Do guys not like women who have their stuff together?

I'm having a hard time finding a guy. I'm currently single and it seems like guys that I meet prefer to date girls who are using them for moeny. They like fall in love so quickly with them. move them into their house and then pay for everything for them. They will even talk marriage so quickly with them.

However, when they date me. they seem to hesitate even making me their girlfriend. I just don't get it.

I have a full-time job, and I work very hard. But when I meet a guy I like I always make time for him and definitely enjoy seeing him. I treat guys I date really well. I help pay for dates and agree to help do some of the driving as well.

I don't expect expensive dates or anything either. I'm fairly laid back. However, I find that I'm repelling a lot of guys and have no idea why.

But I noticed that guys will stop seeing me. And move on to a girl who has no job, and basically leaches off them.

Is this what guys prefer? It makes me sad and makes me feel like I'll never meet anyone who wants to be with me :( I really want kids and a family some day, but I feel like it's becoming an impossible dream.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, there are definitely guys for whom you are ideal. Having your shit together like you do is somewhat of a turn on in fact because I'd want a woman who is capable of taking care of our kids and who also will help solve more of life's future problems than create them.

    These guys you are discussing may be more daddy types. Believe me, in the long run, they'll want their woman to be more like you. Let me use an analogy: guys are instinctively like firemen; when a woman has a fire (problem) we put the "fire" out and we don't mind. However, we don't want to be married to an arsonist.

    Now, there may be some other aspect about you that isn't a problem, per se, but isn't very attractive. For instance, femininity: would you say you are rather feminine? Men crave that. Do you speak rather straightforward and let your opinion be know all the time? Do you come across as judgmental? And this one is real important: In a relationship, do you create an environment in which the guy might feel threatened by you or that you won't be loyal? In the long run, men love women who they can trust and open up to and not feel threatened that you would violate that trust or leave.

    These are things to think about. You are also in an awkward age group coz your male cohorts are beginning to transition from party guys to being responsible and decent because they've been burned a bit in relationships and now know more about human nature.

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    • Yes I agree it's a rather tricky time. I am definitely feminine. I have long hair, I like girly things, but I'm also pretty laid back. I'm straightforward, but also very nice to people, not very opinionated, more quiet. I get told I'm too nice a lot from guys. I also get told I'm very simple. I've had guys also tell me that they feel comfortable opening up to me. So I'm not sure why I'm having a hard time finding a guy. Maybe because they want to be a dad, they chase the 'arsonists' because they seem more exciting? I'm worried that I'm intimidating to guys because I have a good job. But I want to be a mom someday and want to be able to help provide a good life for my kids.

      I have no issue dating a guy who is in a more blue collar type job or someone who even makes less than me.

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    • Thank you so much for your help!! :)

    • PM me if you need anything.

What Guys Said 4

  • forgive the bluntness here but fuck no !

    I would love a girl who has her shit together even just have way together i mean not speaking for all guys but in my view a fair few. I could happily say that a lot of us guys on here and out in thw world would like those girls who have their shit together i mean guys love it when thing are drama free when possible and problem free as well when we can.

    but as just chilling said, maybe you are looking in the wrong place maybe try other places and see how that goes for you : )

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    • I've meet meeting guys online. I can't seem to meet any in real life, which is unfortunate. I live in a small town and most of the guys around me are either too picky or are already taken :(

  • I think so, they want to feel appreciated, feel like the man who is bringing home the bread. I also think these women are very sexual, they go out of their way to please them this is what they saw growing up maybe, the women using the men to get by. I don't know know for sure what the deal is, sorry to hear that

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  • It sounds like your attracting the wrong type of guy.

    Where are you from if you don't mind me asking since I'm not sure if that type of guy's behavior is typical where you live?

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  • I like a woman who gives sloppy top

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