Does attraction grow as you get to know the person more?

I've met a guy and he's literally the most attractive guy I've ever dated. I know you don't usually call a guy beautiful but he literally is lol. He's tall, dark, handsome... Whole package basically!
Despite this, the reason I like him is because he's a lovely person, he makes me laugh, he's interesting- we just really get on. My attraction to him isn't physical as much, like usually I'm attracted to average geeky guys most people wouldn't look at. I fancy this new guy but im
not infatuated like I usually am with the guys I've met lol which is definitely healthier.

Is this enough though? Will a romantic spark grow? I can't tell whether my feelings are purely platonic.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say you aren't attracted to him physically as much - historically you weren't but who knows, this guy might have changed the way you look at guys you like! ;)

    Does attraction grow? I think rather than it growing, you get more accustomed and familiar. Things may no longer seem as intense as they were before, but they become comfortable and familiar. More.. normal.

    Pure but intense platonic feelings develop into romantic feelings if both parties are interested in becoming a couple. I don't think a relationship can exist unless there is friendship, interest, and a decision to be together.

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What Guys Said 26

  • It can. often times how you feel about a person emotionally can foster deeper feelings on a physical level.

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  • i didn't read your details (sorry). but here's some reasonable logic to answer your question:

    you just made eye contact with this smooth handsome dude

    http://i67.tinypic.com/2yzla4o.png

    he swaggers on over to ask your name... and sounds like this:

    c0499862.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/2005_0308_urkel-682238.jpg

    no longer attractive.

    whomever wants to chime in with "omg but i love nerds". stahp. just stahp.

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  • Waw Alex, this sounds really good!
    It's so important that you love him as a person, not just his looks. That's the recipe for the start of a long term relationship :D
    Of course it's not that simple but you obviously feel the click and that's so important!
    Thumbs up that this time it works out :D

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  • Yeah. I mean I've had a couple of girlfriends who admitted to hating me when they first met me! LMAO! So attraction can grow over time. hahaha

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  • I'd say there's no need to draw such a distinction in how you feel about someone to be attracted to them.

    As for the immediate question in the title, probably. There are limits, like if you found out this guy was a serial killer, that might count off a bit from his charm. If you already like him, probably just about anything neutral or possibly not even too negative might grow your attraction for him.

    There's a limit. If you got married, lived together, some of the things you might have formerly loved about him might become incredibly annoying when faced with it daily.

    The point where your feelings tend to grow by knowing more and more is before that stage, and at those points, any kind of new knowledge gained about the person short of something extremely negative will tend to just grow your attraction to them. Even some cute little flaws here and there, like some silly phobia, might even make you like them more.

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  • I doubt they are platonic, they are visceral reaction to the most valuable mate in the vicinity. Anyways, I believe attraction can and should grow and it does with some people and doesn't with others - if two people really fall for each other in the beginning and their personalities are fully developed and they are honest with each other, I believe their attraction for one another will grow.

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  • Attraction starts based on the physical and either grows or diminishes, but yes attraction can grow for someone as you get to know them if you like what you learn about them such as manners, personality, likes, dislikes, etc.

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  • Yes it takes time, you have to give it time to grow, nurture it and all that jazz. Then eventually you will become romantically invested, done and done.

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  • Sometimes it does grow, other times it doesn't because it wipes away the shine of lust.

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  • Yeah, they should. Look at it this way. If you ever get in a relationship and you start to like them LESS then it's a bad relationship. Normally and naturally you should grow fonder of the person over time.

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  • It may grow but just enjoy getting to know him Alex and don't try to force it. This is your own advice coming back really and its damn good XD

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  • It can either grow or die out

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  • Depends🙂

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  • no lol... attraction grows from being pushed away, then flirted with repeatedly. =) think about creepy dudes, the more you know them, the more creepy they seem, the less attracted you are.

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  • yes it does for sure

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  • Well see it for yourself what happens and tell us ! :-)

    It might work for you..

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  • Love's in the air :P

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  • Yes.

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  • Yes it really does, even after an hour they can seem more attractive

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  • attraction? ha your attracted to what he has

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  • Looks are definitely a huge part but I'm sure you could make you self like someone... Over time

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  • Yeah before I only liked you 3% now I like you 36% lol.

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  • You should just go for it. Ask him to marry you and you will find out if it is platonic or not.

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  • I don't trust your face at all...

    You look like a liar and a cheater...

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  • What about a situation where a person gets an idea you like them. Then they ghost? At that point, does a person develop feeling for you?

