Why does the guy I like making no sense with his signals?

We have known each other for 6 months now. We've only gone out on 2 dates and they were really were great! He is 31years old and I am 23( no kissing or anything sexual). We've really grown to know each other but the past 3 months we only text and not for a very long time either. we never talk on the phone either. He works a lot such as I do. I mean shit! I work twice as much then he does! Hell swing by at my work and see me for about 5 minutes and so on 3 times a week. At times he won't talk to me for 3 days. He has told me that he does see us being serious and would love to have a relationship someday. he has told me he likes me a lot and loves the way I am physically and emotionally, But at this point it doesn't feel like it because of the lack of effort to actually spend more time out with each other. I am not asking for a relationship right now because I am in no rush either but it doesn't even feel like we are really dating. I have spoke to him about how I would love to see more effort because early on I was more quiet, extremely shy and closed off and he felt confused about my signals as well. So I put my guard down and just been open and honest with how I feel towards him ever since. We finally made out about a week ago too as silly as that sounds because we have only given each other kisses. We definitely both felt a spark! But he has made 0 plans with me. The 2 dates were 4 months ago! Sometimes well have days off the same time and he never bring up about us spending those days together. I would love to ask him but he hasn't written me back at all. Maybe an idea what it might mean? My apologies for my horrible writing ! Haha.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • a few ideas
    1. he's not being completely honest and may be interested in other people
    2. due to your initial shyness he may not really know how you feel about him
    3. perhaps he's shy to make the move and is hoping you will

    i think at this point you guys just need to have a conversation. you can play the will they won't they dance for a bit but after 4 months it's just old. so perhaps you can find a way to ask him out for a date and have a very frank conversation about how you feel and what you want

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    • Well I have stopped being shy. And been more upfront about our situation and his behavior. But haha that's the problem he hasn't spoke to me for several days so I can talk to him about what's going on, but yeah good point I'm going to let him know that he needs to quit playing games

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry to jump to conclusions, but is he married or have a girlfriend? This sounds oddly typical of taken male behavior. He wants to see and talk, but the times are usually very brief and kept as non-public as possible. It's normal for a date or two in the very beginning when he's trying to hook you, but after that, he'd prefer not to risk it.

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    • That's what I was kind of thinking too!. It would seem pretty obvious that's the case but I'm just trying to figure out how can I even know?

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    • Wow! That's devastating! And sounds like it all makes too much sense. Well shoot I wish he said something at least haha!. You gave me a great view on this so thank-you : ).

    • Live and learn! You're welcome, and sorry to be the bearer of potential bad news.

What Guys Said 1

  • have you tried to schedule a date? or are u leaving it all to him

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    • I have tried and asked when he's available but somehow the days I say hey in free! He happens to work. Or he has something important to do. So I just kind of stopped trying and just said hey I'll let you decide

    • i think he's stringing you along for when he's lonely

What Girls Said 1

  • Seems like he is hiding a dark secret by the way you describe all this.

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