I go through that same thing... I love this guy for his personality, his expressions and all the stuff we have in common are great. But then... He is addicted to weed (I hate drugs and would never want to use any) He doesn't care about himself (I know I can't understand anyone who doesn't appreciate their own life) We get anyways too well along, everything just clicks... and I feel like this is crazy... Why is life playing these games with me? :D
OH YES been there done that have the T-shirt and willing to share my time wasted and what to do...
Have seen plenty of opposites attract and sometimes can be a blessing but also risk being a disaster = your case, according to your brief SO instead of being ship wrecked upon the rocks you list so clearly with the need of a lighthouse, consider this -
He attracts other opposites besides you e. g. family & friends so if you can keep your hands off him but stick around to make friends with his fam/friends, it's very likely you'll find The One that's not going to be a ship wreck like this one.