Playing it off or really didn't care?

So my guy friend and I met 5 years ago. Really good friends. Almost 2 years ago we started "dating" or "talking" we were on and off. He would go weeks without talking to me. Id reach out & he'd push me away. He would talk to me & again I'd be head over heels. About 8 months ago i started growing tired of him playing me even though i kept falling for his game. Then 3 months ago he slept over but nothing happened, we just smoked & fell asleep. After that he didn't talk to me again. We hung out a couple times at parties but went our own ways. He stuck with his pal & i was making new friends. A month later i slept at his place. He wanted to take things further. He asled if I wanted to do it. Of course I said I was on my period. Even though i wanted to I wasn't sure i wanted to just do it with someone i couldnt be with, realistically we would never be a thing. Too much time had been wasted. Too many arguments over "not trying." & I could never see myself marrying a guy like him (not that im thinking about marriage but he's 4 four years older) &lots of my friends are engaged (19-20 yr olds). I stopped reaching out to him because I'm really just over it. He reached out to me twice asking what i was doing that night. Once again that proved to me that we would be nothing more than me being in his bed after hours. Not once did he want to grab food with me. Always declined me. Yesterday he texted me he missed & brought up how i pushed him away after i had spent the night at his house. He said he wanted to be with me but that ship was long gone for him & wanted to know why i bailed. I let him know i couldnt go further with a guy i couldnt be with. It never worked out & prob never will. I let him know he had been a better friend two years ago. He tried making me feel bad saying i was the one acting like i didn't care & he wanted to go further into the relationship. In the end he said "ok this is stupid. im too busy anyways 😛" like ok cool whatever. But i didn't reply. It feels good


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