What's the point of marriage?

Why does a changed surname or a ring have to define love? That's what I never understood
There are people I know who've been in the longest relationship and never got married
Yes they have kids and are still together
Plus imagine after you get divorced how much money and paperwork it is to change your name back
Eg my aunt got divorced like 20 years ah and she still has his surname because it's too much money to change anything back


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Legal pooling of income and assets and claim on said assets in divorce.
    Stronger legal custody claim by the father, and vice versa, claims on the father.
    Stronger legal right to make decisions as a 'next of kin'.
    Automatic survivorship rights.

    That's what it means, -really-.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're right. Marriage is pointless. It's just the paper that you both sign. It used to be the promises you make to the person you love in front of all those witnesses at the alter. Promises to love and cherish and stay with them no matter what. In our culture, it's no big deal if you decide to move on. If your partner isn't making you happy, you just move on (with a much lighter wallet, but it's not as difficult as it once was. Remember Henry the VIII?)

    Marriage is meant to be a beautiful union of two people who wanted to stay together for the rest of their lives. It was picking a partner that would stay with you for the rest of the journey. Wherever life may take you. It wasn't just signing something. It was promising something. It was supposed to be special. It was supposed to mean something, but now, people have sex outside of marriage, live with people they aren't married to. This takes everything special about marriage away. The only thing left is the promise. A promise that can easily be broken if you have some extra cash. So, you're right. Marriage is pointless.

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What Guys Said 20

  • It is just a tradition, a ritual, that now happens to establish rights and provides certain monetary benefits...

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  • I think very much along same lines as you - If you are in love, cohabit and have kids, why need an extra bit of paper?

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  • There is no point in marriage.

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  • Would you eat grilled cheese sandwiches for the rest of your life... no other food but grilled cheese? I mean, it might be the greatest grilled cheese sandwich of all time... but you will eventually want steak or a hamburger or ice cream. Why would you settle on ONE person to have sex with for the REST OF YOUR LIFE? There are roughly 7 BILLION people in the world. Yet, people choose to give up ALL of that to eat the same grilled cheese EVERYDAY for eternity! WHY?

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  • Some people are educated to feel that's the natural step, it's their thing...

    Other's maybe need some kind of a proff to feel that their SO is really into a life commitment...

    Some just like to reunite all the people, do a big party and celebrate the love.

    Other's do it to have financial advantadges

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  • The point is to give the kids a home.

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  • I was with my ex 14 years. We got married and it was over in 10 months. Should have never got married. Thats what she wanted was to be married to me then ran off with some guy she worked with. She kept my name cuz she wanted to. It wouldn't have cost her anything to change it back.

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  • I'm not married myself, but I thought there were some benefits having kids if you were legally married. If you don't plan to have kids, I don't see the point unless you think that being married you'll have more of your assets taken away than a 50/50 split if you got divorced. If you go into a marriage with assets and no prenup, your may be setting yourself up for a fall.

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  • taxes :P

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  • A changed surname or a ring does not necessarily define love. The point of marriage is the fact that you and your new spouse are One.

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  • I want to be married, I want that officially-recognized foundation for raising a family.

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  • The main purpose of marriage was to make people more secure, to say your vows to God to remain faithful till death do you part. It encouraged people to stay faithful and committed. But seeing as most people today don't believe in serving God and keeping his commandments then marriage is now pointless. Marriage is only meaningful if you believe in the commandments of God and that there will be a judgment day in the future.

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  • Exactly. The only difference between relationships and marriage is that Uncle Sam knows about the latter. That's really about it.

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  • marriage shows how much you love someone and the commitment you're willing to put into eachother. Being a Catholic, marriage is important to me.

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  • Marriage.. a relict of the past? We call that "wilde ehe" in Germany. Fun fact: Couples that are happy for 10 or 20 years and not married (=wilde ehe) MOST of the time IF they get married their relationship goes down the drain because they see their relationship totally changed, changed expections.. strange...

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  • Because it shows true commitment. This is why I'm going to get married in the future. Like father like son

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    • Yeah well so does getting your partners name tattooed on you shows commitment but it isn't always wise now is ir

    • I believe in it. To me it is part of becoming a true father and husband. Oh wait, you can't become a husband without it. Those are two of my goals in life
      To become a good and loving husband
      And to be a great father

  • There is no point, it just makes things official. You don't have to worry about your partner leaving you for someone else

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  • Well it used to mean somthing, until people just went really far with dating so most people dont think about marriage.

