We went on three dates and he basically made out that we were going to be a couple. He got me to really like him, met my family, said he wanted me to meet his then out of the blue he just ignores me and deletes me off Facebook.
He's on tinder again (where we initially met) and even matched with my best friend; I'm pretty sure he knew she was my best friend. :/
basically now I feel worthless. Like nobody is ever going to like me or stick with me. There was a guy after him who did the same thing, well it turns out he actually had a girlfriend. I feel like I can't trust guys anymore, like its inevitable I'll get hurt again and they'll just leave, they all do.
Im so angry at that one guy though because he literally told me so many lies. He told me that he wasn't going anywhere... He did. He told me that he would tell someone if he wasn't feeling it... He didn't, he just messed me about and ignored me. He said he really liked me... Well obviously he didn't because he's treated me like shit. He's so annoying too because he's always lurking on snapchat, seeing what I'm up to. It just all hurts
I'm a nice person. I don't get why he was so mean to me. :/
Most Helpful Guy
Hmm, I think you give these guys too much power. Young guys, hey, even people in general, can be flighty and superficial. It's like your whole sense of self rests on these guys' validation.
Imagine I'm going for a job interview. Throughout the job interview I project a lack of confidence and a kind of neediness. Naturally I don't get the job, even though I may be the most competent person there technically and in terms of my qualifications. I then spiral into a depression, and dread the thought of continuing my search, therefore confirming my evidence that I'm not good enough, and requiring more validation from the next hirers. Is this really sustainable, even sensible? I only see those people for half an hour. I have to live with myself for all of my life. If one puts so much power into their hands, then what is the implication of that? What is truly so wonderful about these people that I think winning their validation will somehow make me a worthwhile human being. It's about self valuing. Soon as your attitude to yourself improves, you'll actually find you can attract better people anyway, because you can be more discerning.
As a side note, don't know if it applies to you, but it's good general advice. Sod all these gormless boys on the tinder and the internet in general. Cultivate a few hobbies, or volunteer, do stuff that is a bit challenging and involves meeting new people (presuming you don't already). Work on your confidence, however you see fit. Most dating sites are full of tragic people hoping to fill missing parts of the puzzle through others (hey, I speak for myself here ;)), rather than going into their self, and learning to live with themselves, learning to love themselves, even.8
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Girl
I wouldn't let him know he hurt you, because that may give him satisfaction. I've found that the best thing to do in these situations is to just pretend you don't care. That's what hurts the most, is when someone doesn't care about you anymore. By telling him how much he hurt you, you are showing that you still care about him and that gives him satisfaction.
As for your issue with guys repeatedly doing this, unfortunately there are bad apples everywhere. Tinder may not be the best place to find someone looking for commitment either. Either way, you will find someone who really loves you soon or later.1