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  • for me its the opposite, at first I really like them but then over some time I dont like them that way anymore

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What Girls Said 20

  • I've been married for almost 15 years to the man of my filthy wet dreams, and I'm here to tell you that the MHG guy is just totally wrong. Things do not HAVE to become less intense... nope.

    Things will become less intense if you allow inertia to be the primary driving force in yr sexual relationship. Unfortunately, that's exactly what most people do. They just let the sexual heat slip away -- thinking, as the MHG guy does, that it's some inevitable thing that comes to pass in any long-term relationship.

    Uh, to use polite language? Fuck that.

    Nope.

    You can WORK on this. You can work on keeping it hot. The key is to do this WHILE IT'S STILL HOT, because reviving that flame is a pretty hard thing to do.

    You can tailor yr "dirty talk" so that common words become imbued with more and more sexual meanings. Over a period of years? You can get to a point where any normal conversation can be an instant aphrodisiac, just with a slight turn of the head and a knowing look along with certain innocuous words.
    I mean, my boy's gotten me to the point where just hearing the word "wife", or even just looking at my left hand, makes me wet myself. Hell, even white clothes.

    You can... do things, with common household objects and furniture. You can make yr living space tell hundreds and hundreds of dirty, dirty stories.
    I mean, fuck. I just open up our silverware drawer, see spoons, and I'm wet thinking of this incident www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1838291-what-is-the-kinkiest-thing-you-have-done (scroll to my comment). Or, ANY of our furniture, lol. Or most of my clothes. Any of it. All laced with some seriously hot memories.

    You can make it keep getting better and better and better badder worse dirtier filthier hotter more more more... for at least 15 years. And counting.

    It's not even that hard, to do that.

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  • For me this is 100% true.

    I can look at an average guy and find attractive qualities in him, but the more I like him, the more attractive he gets. If he just so happens to be really attractive and really cool then well... someone get me my net. Or my master ball.

    image.sportsmansguide.com/adimgs/l/1/145827_ts.jpg

    img15.deviantart.net/.../...y_baconb0y-d5uf4gw.jpg

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  • Feelings tend to grow over time.
    I can't tell you how many people I saw as "just friends" only for me to later realize there is a blossoming potential.
    By the 3rd or 4th date you should have a clear stance on your feelings.
    You have to come to terms with how you want to move forward, if not you will only waste the both of your time.

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  • That is a tough one!!! I dated a guy for 3 months gorgeous sweet like a guy out of those chick flicks the whole package... but same no real spark... I ended it as was fearful since he had no obvious flaws that it would make mine stick out even more... he ended getting married to a trainwreck but he loves her deeply... so maybe talk to him about it be honest and he may surprise you! Good luck!!

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  • Mmm well since you guys just met, I assume the more you get to know each other the more you'll understand if you have feelings for him or not. You may like his physical features but his personality is a downside down the road? Or it could be the exact opposite.. Just wait and see

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  • I think the attraction grows as you get to know the person more, or at least it does for me. I don't really start developing a legitimate attraction/feelings for a guy until I get to know his personality. I might think he is cute before getting to know him, but I don't become interested until after I get to know him better.

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  • It certainly can grow, but it's not always guaranteed that it will.

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  • Its possible. But I rather be attractive off the bat!

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  • Yeah, I'd say so. I've been working with my co-worker for 4 years and, while I refuse to date younger, we've definitely grown closer and I can see him as an attractive guy.

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  • Yes, thats very true it will definitely grow. There was this guy that i was involved with he wasn't attractive to many others and they would comment "why him, he's ugly. Never in a million years would i expect that." But regardless he was a good guy and verrrry funnnny.

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  • It really depends on their personality and who the person is , you can be super attractive but I have an ugly personality and I can make you ugly and not make me turn to anymore or you can have the most wonderful personality in the whole entire world and that makes me even more attracted to you

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  • I think you are smitten by his physical looks and I see a romantic relationship blossoming if given the chance.

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  • Sometimes yes... but a lot of the times no...

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  • As long as the guy is not butt ugly, I usually find myself getting attracted to some average Joe as I know and like his personality.

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  • For me yes, but there has to be attraction there in the first place. It just gets way more intense over time

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  • Oh yes, totally! The way he is can definitely have an influence on my level of attraction.

    I think something can grow from that. Just let it flow and see how it goes :)

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  • for me attraction does grow as i get to know a guy if he's my type

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  • Not always

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  • That's what TRUE love is. "Love" that happens almost instantaneously and makes you feel crazy and become practically obsessed with someone for a brief period... isn't actually love. It's infatuation. And it burns really bright only temporarily like a candle then fizzles. LOVE happens over time and comes from getting to know someone.

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  • I think it can grow when you think the person is attractive, but not when you find them unattractive.

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