd he tells me that he has been fallin in love with me and it went like that and i ended up kissin him. At that time my boyfriend broke. up with me and i dont know the kiss happend i was fallin to him as well and it was evem his first kiss. And few weeks later bestfriend and i have sex and after that of few weeks he asked me out to date him and i rejected the first time because i recently got out of a rel and the ex kept comin back and it was such an headache i didmt know what to do. And i did not go back to my ex and yes stil bestfriend and i werent in a rel and kept on havin sex and bein sexual. I did have feelimgs for him. to make this short. I wasted total 10 months not bein in a rel and bein physical like that both of us. we argue time


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