Why did this man turn from hot to cold?

I met a man on a dating website. We were talking for a couple weeks before we met and we really hit it off. He was incredibly eager to talk with me and meet me. My impressions of him were that he was very genuine, sensitive, highly intelligent, funny, and clearly good looking from his pictures. Online his Facebook page was open- I looked there- he had friends- had a great linked-in profile.

Our first date magical and all of the dates to follow for 4 weeks. In total, we spent about 50 hours together. He told me and showed me he was very invested in the relationship and was very emotionally intimate with me. All signs pointed to the beginning of a very promising relationship. I told him I would be taking a trip abroad in the coming weeks and he said he would “try his best” with the long distance. He gave me no reason to believe otherwise. He drove me to the airport, told me he would miss me and was very warm and seemingly genuine.

As soon as I arrived at my destination, he was super distant. He took 24-36 hours to answer my texts. (Even after telling him it was hurtful and seeing that he was online in that time frame.) After a week of this, I wrote to him that this kind of long distance isn't working out and that maybe we can reconnect in a couple weeks when I’m back in the country. He responded within 3 minutes only saying “The long distance is hard for me too.” It has been a week since that message and I have gotten nothing from him. I am left completely dumbfounded and devastated. I am not a naiive woman or easily fooled. He gave me all the signs when we were together he wanted to continue. I don't understand why he would take the time at the end to date me and drive me to the airport if he wasn't planning on continuing the relationship. It seemed like he decided when I was in the airplane that he didn’t want the relationship anymore because he disappeared day 1 of my trip. We both invested a lot and this seems bizarre to me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • The situation does seem bizarre. The reason for the complete 180 in his behavior following your trip seems completely inexplicable. It was inconsiderate, self-centered, and perhaps serves as warning of what to expect from him if you proceeded with him.

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