Why do girls make it a point to let you know that they are independent?

Is it really that big of a deal.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • interesting.. i honestly here 'I'm ibdeoendenty' much more from men than from women. and personally i think its ridiculous. first of all human beings are not indepedent. we all exist and subsist and thrive because we have tightly woven droendernce on our species. even the most solitary person is deferent on her/ his fellow human for survive. the independent wo / man --thats an illusion. the rugged individual a myth conceived and popularized during the cold war... justify rationalize and promote anti communism, world domination, and the united states as impervious and all powerful.

    second whatever you are, your personality, it will come across from your actions. i don't trust people who announce what they are. its defensive and separate and suspicious.

    on the other hand in terms of women stating independence , it could be a practical move , as apposed to deceive or boast but rather to express that they are not intending to be in a relationship where there is an expectation of submissiveness from them. or domination of them. guys don't really need to make such pronouncement or imply this in any way, bc women don't expect it of them often. if they do its as their personal preference, not as their role as men.

    a lot of guys live in a 1950s fantasy world where they expect their wife or girlfriend to be their child in all intents and purposes. not their 'partner/ so saying I'm 'indecent' might be a disclaimer' I'm nobodies bitch'. which seems reasonable enough.

    You yourself, not being a Woman dating men- who sometimes can not distinguish between a girlfriend and a daughter or a maid or a rescued street urchin- may have difficulty understanding that a lot of men start off with grave misapprehensions about what it does vs what they think it should mean to be a woman vs being with a woman, vs the actual woman they are interested in... And why therefore it can be essential to make clear things from the beginning before things develop any further.

    Thats my view as to why -if this is true- Women might often feel the need to point out they are independent. Though no hum, an truly is there is a sort of general assumption given to the word which basically means being your own person. It is taken for granted that men are fully formed individuals as apposed to women who are by some seen as never fully formed, always needing men to complete them. In many cases Women may need to remind the men in their lives they are their own person.

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    • It is never accurate to ay 'I'm indecent' for any sex. And depending upon motive it can be quite obnoxious. but in certain situations for certain people it can be necessary. And yes a very ' big deal', because of what they are up against, and bc of negative stereotypes preceding their existence that they are left baring the brunt of due to no fault or misdeed of their own.

    • English isn't your native language, right?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Because they are projecting their desires in a potential mate onto men, not understanding that men mostly just don't want a leech.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Just beware any woman who explicitly DECLARES that she is "strong" and/or "independent".

    Just as you should beware anyone who explicitly declares any personality trait, ever, under any circumstance. Almost always a red flag.
    "You can trust me!" Lol.
    "I'm not that kind of girl!" Sure yr not.
    Etc.

    _________________________________

    Here. Pop quiz.
    You have to CONVINCE people that you are honest.
    Quick! What kind of person are you?

    ...

    ...

    ...

    Yep. Yr a con man, or a thief, or something along those lines (::cough:: politician ::cough::)

    You see where I goes, with this.

    The only possible motivation someone would ever have for DECLARING a character trait, would be artifice. Hoping you could plant that image in people's heads BEFORE THEY REALIZED OTHERWISE.

    First impressions are strong. By declaring themselves to have certain traits, these people are hoping to doctor people's first impressions of themselves.

    People who HAVE those traits would have no reason to do this... because they have the traits! Their true colors will show through.

    This goes even more for "independent", because declaring that TO OTHERS violates the very core spirit of independence itself. If you really were independent, why would you even care about others' assessment of you? LOL

    --

    mostly pasted from stuff I originally wrote here www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1876142-guys-do-you-like-strong-independent-women-meaning-has-her-own-job

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  • Personally, because I've come a long way. I grew up dirt poor, and I've been taking care of my family since I was like 15.
    Also, to let you know that I don't need your money, I'm not with you out of necessity. Just fully want you. If I'm with a guy, I'm with him because I want him, not need him.

    And, guys are always wary of gold diggers, relax men. Do you really think I'm a gold digger if I go for men who work like at grocery stores, cashiers, McDs? Lol no. That would make the worst gold digger ever haha because I've made more than my past bfs.

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  • I'm 33 independent but I don't need flaunt it... thumbs up you can pay your own bills... so can 70% of other women in this country... the real test if she buys lunch within the first 10 dates that isn't at some frufru place...

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    • The first ten dates? Wow, you sound like a gold digger. How about the first 3?

    • See I could go into all this detail as why that's not true, by giving examples of how I'm not, I'm independent but that seems to feed into your original quiry. Maybe women feel compelled to inform you they are independent if you assume all women are "gold-diggers"..

  • No, it shouldn't really be that of a big deal except that men make it a point to let women know that they do not like women who are not independent! It's the old egg leading to a chicken and then to a chicken and egg situation, sadly. If women were honest, they would prefer to not be so independent if this was not suddenly seen as the woman being needy and clingy - which are in turn interpreted as weaknesses and not endearing virtues. If men would be more willing to genuinely display chilvary, women, I'm sure will be less likely to make a point of putting on the 'independent' girl shield. Don't get me wrong, we like our freedom and liberties...

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  • As a woman, it is a big deal for me to be independent. Considering it's harder to reach a proper pay and getting treated fairly. My Dad always told my sister and I that it's a Man's World, so we need to work twice as hard to reach what we deserve. I do take pride in my work ethic, which I do independently. Can't speak for all women, but that's my personal take.

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  • She clearly doesn't want or need your help so stop making it a big deal.

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  • Honestly some girls dont want guys thinking we need them around for everything. We don't want the guy thinking we are screwed without them. Now it may be a personal thing I don't know you so I can't say that it is something your doing but it might be. The girl may think you are making her feel that way.

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  • Because they don't want a boy to feel that the girl is going to be dependent on them. They want to let you know that there a big girl and they can do things on there own

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  • Nowadays people often think that a woman needs a man or she is not whole/not ding great in life/generally worth less.
    So maybe women dont like this and dont wan people to assume they need someone in their life?

    Also women being independent is quite a new thing and it still isn't as widely accepted as it should be

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  • Dunno honestly. Its just a immature thing to do.

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  • It's not a big deal. We still appreciate chivalry, and men paying for dates etc. However, we also want you to respect our careers.

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  • I think I do it cause I'm proud of what I have accomplished and I think men would rather an independent woman to a dependent one.

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  • Not all women do this.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Bc the ones that do aren't!

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  • beyonce?

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