Ways to ask "the smart guys" out?

I'm starting to look for prom dates and i thought the perfect time would be to start asking around (or rather approaching and hinting) during Valentine's day. Let the guys know i'm interested. Except that i have no idea how to approach them. I have no idea how to introduce myself to guys. I'm more use to them introducing themselves to me which is also way more fun. However they also don't know how to introduce themselves to me apparently since they aren't certain i'm interested in them (i'm more of a private person). BUT, i do like these guys and i'm fairly certain they like me enough to go on a date. Its just that we don't have any friends in common, all of our circles are very small. The two guys i'm interested in are both very smart ( One's going to Princeton and the other is going to Vanderbilt) so they also don't have a ton of experience in the realm of dating either. What is a classy way to approach them to let them know i'm interested? I'm also worried because both of them are ethnic (One's Chinese and the other is Thai) and i'm the tall, blonde, blue eyed stereotype. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I suggest opening with a non threatening approach such as a survey. Smart guys love it when they can show off their knowledge and opinions.

    So, tell him that your doing a survey for any topic you'd like, such as politics, opinions about the prom scenarios, etc.

    This will give you something to do with your hands and it lets you look away from his eyes and down to the paper, if you get nervous.

    If you wear glasses, put them on. You'll look brainier and less threatening. Just not sunglasses as they are intimidating. It may be a cliche, but it works!

    Write down five or six questions on different subjects to have a starting point. After asking a few questions you can then take the discussion into other directions. He will be happy to follow you there.

    If you get nervous or stuck, look down at the paper and pick another question. This will let you continue the conversation as long as you like until both of you are comfortable.

    Then, ask him if he's thinking about going to the prom. Don't ask his opinion on what to wear, as he will have no idea how to answer it.

    Whether he answers yes or no, it doesn't matter. You now broached the subject and have an opening to continue.

    Now it will be easier to ask him the key question, "Would you like to Go to the Prom with ME?"

    If he seems uncertain, it's probably because he has no clue as to what to wear, or about corsages, etc. So, let him know you'd be happy to help him pick out clothes, etc.

    He will be so relieved not to have to make those decisions by himself.

    This then gives you the opportunity to get his phone number and have opportunities to call him about picking out a tux, how to get to the prom, etc.

    It will give you a chance to speak with him and get to know him better, without the noise and distraction of the prom going on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude thats easy just be logically and ask him out. clear as water!

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What Guys Said 16

  • Hi, brainy guy here.
    I'm thinking something along the lines of starting a normal conversation.
    Look for anything you two have in common and start a normal conversation. Steer the conversion toward prom, and ask him if he's going. (hint-itty-hint-hint). Make sure to smile, and make physical contact.

    Now I don't think this will work, this is just an answer to your question.

    What I think will work, provided they're as oblivious as I am, is plain English. Say Hi, do as above, and before you leave, write down your name and number, and give it to them. Make sure you say "Call me to go on a date".

    Do not say 'hang out' do not say 'friends', or any other coy little euphemisms. This will only make him question the 'date' part.

    Also be warned, if you have to go to these lengths, you're not going to get a ravenous lion of a man. We're nerds, if you want the jock a-hole guy who's going to treat you shitty, and cheat on you, you've come to the wrong place.

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  • Use their smartness against them.
    Ask them, how would they ask a girl a girl for prom, they mighr give a cheesy / funny line.

    Wink at them and say "you got it, pick me up at 7."

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  • 1) Smile a lot while you talk to him.

    2) Look for common ground in the conversation. Be genuine about it, and also look for things you both like that aren't common. A good spying technique might be to learn of something obscure he loves through mutual friends, then research it as prep for the conversation.

    3) Invade his space when you talk to him. Get closer than you would with other people. Proximity is sexy.

    4) Touch his arm or hand while you talk.

    5) Keep things open-ended. Follow up each comment with questions.

    6) Don't keep things going forever. Maybe five minutes, but make sure you end the conversation openly. Leave him wondering but with reason to be positive about you. "I have to go, but let's talk more about this later. Okay?"

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    • Instead of "6) Don't keep things going forever" I wish I had written "don't keep your first conversation going forever." That would have more accurately represented the idea I was trying to express. Do keep things generally going forever. ;)

  • Where were you when I was in high school? LOL!

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  • Tell him you both should hangout and you can show him that 1+1=3 ;-)

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  • its prom no one is smart lol

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  • Be forward in your approach. Dress up and ask him what he thinks of your outfit. If he shows interest, ask him what he's been up to lately and what he's doing for prom. If he doesn't have plans, suggest if he'd like to go with you since you don't have a date and tell him it would be fun. Don't be shy.

    Might be hard for a girl, but if you really like him you'll find a way.

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  • "Will you go to prom with me?"
    Seriously, we guys don't need anything special, a girl asking us out would be special enough (since it so rarely happens).

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  • " I have no idea how to introduce myself to guys." ... wow.. modern times.. I can't remember that a girl introduced her to me a SINGLE time... oh.. wait.. there was one time i a club when a girl stood in front of me and said: "you smell nice" - that was weird... DONT do that.

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  • I like how I'm a smart kid with reading and I'm going into the military as an E. Girls are gonna be mad about that, aren't they? By the way you need to find a point if conversation like a world event or something they might know about

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  • Smart guys don't play games 😎 just ask them out straight up there and then.

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  • Are you the square root of -1, because you can't be real

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  • Yeah, don't do that. The same thing happened when I was a senior in HS, and I thought it was incredibly lame. All these girls like yourself who'd ignored the smart guys suddenly realized that they didn't want to be dateless at prom and so started paying attention to the 'try-hards' in the AP classes. I even had teachers try to fix me up with girls for the prom. It was incredibly insulting. To have these girls with whom you had numerous classes, girls who ignored you even though you sat 10 feet away from them for four years, suddenly interested in you just so you might alleviate their shame at not having a date to prom was really shitty.

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  • When I was 20, i was sort of aware that some girls 'liked' smart guys.

    None of them saw fit to mention this to me as a 90+ student at age 17 who'd never had a girlfriend. Or any of the other guys i knew in that situation. I knew a bunch of girls in university who told me they liked the 'smart' guys in hs. I was always like 'were they dating anyone - no' did you let them know? - no.

    Yeah, let them know, expect them to take subtle signs badly.

    The other question that isn't clear to me here is... are you looking for a friend to go to prom with, or would you actually like to date?

    I will let the chinese/thai guys here answer, but my impression is a fair number of them find blonde/blue eye girls attractive, and a fair number of them think they have no chance.

    Add it up and you're going to have to flirt your ass off or go direct.

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  • Just walk up and say can you please help me with this math problem maby

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  • Either way it's typically pleasant to be asked out and unpleasant to do the asking. The best thing I can suggest is to just not dance around it, tell him you're interested and give him your number or ask for his.

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What Girls Said 5

  • If you're only doing it out of desperation, you should think twice about it. Don't just use these nerd guys because you don't already have a date. Otherwise, just get to know them first. You can't just go up to them and ask them to the prom. Spend some time and see if y'all actually have some chemistry.

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  • "Hello, I'm ----. You've caught my eye as of late and I was wondering if you'd be interested in going to the prom with me? I'd like to get to know you better."

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  • in my opinion, figuring out how to approach, how to hint, its too may steps. its way more work than just asking. keep it simple :)

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  • Warm them up with a convo before you say would you care to go to the prom with me?

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  • Was the Thai guy raised in the states? If not I can give you some advice 😁

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