I'm in my late 20s and never been kissed. How do I deal with this feeling of worthlessness?

Most of my friends are/have got married and I haven't even been kissed. I used to have problems talking to guys (and to be honest anybody) when I was in my early 20s. I sort of grew out of it but still have few guys friends (all taken).

I think what stops me now from talking to guys is that they've all kissed lots of girls and slept with lots of girls and here I am with no experience. I feel like it would make me look undesirable (it definitely makes me feel that way) to them and I wouldn't know how to tell someone if I ever go on a date.

I feel like its a vicious circle because my lack of experience/fear of them laughing at me stops me from talking to guys and that in leads to lack of experience.

How do I deal with this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just stop thinking about it or focus so much on it.

    Just be like who really gives a fuck about what they about you other than themselves?

    Or ask yourself, why should you even give a fuck about what they think or feel about you this way? Especially, since thinking about it is only going to make you feel down and bad then would it not be better to just not think or care about how they would think or feel about you?

    Worth and self-esteem is really on you. If you continue to feel and think that you are worthless then you might actually believe in it and give totally into it.

    If they laugh at you or belittle you for being still single, shy, whatever, then tell them "hey, I find that shit really offensive to me, and I don't find you helpful for laughing at me and putting me down, so cut that shit out already".

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    • It's less about them being obivously turned off by my lack of experience. But I cringe when I think about answering questions like 'how many relationships have you been in?' or if they lean in to kiss me then I would just panic.

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    • You're welcome! See, I hope that made your day better already.

    • Thanks for MHO!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you ever go to dance clubs?

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    • Not really. I have been to a few bars but it's always difficult meeting up with friends who would want to go.

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    • I think they would probably guess by spending 5 minutes with me

    • Then read up on stuff! No guessed I was when I did things and was inexperienced

What Guys Said 2

  • Well there will be some guys who find you unattractive for not being experienced, but I think there will be plenty more who might want this or are indifferent towards your experience or lack there of. Not all guys will be concerned with your lack of experience

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    • I'm not sure. Once I was talking to one of my colleagues (who didn't know about my dating past/lack thereof) and he was saying how he doesn't like virgins/ looks down on them

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    • Yes, that's his choice and opinion. But I'm worried that most guys my age would think that way.

    • Ahh yeah well I certainly hope not, but it may be possible

  • Guys won't laugh at you. They may not believe you at first because it's rare but they shouldn't laugh unless they are incredibly childish.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Right now you're afraid because of the level of experience those men have over you.
    I must push you into realization, you are nearing 30, those experiences that these men have over you will further increase as you age.
    You have to stop standing in your own, step outside of your box, and put yourself out there to meet people.
    Being too shy, only allows you to miss a lot of opportunities in life.
    I don't think people will be put off that you have never kissed, but more so your demeanor if you're allowing yourself to be physically withdraw from them.
    This is something you have to work on.

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  • Why does not being kissed make you feel worthless?

    That's a big problem.

    Worthlessness does not come from whether someone is kissed or not.

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    • I feel undesirable. Especially when every single person has had more experience

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