What does he mean when he says this?

I dated a guy in his 30s for a year. We are from different cultural backgrounds. His overseas parents didn't say anything until they realised it was serious then they strongly objected. He argued with them for months but they wouldn't back down. He tells me:
- he's his own man but his parents don't believe he is
- his relationship with his parents is wrong because they try to control him and he will change it but doesn't know how
- I am perfect for him and what we have is so special
- he wants a family that his parents are part of
- he doesn't want to leave me in limbo because he doesn't know how long it will take to change his parents so he'd rather be friends for now
- he is so hurt by all of this because he loves me so much

He tells me he's trying to do the right thing but to me it sounds like he just wants to keep me around without upsetting his parents. Eventually he will leave when he finds somebody else they would approve of or if he does manage to change their mind then I'll be at his disposal. He says he loves me but it sounds like he is playing things so he gets the best of every situation.

But while we were dating he was the most genuine guy I have ever met. Is my interpretation of what he said affected by my upset feelings?


What Guys Said 1

  • It looks like he's not really ready, and amy nwver be ready, to be hisbown man. You can't really blame him though.

    • Thank you for your response. Do you think he was genuine in saying he wants to be friends in my best interests? Or is that for his own benefit?

    • Show All
    • Thanks. It hurt but I needed to hear that.
      The rational side of me thinks that it's better we've broken up. The emotional side is tearing itself apart right now.

    • I'm sorry, and I'm sure he's sorry too. He doesn't sound from your description like a bad guy, just a little self-serving and self-deluded, but we all are.

What Girls Said 0

No girls shared opinions.