A lot of women create drama with the fathers. She may have tricked the guy into getting pregnant, and enjoys using the kid as a weapon to punish the father for not remaining trapped like she expected him to. Then they expect her new man to constantly side with her, and want him to out alpha the father while he is around, so that the father can see she found a better man.
Of course not all single mothers act that way, but the ones that do, are so insane it leaves a lasting impression on a guy. Often it may even be women in his own family that acted like that, so he may think it is normal.
I don't want to date women with kids, because that always leaves me feeling left out. Imagine if you were with a man that had kids, and you had no kids. The kids love him and not you, he loves his kids more than he loves you, and you love him and possibly even love his kids. You are stuck being the least cared about person in the relationship forever. That doesn't make for a happy relationship. I can't speak for all guys, but that is the probelm I have dating women with kids.
every situation is diff. my 2 children are under 10 and love my boyfriend. no father drama. he and i are clear with our new life. however, my boyfriend was very involve with his ex. s son. he played a much bigger role in their life. he was the "father" the "husband". because that boys father created a new family. (hope this make sense lol) (one kid is much easier)
now that my kids fathers (my ex. husband) has 1/2 time with the kids. my boyfriend feels out of place and overwhelm at times due to having 2 very active kids around. I sense that at times he doesn't want to be around however i can tell he loves these kids.
so i feel resentful sometimes that he is not being as nice to me as he did with his ex.
Single moms shouldn't date until the kid is well into their late teens.
Most men do not look upon single moms favorably. In majority, men will date single mothers because guys know the woman is desperate for love, affection, financial help and a father figure for the child. These men essentially prey on the mother's weakness and use her for sex, but never really consider her a potential partner to stay with. Single mothers that date are usually wined, dined for a few weeks, used for sex and dumped. Much to the detriment of the child who will see multiple men come and go, treating the mother like crap. Furthermore, the child is highly likely to reject the step-dad if he comes into the picture when the child is around 10-18 years old. Children are much more accepting of a step-dad if he comes into the picture when the child is very young, or becomes an adult at 18 years old (because by that time, they want their mom to find happiness with someone else. As a teenager, they are just mad that... yet another man is interrupting the family structure).
Doesn't matter SO LONG AS > they are protected from a revolving door of guys = becoming callus to investing emotions in them b/c they always leave > they are baby-sat very few times/week with someone family, caring & loving as if a vacation, life normal otherwise
Let me get this straight as a guy who won't date a single mother- NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULDN'T DATE. PERIOD.
But wait.. I just said that I won't date a single mother, what about it? You read it right. It is my OWN opinion and it shouldn't be enforced on anyone else. Similarly, all the other guys who say they won't date a single mom are presenting their own opinions like the many guys who WILL date single moms.
Now let me give you a guy's overview about the situation 1) We are not sure whether she really likes us or going for us because she's desperate 2) We are not sure if she is a really dumb girl who hastily takes important decisions in life just to get fucked up further in life 3) We are never sure that her child (ren) will ever like us even though we put in 100% of what we can. What if 3 years down the line.. now that I am too attached to her and her child refuses to accept me and treat me like shit. If I leave, I'll be called an asshole by society, if I stay, i'll be called an asshole by her child (ren). 4) What if she keeps comparing us to her previous husband, then what?
You see.. nobody is stopping you from the act. People are just warning you about the consequences. But, different people have different minds and what might be troublesome for one guy can be a challenge to others. So, find a guy who is ready to take you as you are.
I don't think the age of the kid matters because a woman can get a baby sitter while she goes on dates. I think the main issue is guys don't want to deal with baby daddy drama when dating a girl with kids. If the baby daddy comes around it causes so much drama and stress.
Who's business is it apart from hers? I hate the way they try and potray the public as one big gang working towards a common goal. It's nonsense. We're just a bunch of strangers trying to survive and be happy.
I think it's more so that men in general don't want to date women with kids from other men. You can date all you want, just be honest about it with him and realize that many men don't like the idea of raising another man's child, dealing with ex drama, being second to some other dudes kid, being with a woman that couldn't work shit out with the father of her child, or divorced a dude and took half his doe, etc. There's so many negatives that most men don't even want to get near that pit of spikes. Personally I love kids and I'm not afraid to be a father, but you'll never catch me raising other people's kids unless one of my brothers has kids and ends up dead in a car accident or something to that extent.
I have no problem hooking up with a single mom, but at my age
I've rarely seen many people give the opinion that single moms shouldnt' date.
I have often seen the opinion that many guys won't date a single mother. That's not because they think she shouldn't be dating, it's because kids are a big big deal and someone just starting to date can as easily find someone without kids, rather then walking into insta-family. Most people without kids aren't all that ready to suddenly live a 'parent' lifestyle. And finally, while many guys will hookup with single moms, it's awkward to date casually. Because you're either avoiding the kids or you're not, and if you're not, the relationship RAPIDLY jumps to being pretty serious.
From the kids prospective, i think it was harder for me to accept that she was moving on and trying to date while i was a teenager. If the guys a good guy it doesn't matter. Date him. I would suggest getting back out there though before your kid turns 12. Despite thats when kids become more "independent" and stuff i think thats when I needed my mom the most. Now that I'm 17 almost 18 I seriously wish she would have got back in the game earlier. I feel like she'd be more happy with a guy. We go out and I'll try and point out guys who would be good for her and get her dates etc. Lol it's great. But to answer your question, if the guys a good guy date him. It doesn't matter.
I chose 8. I think at that age they are most likely into sports, school activities, etc. It would be easier to finally go out and meet new people for the single mom. But, to each her own. I think it's the mom's personal choice when she feels it's ok to start dating.
The only problem I would have with a single mom dating is if she was prioritizing dating over her own child, especially if her child is young and still largely depends on her. As long as she can find a healthy balance and still properly care for her child, there is no reason she shouldn't date though.
She should date as long as she's putting her childs needs before any date. I also think dating while the child is a newborn shouldn't be done at all, as she can't possibly have enough time to date since newborns require constant attention. So if a woman dates while her child is an infant that makes me side eye her.
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Home > Dating > I see a lot of opinions that single moms shouldn't date. How old should the kids be before she tries to date, or does that not matter?