How can I make myself like black women?

Basically, as a black man, I know they're the only women that could find me attractive. Now, some background as to how I wound up here. See, for the past, let's see, I'm about to be 18, so, 12 years of my life, I've lived in shitty ghettos. So, most of the black girls I've actually seen have been loud, obnoxious, ignorant, or obese, very, very, obese. Now, before you jump on me and say not all black women are like that, no shit, I know that, my family isn't like that, I've seen some very attractive black girls, these are just the girls I've always lived around and I'm just nothing like them, hell, I barely even look black. Second, I'm starting to come to the realization that my obsession with getting a white girl to like me most likely stems from me having never gotten over the first real, meaningful rejection I ever received from a friend of mine. I realized that when I not only compared every girl after her to her, whether consciously or unconsciously, but I'd also go for girls that look somewhat like her, or try and top it with better looking girls. And I didn't give a shit about any of those girls. I feel that a part of it has been trying to escape my own feelings of inferiority, especially stemming from my race, hence why I've mostly gone after white girls, after all, if the only rejection I've cared about was from a white girl, I need to prove her wrong. And I need to prove all the others to reject me afterwards wrong. And I need to prove my superiority to them. Plus, because of my high school, most, if not virtually all of the girls I do know are white or Asian, which has also managed to destroy both my sanity and self esteem. So, yeah, how do I become attracted to them? It's just, even discounting that most are, like, overweight, I generally don't find the ones with broad noses very attractive, though, neither does my father, so...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Not only black women can find you attractive. So get that out of your head. There are white, Asian, and many other women of races that could and do find black men as equally attractive as a white or any other kind of race man.
    2. Many black women are gorgeous looking! Like seriously! That skin!!
    3. Be you! It may sound cliche but it's the best weapon you have. Even if you are extremely attractive ( like Will Smith for me) if you don't have the brains and the character to go with it, you won't get any woman.
    4. Nevertheless, though you don't have to force yourself to like a specific kind or race of women.
    Hope I helped :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly bro, use some paragraphs. reading this really is difficult.

    Anyway, you shouldn't focus on a particular ethnicity of women, but a particular personality you look for. There are great women out there and why would you care what ethnicity they have if you find them attractive nonetheless?

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    • For me, what differentiates a friend from a girlfriend is whether I find her sexually appealing

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    • Because I don't find the ones in my area attractive

    • Then you got to look elsewhere. You can't just force yourself to think certain people are attractive, so just go out and meet different folks and see how is it going.

What Girls Said 9

  • u lost me at the first sentence. why would only black women find u attractive?

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    • Only ghetto black girls like black guys, not that all black girls are ghetto, the non-ghetto ones don't like them and the attractive ones have options

    • good lord... I'm not doing this.

  • You don't chose your soul mate. She might be black, white, Asian Hispanic. I feel like you just have a genuine like for the skin tone not so much the "white girl stereotypes" because you for some reason can't look past the black girl stereotypes. All of us aren't loud or irresponsible or immature. You just gotta find the right one. You can't force yourself to like someone you genuinely do not like. I'm black and female. I've grown up in the "ghetto" but I don't see all black guys as wannabe rapper douchebags. Sure I've met a lot in my position but I don't shut down any relatively good thought for the black man due to their pigmentation. Just keep an open mind is all you can really do love.

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  • Don't bother. We don't like your kind around here boy.

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    • he types like a white boy.

    • So I'm just evil for not being attracted to them? Does having the same ancestry on some level just make me necessarily have to be attracted to them (I'd say skin pigmentation, but, I don't)?

    • @orphan Is that translation for "can spell"?

  • Yeah. This is a bunch of bullshit. Next.

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  • I'm so confused as to why only black girls would find you attractive? I know so many people in inter racial relationships? It's very very common! The world is so diverse and it's such a beautiful thing!

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  • Look at sexy black girls

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  • Lmao are you kidding me dude? Who cares if you dont find black girls attractive. I'm sure black girls feel the same. Move along and just be with whoever you want to be with. Not to sound rude but I'm sure black girls aren't missing out. Why would a black girl want a half-assed guy that's trying to make himself feel attracted to her. I'm sure these's a lot of black girls that feel the same way you do so it's OK dude lol

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  • OMG really. First off go out places the are upscale like certain restaurants and bars. You will find a black women with head on straight and that isn't obnoxious. Two there are plenty of black girls that live in the ghetto and like black guys and they are not loud and ghetto. I lived in the ghetto and am not loud at all im actually on the shy and quiet side and i hate drama. So there are plenty out there. Your making excuses or those are the girls you pick beacuse there are plenty. If you want to date outside your race then go ahead its not a big deal. But don't come up with an bs excuse

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  • Look for black girls who go to college and whatnot. I work with some really cool black girls who are pretty, smart, articulate, etc.

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    • And all of them that I know date smart black guys...

What Guys Said 6

  • is this your clever way to humor yourself about stereotypes?

    use the enter key sometime.

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  • Start watching rap music videos

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  • *Steps over this melodrama like it were made of poop*

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  • Just get out of the ghetto. That should be priority

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  • look at rihanna, beyonce and nicki minaj mmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

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  • Find a hot black girl and ask her out. Once you get turned down, you'll have a new challenge to overcome. And start trying to go out of your way to look for and hang out with more black people. I'm just saying to do the apposite of what you've been doing, according to what you posted. Nothing will change if you keep doing the same things

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