Is he really not going to see me before I leave:(?

We hooked up a year ago, then dated for a bit (He asked me out), then contiued to just hook up because I went back to school, three hours away. At that point we didn't really talk about what we were or our feelings. I moved back a few months ago, but things felt different and I felt like he didn't like me anymore, so we just continued to hookup and have been ever since, I'd see him every weekend usually when we went out. He felt rejected by me because I refused to kiss him back and messaged him saying: “I liked him but we should just be friends” because I was angry. He was upset over that and ignored me.

We talked a month ago when we were drunk. He told me what I said really upset him. He opened up a lot to me and said he is scared of being hurt and rejected. I told him I really do like him and he said he liked me also. But Im moving away for work in a week. We slept together twice after that. But I slept with some else right after (I don’t know if he knows). Then found out he went on a date with some girl two weeks ago.. And then when I saw him two weekends ago he completely ignored me and avoided me... yesterday I messaged him asking if we could meet up before I moved. He asked me when I was leaving again, and then never replied. Hasn't said anything since yesterday..

I tried, I wanted to have one last honest conversation with him, once and for all. End all the ambigioutiy, apologize and explain. I still have feelings for him and I care about him and always will. Is there any hope or a chance to fix this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Even though you wanted to leave in good terms, you've said it already that you are better off as friends even though you didn't mean it that way. He took that hard and now again you are leaving. Either you both commit to whatever this is or just let him move on with his life; he clearly wants something more since he's really hurt about it and is now avoiding you in a way

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Most Helpful Girl

  • But what's the point? There is no future for the two of you. He sees that, and is protecting himself from any heartache.
    I do have a question tho, If the two of you are/were hooking up? Why would you refuse to kiss him?

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    • Because he was wasted drunk and saying rude things to me

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    • The point is I like him. I want to be with him

    • But you've told him on several occasions you only want to be friends. there are consequences to all actions. And aren't you moving? Just let him be and learn from this for the next guy, be true with your words.

What Guys Said 10

  • He is just unsure about how u feels.. he is confused, so he probably ignore u to avoid any heartaches..
    As he said before that he have a fear of rejection.. so try to meet him nd talk to him clearly..

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    • I tried! I asked him to meet me and he just ignored me and never replied... so I dont really know what to do now

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    • so what should I say? Im so upset over this and its driving me crazy

    • Just be straightforward... say i really like u and want to meet u pls..

  • It sounds like you gave up when you slept with someone else right after.. You really can't speak about feelings if you are willing to give it up to another so quickly.

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    • I did basically give up.. because why would he tell me all those things then do nothing about it.. nothing changed and he made no effort. I tried after that talk to hang out but he didn't reciprocate.. so I started talking to someone else. Instead of confronting me about issues or what he wants, he just ignores me.. and I have no idea what he's actually mad about or sad about? Since we werent in a relationship.. I really do care about him.. and the guy I slept with really didn't mean anything

  • "I liked him but we would be better off as friends"

    looks like he got the message

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    • I didn't actually mean that, I was upset that I didn't know what we were, shouldn't have said that. I told him that. And then he opened up to me. Is that why he's ignoring me now? because if it is why did he open up and say those things to me..

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    • But when I tried to talk to him that night, asking what he's been up to etc., he was just cold towards me and short.

    • I can't expect him to just want to all of a sudden commit and be something as I am leaving. Its probably not fair for me to profess my feelings for him now because he's trying to move on and get over this. I really just want to apologize mostly and say I enjoyed spending time with him, remember the good. I will miss him. I wish I could be with him in a relationship but at this point thats not realistic nor could I ask him to do that because its not fair for him. I dont want to be with anyone else, and even the guys I would talk to, I was always just wishing they were him.

  • guess you should have said you really care about him and will miss him before you fucked another guy huh?

