I've lost interest in relationships, other than sex. What should I do to fix that?

I don't feel angry or bitter or sad, I've just sort of lost interest in relationships and love. The only thing that remains is sexual feelings.

Has as anyone had that happen? What did you do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I got to that state during a long and drawn out period of being brokenhearted, where I didn't want to invest anything after that, went from wanting to jump into commitments to being allergic to them all of a sudden.

    It seems easy to streamline these relationships down to just sex. After all, that's the of the sole activities you two can share that you can't do with just a regular friend.

    But I got out of that mindset by not pursuing women for a while and instead just pursuing friends. I found more comfort in friends for a good while over girlfriends, until I met some girls who started becoming interesting to me that way after I knew them for typically longer than I previously knew other girls I dated, and eventually married one of those.

    Typically I did things before the opposite way. I'd be very attracted to a woman first, want to have sex with her, ask her out on a date quickly, and then see how the dates pan out and how much fun we have both in and outside the bedroom.

    My later style when I was starting to lose confidence in the whole romance thing and just streamlining it to sex was when I started doing opposite. I'd just be friends with girls first, then the dynamic together was great as friends so that part was secure, then ask them out and see what it's like in the bedroom. When both of those dynamics are great, then you find a keeper with whom you can confidently enter a relationship, not feeling the need to strip it down to just a sexual exchange.

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    • After all, that's [one of] the sole activities

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    • If nothing else, you might make some wonderful friends and also experience some new things going out with them. Kind of a win-win scenario, and hopefully you might meet a guy with whom you can have more than a simple sexual exchange.

    • It might also help to go to a wedding. I don't know why, but a lot of my female friends tear up and start getting inspired to find a relationship when attending those.

What Guys Said 12

  • I'm opposite, I think. I masturbate, have frequent erections, but I have no interest in reality with sex without being in a relationship and actually getting to know the woman first. I wish I wasn't like this sometimes because I'm so horny, but... its confusing

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    • Honestly it might have something to do with having kids taken from you to where you can't even see them based on psycho mom being angry and the courts being the good ol bastions of justice they've always been since the first ape picked up the first tool resembling a gavel and through on a wig to distinguish themselves as better than other apes.

      Therefore sex is sacred to me, and I'm super fucking picky now.

    • That's really awful, I'm sorry you're going through this. Yeah, I'm not actually sleeping with anyone either, I just meant what you describe - my sex drive is still intact, but my motivation is gone.

  • Yeah, I'm pretty much always in this state. I just have sex as often as possible. Be safe, though..

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    • ONS sex isn't very satisfying - especially for the female partner, though. So that doesn't seem to be the answer, either. But I don't want to sign away all my free time & autonomy to get some action, either.

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    • What are places to find men around their 30s that are open to this sort of thing? Most guys I personally know are looking more for someone to take care of the kiddos on their weekend & do the housework...

    • Hm. Well, single guys that meet these conditions are likely to all have jobs, so co-workers are probably the most promising option. Unfortunately there isn't like a bar we all hang out at. But, there is no such place that women seeking a friends with benefits hang out at either, so... hmm. Hard to say..

  • Maybe you have a skewed idea of what relationships are. To an old person, a relationship isn't the person who was most romantic with you in your life, it's the person you wanted to spend time with

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    • That's the thing... I don't know that relationships are enjoyable, haha.

  • Yes. I kinda am going through that myself. I am just giving it some time

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  • Well, you should just enjoy and have sex, in my opinion

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  • I've lost interest in a lot of things that dont make me happy. Maybe people have let you down a lot in life and the obly thing that made you happy was the sex. Not a bad thing, im mean, i wouldn't suggest you become a hooker and get money having sex lol but thats not a big deal. You could go on tinder and find a guy who will be in a sex only relationship with you if you want.

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  • Give me a message and we can discuss this

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  • male prostitute on monthly retainer

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  • you could just post nude pics online and guys would maybe wanna Fuck you, Since U said all you wanna do is have sex now.

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  • You can thank feminism for that

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  • Does it bother you somehow? If not, then there's nothing to "fix". If it bothers you maybe you should seek professional psychologic counseling.

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  • Give me a call...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Nope. I mean if your bitter I guess sex sounds good. but i want much more.

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    • Nah, not bitter. I feel no anger or anything at all, really... Just apathetic.

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    • That's good! When you meet people by chance and you develop feelings, it's nice. Unfortunately, as you get older everything becomes more deliberate and social events take a lot of effort to make happen. Good luck!

    • Oh I know. I didn't want it at first. But than I felt so bad not having around and I was doing thing subconscious like thinking of him.
      And I totally understand... I have to try to go out for events and stuff. But I am too lazy and find comfort begin alone at home.

  • Yes, that's common with a lot of people. It may or may not change.

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  • You should take some time to heal. You probably got tired of the drama in relationships.

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