According to most, I'm a very attractive, strong, reserved and a classy black woman. I'm not from here, therefore I had to learn English which means i speak it the proper way, I hate street slangs and can't stand when people can't speak their own language properly. So my point is why is it that when I date a white man, no matter how great and loving the relationship seems to be, it doesn't go any further than just dating behind closed doors. They want the relationship but they'll never introduce me to their family. I usually end up breaking off the relationship but they always want to come back so I'm confused.
I do hold off on sex, I dont give it up easily and the relationship is usually long term until I break it off and it's perfect as long as it's the two of us.
I'm only 75% white, but I dated and loved a black woman long ago. I might have tried to marry her but work circumstances had me traveling overseas and our long distance relationship just faded out quickly.
Yet I had to do this sort of thing, dating behind closed doors, and it was because of my mother (100% white, raised in the south). I was shocked to find that she just turned into a lunatic when she found out that I was dating a black woman, giving these idiotic reasons why I shouldn't like, "Black people don't move the same, talk the same, think the same... they're not like us."
... just really horrid and stupid reasons for not dating someone, and I pretty much lost something right then and there where I never felt quite as close to my mother again.
I really wanted to take her to my home and introduce her to my family but I just couldn't with my mother in the way. I tried to explain that to her and she didn't take it so well, actually started crying, and I was so angry at my mother at that point.
I don't know about the dynamics with the men you've dated, but perhaps it is somewhat like mine.
You've just not found the right guy yet. Your mixing in multiracial relationships and thinking this is what is causing the relationship to be held back. You have high standards desire and are obviously well educated. This will give you a small catchment group with guys.
I have dated a couple of black girls over the years and one very seriously. I would say that ultimately we fell prey to the same reason a lot of the other mixed couples fall. Family disapproval... However this one was her family not mine. They never liked me because I was white.
Some men white just want to have the "black girl experience". It's discouraging but I've heard white men say, "Black girls have the sweetest pussy" or "they are freaks in bed." Not all white men are like this, it's just that sadly you're running into those that only want to use you as their fantasy. Some men are willing to sex with those outside of their race but they'd never reproduce with that type of a woman. To me, that is racist. It's like saying, "Yeah, you're good enough to chew but not swallow"
As a woman who has been in a long term relationship with a man much like the men you're describing I can honestly say I know how hard and painful it can be to have an almost 'secret' relationship.
I am not someone who is very open about personal relationships so when I first got with a man who was like me it was great to keep it between us as we got to know each other. It took 4 months before we introduced our relationship to our friends, and 6 before I met his mother and revealed our relationship to his brother (whose been my friend for many years now).
Some guys like to take things very slowly. My man was in a really bad relationship before me so I've had to work to be understanding and when I can't take something I tell him how I feel and we try to work on it. Communication is key.
If the bottom line is they absolutely won't introduce you and have no reason run. You don't need that kind of man in your life. You deserve better.
Maybe he's not looking for a serious relationship, just wants to date, besides it's up to you if you give up the cookies or not, classy women usually hold off a little, and if he thinks your only good enough to date and not introduce you to his family then maybe you need to spend some time on yourself before getting into another waste of time relationship with these white guys, never settle for less.