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    • I did tell him that before but I dont think it meant anything because he still didn't make an effort.. the day after we had that conversation he said he wanted to do something with me, but he never came through... and we werent in a relationship, if he wanted something he could have made it happen or made it known and he never did.. I was seeing other people throughout the year and he knew that, he would get jealous and pissed but would never say anything.. he wasn't seeing anyone else but did kiss one or two girls within the last year.. and now went on a date with some random girl...

  • what changes if he does have feelings?

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    • what do you mean?

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    • I would like to know his views on it, but yes. I dont want to be with anyone else. I am moving so that changes things

    • how far will you be from him once you move?

      my advice is call him up and say goodbye. friends come and go.

  • Your clearly not sucking his dick enough at all or right lol m!

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  • Didn't you post this before?

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  • Didn't you post this before?

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  • So do you still have feelings for him.

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    • Of course I do and Im so upsetI dont even know what to do

  • LOL so you said you just be friends and that's how he's gonna treat his friends. Nothing unusual in my opinion.

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    • what do you mean?

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    • Oh no.

    • I know things got really messed up between us, but I can't just leave things the way they are, its driving me crazy. We obviously both have feelings for eachother

What Girls Said 6

  • Bad communication as far as the eye can see! You both keep dancing around things without every really talking about them and then get upset when the other person doesn't know how you feel. Stop being ridiculous and just put it out in the open. You'll never find out if things could work out if you both just keep pretending that you aren't that into each other.

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    • I know, you pin pointed the problem! I tried to reach out to him to talk, but he just avoided it.. so I dont know what to do anmore:( do I just leave it? he doesn't like confrontation, but its pretty necessary at this point.

    • i might be seeing him tonight, if he decides to show up to friends birthday, but I dont even know what I would say now since he just ignored me when I asked him to meet me.. pretty rude of him. Plus well be drinking and I dont want to talk about things drunk

  • ... He asked me when I was leaving again, and then he Never Replied.
    It is Obvious he is Not into Long distance Anything so Move on and Best Wishes here, dear, in your New move and groove.
    Good luck. xx

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    • As wise as I am, he Knows you are going and doesn't want to continue anything so he is doing anyways his own thing. It is obvious.
      Best to forget him, Best advice I can give you and begin anew life with less strife. xx

  • Maybe his trying to be cold on you so you can move on from him (because you move to work within a week)

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  • Then tell him. Just message him again and say you'd really like to see him before you leave.

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    • He clearly wants nothing to do with me tho... :(

    • Call him. Honestly, what do you have to lose?

    • like a crazy person lol

  • Ugh... why is it so hard for us to be honest? I envy my kids, because they are and mean no harm. Doll, you can keep trying to get an answer only to be rejected or ignored. It's rough and never do you know when to disengage. Lines become soooo blurred.

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    • I honestly just want to be on good terms with him but who knows what his deal is.. My asking him to meet up was my last attempt and now Im done

  • Yes text him and tell him you need to tell him something really important in person and it can't wait and please come over. Let him know your intentions be honest and if he means this much to you LDL sucks but if your willing to try then at least you can say you tried.

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    • I did yesterday, I asked how he was and he said he was good and asked how I was? I said good and then asked if we could meet before I leave. He asked when I leave again and I told him the date and he just never replied, its been since last night.. but everything else he replied really fast.. I haven't see him in two weeks and he ignored and avoided me that time. when asked what he was up to he was just short with me. We haven't talked since until I messaged him last night. I don't know what else to do..

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    • guys can be stupid at times if he avoiding and ignoring you then go out do something fun for yourself don't let him ruin your last few nights.. you never know you may meet someone cuter and not so immature.

    • He's being so immature... Im having fun and going to be having a greta time when I move. Its my best friend/ old roomate's birthday and my going away party this weekend. But the problem is he is my bestfriend's/old roommate's brother.. so she invited him.. so he might show up.. really dont want him to because I dont want to deal with him and talk when were drunk,, just want to have fun with my friends. plus last time he ignored me so..

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