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  • There is no point in getting married

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  • No point if your a man.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I'd like to say this- marriage isn't a religion thing. It's a legal thing. Yes, you can MAKE it religious by having it in a church, with a priest, etc.. But it's only legally binding.
    If you need an official marriage to keep someone from running around on you or leaving you- you're not right for each other. If you need it to verify your love & label- you're not right for each other. No matter the legal binding, you should know how committed, how loyal, honest & loving you are by simply being together. I didn't believe in getting married because it was just a silly contract to me. However, I DID get married last year. Only because the legal benefits are important. My husband is from Costa Rica- I can help him get legalized easier. I'm now responsible for him if he's ever unhealthy & can't communicate or something. If he passes away, I'm responsible for him. On taxes & other papers, it's easier to just be married. & frankly, it was getting annoying with the different last names as well as sometimes being asked "are you married? When are you getting married?" Like, stfu already. We had a nice little ceremony at a reservoir & the party in my mom's backyard. Nothing close to being expensive, & it was nice having everyone around.
    My mom is hung up on getting married herself, & I think it's absolutely ridiculous. She's kind of obsessed with the idea. She's been a widow for a little over 16 years, & I'm afraid she'll jump at the wrong one. You don't need a ring or a marriage to verify your love or your devotion to a diety. That's the wrong & very misunderstood thing...

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  • You can change your surname and get a ring without being married, I suppose people just feel more committed and serious when they have the marriage label. I understand why people want to get married because it's whats considered the norm, however Its not something I'm interested in doing when I'm older unless I'm 100% sure-- I'm really reluctant on getting married.

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  • the decision to get married (or not) is a personal choice.

    personally, i don't believe that a piece of paper is necessary to prove that you love someone and, until i met my other half, i had no intention of ever being married.

    that said, my man and i have decided that we will be married at some point because we love each other and it's something we both want... because a good wedding and a good marriage are not the same thing, and we aren't worried that our day-to-day relationship will change.

    i understand that marriage (or the ring, or changing my name) will not rebrand me or complete me. when that day comes, it will simply be a celebration of our commitment to each other.

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  • Marriage can have a lot of other administrative effects. It's a status in society that can allow to access to certain things a non married person can't acess to.
    For example if you husband is a person in need and is housed in an apartment for people in need it also gives you the right to profit from the help he gets from the state.
    Same thing with taxes.
    Also if you're a religious person marriage is very praised in most religions.
    And it's still a nice tradition that has been here for centuries.

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  • I have yet to change my last name to my husband's, but it's nice to be part of his family tree. Eventually I'll change it, so that him and I, as well as our children have the same last name. If marriage isn't for you, don't get married. No one forces you to wear a ring or change your name as well.

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  • For the money? I rather marry for friendship! (:

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  • It makes people feel more secure with that type of commitment. Plus tax benefits etc. Also, different states have different laws for common law marriage but generally after so long and a couple other logistics the state will consider you married anyways.

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  • Um.

    0 especially in a western society, even a surrogate is more cost effective if you want a child.

    There is somewhat more benefit in Asia, but it would be difficult for you to achieve the rewards unless you actually live there long term. Partially arranged marriages are frequent there.

    :\

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  • Many people feel differently about this, but my friends dad was in the hospital in critical condition and longtime girlfriend couldn't visit because she wasn't family, nor could they give her any information about his condition. One daughter was very belligerent towards her. She wasn't allowed to make any decisions about his care, either. So after he got better they were married right away.

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  • I know!!! I see marriage as a business decision because you get more benefits. Otherwise I dont understand why people get married. Ill read to find out :)

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  • At this point the government should get out of marriage because married couples now pay more taxes than single people.

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  • There can be more benefits I guess: www.forbes.com/.../#7d3fe3263626

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  • The modern/western version of marriage is ridiculous and a waste of time. Its a legal contract. But if your like a person of faith and your marriage is under god than I understand. anything else is just to call that person legally yours

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  • i think marriage factors reality into the equation

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  • I don't see a point in it. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are doing fine.

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  • Yes they have a point but only religious marriage

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  • Marriage was made so God/the financial institution would be appeased.

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  • Some people consider it important though. They think that it can validate their bond.
    Others simply view it as a romantic gesture, while others do it for the kids or because it gives them more benefits.
    Personally speaking, I wouldn't want to get married, but I understand why some people want to.

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