Why can't I find anyone to date?

oh boy where do i start? i geuss ill tell you alitle bit about myself, im straight but im demisexual, im not a bad looking guy as I've been told and im also a body builder so my body isn't bad either (unless u like skinny guys) im kind of shy and dont know what to say to girls i find attractive but this is being fixed because im starting to train myself not to focus on it, i dont meet much new people due to the small town im in and i dont have a good rep at school so i can't date anyone at school, but i have met the occasional girl that I've talked to but something always goes wrong, i think these problems will go away once i move out of this town but can anyone help? im not into just sex i like the frienship part most and thats what i want and yet something keeps me away from getting it. what am i doing wrong or what do i need to be doing?

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  • I kind of fit that same category, at least before, of being shy but physical (bodybuilding: though I'm kind of on the slender side, haven't bulked up that much).

    I found it helpful to me to develop that kind of teasing and playful attitude. I liked to shove girls with my hip/butt. Then they do it back often, and sometimes that kind of leads to holding hands.

    I like to crumple up a piece of paper and throw it at girls' heads. I still do that at 34 years old, to which I usually get the response, "Just how old are you?" (but with a smile and laugh).

    Also I like to crumple up a teeny piece of paper, stuff it down a straw, and then shoot girls like in the neck or back of the head.

    Sometimes it's like playing a game of tag, I don't always play a game of tag but it's keeping it kind of immature and fun that way (mental image).

    All of this kind of stuff builds a playful relationship, and I find it easy to transition from playful and laughing to intimate. It's my gateway, laughter to intimate, from laughing together to holding hands, things of this sort.

    Also it helps to befriend girls who you aren't even attracted to, just kind of getting used to hanging out with women and how to talk to them. It's helpful to try to build a friend network that consists of mixed genders.

    Mostly just remember to keep it light and have fun. We tend to cringe up and forget all these fun opportunities right under our nose, opportunities to tease, play, make a joke, keep it light. Things don't get very awkward if you can even joke about the awkwardness.

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    • lol thanks for the help, im surprised noone has gotten mad at you

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    • Also arrogant humor can work as long as it's obvious that you're not actually arrogant, like, "Hey, if you keep this up, I might even let you take me out to dinner." Things like that. Funny kind of distills everything, plus if you get a girl laughing and smiling a lot, it's an opportunity to get closer.

    • thanks

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