Should I allow him a second shot?

In keeping this short and sweet...

Late January 2015, I started seeing someone for two months but eventually broke things off with him because I did not feel his level of interest was high shown through his lazy courtship. Although we stopped speaking, we remained cordial Facebook friends. My birthday was 3.5 weeks ago, and to my surprise, he personally contacted me to wish me a happy birthday. That following weekend, we went out to a private event together. An amazing evening that ended with me staying the night at his place for the first time, but nothing intimate happened. We've actually never been intimate, the most we've done is kiss after our 3rd date last year.

For the past 3.5 weeks that we've been communicating again, I'm a bit torn how to put this into perspective. On one hand, I still really like him and am interested in exploring if there's something between us. There's even a tinge of emotion as I type this. He's established, 11 years my senior (I'm 28, he's 39 this year), never married/no children, and he's a gentleman with me. He looks at me in a way I've never seen before and he touches me with sensuality and care. However, I require a lot more time, effort and attention that he didn't give during the two months we were seeing one another. I don't necessarily want to be jaded by last year, but I am questioning his intention (if any) for reaching out to me after a year of not speaking. Specifically on my birthday, which I'm sure he knows is a sentimental, calculated, gesture.

I'm torn if I should just go with the flow, or at least have an honest conversation about my concern and what I want. I will say that my hesitation is I don't want to be too assuming, but I also don't want to drive myself nuts wondering. We're a great pair, we have the most fun together and we're both caring but guarded people. I personally need to know what's up...

I'd love reasonable feedback. Thanks!


What Guys Said 2

  • He contacted you, and since has remained in contact with you, after a year of silence, and after you broke things off with him.

    That, in and of itself, is reasonable cause for you to inquire about his intent and discuss each other's ability to meet the other's wants and needs.

    Go with the flow when you are confident where the flow is taking you.

  • Lol @"keeping this short and sweet"


What Girls Said 1

  • If your 29 and he is 39. You're both adults why not talk about it then.

    • I'm leaning towards talking about it.