Is it a bad thing that I think/occasionally act more like a guy than a girl? Will it affect whether I'm "dateable" or not?

I didn't really realise how bad (or good? or whatever?) this was until recently, but I think a lot more like a guy than I do like a girl. I hate drama and really couldn't care less about chipped nail polish or shopping. I don't think acting passive aggressive or catty (ratchet is a more commonly used term) is amusing, and I tend to confront things rather than gossip. I like music like rap and classic rock, and my friends have lately been saying things like "you are honestly more of a guy than a girl". I always feel more comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans than leggings. I could go on, because there are about a million things, but I'll stop there. I think it comes from how I grew up, having only friends who are guys until this year, when I made a few "girlfriends", but I can't really connect with them super well and I can hardly ever understand where theyre coming from.

I got to thinking about this after a friend of mine said something along the lines of "Every guy needs a girl like you" and I got kind of happy right, but then he continued with "to give them advice about girls they like."

Is thinking and talking (and sometimes acting) like I do a bad thing? And will it effect guys wanting to date me?

  • Bad
    11% (7)10% (5)11% (12)Vote
  • Good
    6% (4)8% (4)7% (8)Vote
  • Doesn't matter
    83% (52)30% (15)59% (67)Vote
  • I'm a guy and girls like that are more attractive
    0% (0)20% (10)9% (10)Vote
  • I'm a guy and it doesn't matter
    0% (0)26% (13)12% (13)Vote
  • I'm a guy and girls like that are less attractive
    0% (0)6% (3)2% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
This isn't a cute tomboy act, I've been like this since kindergarten when I'd go over to my "friend's" house and hang out with her brother more than her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not acting like a guy. You are acting like yourself. That's what any guy interested in you will tell himself. I think the way you act couldmactually help you. Not that many people like being caught in the middle of a drama.

    It's funny how disconnected you are from other girls. I guess you can understand how clueless we can be sometimes about your gender. Things seems so much simpler for us guys.

    I don't think the guy was being mean when he told you that. He was actually right. You could be a good translator since you know both worlds... I think not only would you make a great friend, but you would also be a catch.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If this is true, it won't be long before you've got lines of men all the way around the block wanting a chance with a girl like you.

    I mean, a handful of boys have the woman code totally cracked, including the girly girl code. But, that's only a handful. Maybe one or two percent.

    The other 98 or 99 percent? Yeah, they'd very much like a girl they can actually understand, and connect with, and who doesn't confuse the living shit out of them all the time.
    They'd very much want that.

    The demand for girls like you greatly exceeds the supply. Trust me on this one.

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    • Yr welcome. (:

      See, here's the thing to understand, when you talk to people about this.

      If you ASK boys what they want, in terms of this, they'll say they want a girly girl. But this is because they are using the boy-definition of girly girl.
      Roughly speaking, that's equivalent to "if people see me next to her, they will immediately identify her as the girl." LOL
      And maybe "she doesn't like to watch sports."

      See, really, that's it.

      This is THE IMPORTANT THING for you to comprehend, here:
      When you are talking to boys about this sort of thing, they WILL NOT UNDERSTAND what "girly girl" is all about, BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE TO UNDERSTAND GIRLS to get that!

      You see where I'm going with this.

      When YOU are thinking girly girl, yr thinking about things like passive-aggression, and hive-mind on-trend thinking, and mercurial mood swings, and backhanded language, and all that shit. But boys don't understand those things. Don't get them at all. That's why they SEEM to say (cont'd)

    • .. one thing and then do another. They're not really being hypocritical -- it's just that y'all are having a conversation where yr using the same word, but meaning two totally different things by it.

      I mean, honestly, at least 95 percent of boys would LOVE a girlfriend (and, eventually, a wife) who can wear some decently feminine clothes, and stuff, but who talks and interacts and forms relationships in the more typical boy ways.

