I have recently started to become intimate with a friend I have known for a year. I am quite worried about sex though, because I am a virgin and might not be able to please her or that things won't work smoothly enough the first time. I also worry she will leave me if she finds out I am inexperienced and thinks the same, and anyway there is no easy way to bring up the subject out of the blue. I was painfully shy and had zero confidence when younger, and the first girl I kissed was at age 28 (and only after she initiated it)!
I've also had a girlfriend before a few years ago, and we did everything except full sex a few times so I have a small amount of experience. I fell very intimidated by how much experience my friend might have (she has had a 10 year relationship with someone) and don't think I have any chance of being as good as her ex boyfriend in bed.
Should I just say nothing and try to bluff it or confess and hope she doesn't dump me?
Most Helpful Girl
From a guy's perspective it can make him look weak. From a girl's perspective it can make her wonder. If the reasons aren't bad, she might understand.
Besides, if she thinks you've had sex before, and your performance sucks, wouldn't she be more understanding she knew the truth? Women value honesty, open communication and courage, and by telling her you're a virgin you display all those qualities.
Why is it a tough subject? Ha, I bring this subject up pretty early even with guys I'm not dating. I'm quite open. I start by asking casually. 'You a virgin?" Let them answer. "I am." I don't feel like I have to explain, but if you do, don't act like you're ashamed. Tell her you wanted to wait until you found someone special enough to share that with. She might find it quite romantic. Given my options, the fact that I'm a virgin is not only surprising, but attractive to most guys I meet.
If she leaves you because of this issue--fyi, she's not that special someone.0
Most Helpful Guy
Tom, she will notice it even if you don't tell. You should say that to her, so she can manage her expectations, and because... you don't really have a choice.
If you talk about that now, she might like that attitute, shows you are man enough to admit things. Some girls really appreciate virgin men.
The sooner the better. The question is, how to say it.
But, the important is that you show to her you are active about preasuring her and being a good lover.0