I was friends with my boyfriend for four years before we dated. And those years were spent from age 12-16 for him. So if you want to see someone at their worst, demand maturity from an angsty hotheaded pubescent boy lol
I knew who he was at his worst long before we started dating. But I also knew who he was at his best and who he was at his middle ground. The four years prior to us dating were spent asking each other literally ever question under the moon. From, "What's you're third favorite tree?" to "If we were married and had children, what role would you want your spouse to play in the marriage/child rearing?"
Time will generally do all the work here for you. Also being around them in person can speed things up. It's easier for people to think about what they're saying and delete and edit messages through text to fit a personality they think you would like.
No offense, but your an idiot if you think your gonna see all there is to see in a person BEFORE you get involved... Shit people are still trying to find themselves and they are on their death beds... How do you expect know who they really are when they don't even know? And some people have a lot of embarrassing and painful baggage/memories? That's not somethng they are going to bring up on a first date... If you want a perfect guy you better start looking in the sophisticated societies of the world... NO ONE is perfect
I wouldn't consider getting engaged unless I've at least been through a major fight and found that we can resolve things without any pent up hatred. Also, moving in together would be a precursor to doing so. JMO
I don't let myself get emotionally invested or even start the relationship till I've got a good measure of who they are as a person. I've known my boyfriend from high school so... for more than five years. I was hanging out with him on a daily basis almost daily for months before we started dating too. Basically got his stances on most of the things that would be important to me in a potential boyfriend while we were still just friends so... I didn't really get into it with any remaining doubts in my mind. :)