      Really. As long as yr looks preserve the sexual dimorphism, at least a little bit (lol)... you will find that a LOT of boys will fall for you. Oh, it will happen.

      (:

      Don't change a thing.

What Guys Said 6

  • Those aren't feminine traits. Just most girls do them. They're asshole traits. Spawned from vanity and shallowness and lack of humility in anything. We'll done for being laid back and sane. Downstairs make you less of a girl. You need to be an arsehole to be female? I don't think so

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  • You do you, girl! it's your life and there's nothing wrong with doing things that other people might consider strange (although I personally don't consider it strange).

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  • you can't think like a man
    you are not a man you don't know what we think
    stop acting like you understand us when you don't
    I hate when women do this its so stupid

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    • Shit I said that my friends, WHO ARE GUYS, said that I thought more like a guy. Doesn't matter whether or not I know what a guy thinks like, they do, and I'm expressing what they told me

  • You're 14 but as you get older you will lots of guys who would want to be with your type.

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  • it sound just like my wife.

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  • grow your hair than that act might look cute

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What Girls Said 8

  • I've never liked any of the typical girly-girl things and I found a guy perfectly fine.
    You're young, in middle school/high school it might be a bit harder to find someone who appreciates you for who you are, but in the long run it's better to be who you are. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with who you are. You'd be just as datable as the next girl (if not more so).

    I know there's a lot of guys who like girls that are lower maintenance more than girls that are girly girls. You'll be fine! There will be a lot of guys that will appreciate a girl who doesn't always have to have her nails done and dress up (take forever to get ready in the morning) and a lot of guys who prefer more natural looks.

    Also, your taste in music is genderless. Music doesn't have a gender. Both sexes can listen to any type of music and shouldn't be considered less of a guy/girl because of their choice.

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    • It certainly seems like music is gendered. I've actually been told to "stop listening to music for guys" and "rap isn't for girls like you" before

    • It's not supposed to be gendered, though.
      Perhaps it seems like that in the fish bowl that is high school (where generalizations and stereotypes are very popular), but once you get out of it, you can really listen to whatever type of music without judgement.

  • First off, gender is a socially constructed term. Certain behaviours, personality traits, etc are deemed masculine or feminine and we are socialized to behave accordingly while growing up. But you are who you are, and maybe you don't fit the mould for what society deems feminine. There's also this idea that there is a spectrum of gender and men and women fall different on it. I think everyone, to an extent, as male and female "energy" and one might overpower the other. I hated fashion and make up growing up but have come to like it, and that was my choice. You're very very young too so give yourself time to figure out who you are and what you're all about

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  • I'm actually a lot similar to you. I feel like I have a guy's dirty sense of humor. And I'm pretty chill and I like hanging out with guys because girls are so dramatic and annoying. I do like leggings though.

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    • Ooh can't stand leggings, very uncomfortable. I agree with you about most girls

  • We all like what we like. There's no need to change or apologize for it. It's s part of your personality. It's a stereotype that all women have the same 'girly' personality anyway.

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  • Do your own thing and that'll attract a keeper. If you have to fake it then it's not worth it and it won't make you happy in the end. I'm quite the tom boy too (kids have even mistook me for a guy) and I've ended up dating my best friend (who's a guy), and we've been together almost exactly a year now. So don't worry about it. The person who like you for being you will come along

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  • You're just being yourself. I love nail polish, makeup, and all of that stereotypical girl stuff. I also love raunchy "guy" humor and video games. You are you. Don't be ashamed of what you like

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  • Haha, I'm exactly like you.

    Don't worry, you are definitely dateable. There are a lot of guys who like girls like you.

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  • I was that way in college and it was hard for me to get a date. I think men are threatened or just not sexually interested in me because they see me as an equal (or even a competitor at work) or just because I'm smart and confident. They want to feel stronger and smarter than the girl they're with.

    I don't think you should change yourself, I just think it's harder to find a man who is comfortable with a woman like that.

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