You have been dating a guy and you find out they have kids?

So you have been dating a guy, assumed he had no kids and everythign was going well between you two. 6 months into the relationship you are now boyfriend and girlfriend and you randomly ask if he wants kids, he replys he already has two and they live with his ex girlfriends (1 from each). He says it casually and when you ask why he didn't tell you he says you never asked and that they have sole custody over them.

He hasn't been dishonest its just you never bought up that conservation until now.

  • Still date him
    7% (1)25% (1)11% (2)Vote
  • Break up
    43% (6)25% (1)39% (7)Vote
  • have a break
    14% (2)25% (1)17% (3)Vote
  • other
    36% (5)25% (1)33% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • To me... I've talked to a guy who had a daughter. He told me the second day we talked. He said his parents aren't ashamed of him so why should he be ashamed of his daughter.

    If I talked to a guy for 6 monthe and his children never came up. There is something TOTALLY wrong with that picture. To me it seems like he is ashamed of them. Or wanted to be secretive about kids. Why? Is the real question. I wouldn't break up but still be cautious.

    I think it was dishonesty if you didn't tell about your kids I mean c'mon you have kids. Thats something you don't want to bring up because you'd want to know if the girl is ready to accept your kids or not. People that love their kids talk about him if he didn't he either hates his kids, is embarrassed by having kids, or isn't serious enough about the girl to have told her

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This wasn't cool finding out during the second date. Six months down the road is much worse.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I would be hurt because I know it's a big deal to mention them however I think it's just having mutual respect and tell them that you have kids, doesn't necessarily mean they want to meet them right away however before dating I would want to know and I'd be hurt like I said. I'd take time to myself because it could actually be a deal breaker for some people and they could not take it the right way.

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  • I would need more info..

    Like, sure, the mothers have full custody, but does he have visitation? is he paying support? does it make him all jaded and pissed?

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  • I would be sad he felt the need to withhold such important information. I would break up but I would hope he would enlighten me on the situation and explain how he felt about the kids and not having custody. Bottom line he's the same guy and I wouldn't leave him however I would feel like there are many more topics we hadn't breached and it would put a damper on the trust I had in him initially

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  • I would never get that far into a relationship without discussing kids first. I see that as something that needs to be talked about near the beginning because it's a deal-breaker for me. I would not stay with a guy that has or wants children.

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  • If he was hiding that from you then what else hs he been hiding?

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  • Umm no.
    He knew he had kids and should have mentioned in the start.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

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